*+_Praise † Grace_+*

He gives me strength when I am weak, His love endures forever. He anoint my lips, and in a thousand tongue I speak, His love endures forever. He instill fear in my heart, and I fall in reverence of His presence, His love endures forever. He gives me wisdom when I am foolish, His love endures forever. He inspires me to do great things, His love endures forever. He creates and never forsake, His love endures forever. He promises and never fail, His love endures forever. He carries me when my feet cannot, His love endures forever. He disciplines me when I am beyond control, His love endures forever. He leads me back when I am lost, His love endures forever. He is my light in the coldest night, His love endures forever. He is my lover and loves me when I am not, His love endures forever. He is fair and just, His love endures forever. He is graceful and merciful, His love endures forever. He is never changing nor casting a shifting shadow, His love...

For a moment I thought I would never have to write this. Apparently, the end of the world didn't come as Hollywood expected [well, they didn't think it would come anyway, they continued their American dream chase as they did.]. And so at the eve of 2012's ending, let's lay out some New Year resolutions: To preach in churches, especially PBBC, my University church. I think I'm ready to take my service further. To really focus on things that really matter, to juggle between reaching out to people more in need, Need to realise that I can't do everything. To be a little more mature and wise in my daily interactions with people. I need to make less unfruitful and disgusting jokes. To wait patiently for the Lord to say I'm ready to commit in a relationship, no more mental jumping and desperate hopes. To focus on serving the Lord. To set apart at least RM700 from my next semester's PTPTN, live in a tight budget, to fund my future missions. To set apa...

It was THANKSGIVING!!! Our prayer coordinator, Jason Lim, who never cease to surprise me, came out with the idea to write down things we are thankful for to replace Psalm 136, and so voila! For all answered and unanswered prayers, His love endures forever. He anoint my lips and in a thousand tongues I speak, His love endures forever. Thank you for giving us Jesus, His love endures forever. Thanks for giving me true joy and peace which men cannot give through the servings and distribution of gospel flyers. His love endures forever. Thanks for letting me to experience Him in every single things in each of my daily lives. His love endures forever. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness, His love endures forever. To Him who is ever-faithful even when I am not, His love endures forever. Who gave me a family when I am far from one, His love endures forever. Who always just send someone, something to cheer me up when I am down, His love endures forever. Th...

ODB 25 Oct 2012 The author said:"...Sometimes the busyness of everyday life blocks our view. We take for granted His amazing work in our lives. We lose the wonder of the cross. We lose the wonder of the cross. We forget the privilege of being His child. We neglect the pleasure of His presence and miss the beauty of His creation. What can I say? Nothing, because Iam at fault here. Just last night there was so many grudges in my heart. I felt like the whole world is against me. My heart was cursing at everything and it burns with ander, which is fear and worry in disguise. I realise I was worried because I don't trust God. I blame God for such ugly situation. While all things came like a tsunami, I forgot His splendor. I forgot that my God is was bigger than this. I forgot that my God is more than able in this. Defeated. I realised I did not enjoy. In the midst of all these I entrapped myself with expectations of achievement. I was not set free. How can I enjoy when I...

ODB 23 Oct 2012 The journey back from workshop was a terribly long one. Lamentation 3:15,17&18 best describe my feeling:" He has filled me with bitter herbs and given me gall to drink......I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say:' My splendor is gone and all I had hoped from the Lord." I really wished my dad would love me the way he loves others. As I was talking to my mom and she tells me all that my dad suffered outside my house, she also tells me the sentimental part of my dad whom sound strange to me. The cheezy, loving, gentle dad is not the dad that I know. Ever since young I'm dying to live out to be a son after his heart, but it never seems enough. Even that lazy, worthless uncle of mine seems to get more defending praise than I do. I really don't know what my dad is expecting of me, the impossible? The sole reason why I would be jealous of my sister ever since young was because dad praises her even if she...

ODB 22 Oct 2012 There's a thousand things that I ought to give thanks, more than what my mortal brain can recall. But it's funny that I don't do it often enough. Today alone I have so many to give thanks to God. When Pei Juan of 1st year texted that she would be able to join Family Camp, I shouted for joy. I thank GOd because that really lifted my spirit. I thank God for getting rid one thing that had been bothering me. Wang Ching wanted to come for Family Camp and his Islamic background put me in a dillemma. While we were squeezing our brain trying to weight good out of the bad, Wang Ching decided that he wants to celebrate Hari Raya Haji. A part of me feel sorry that he couldn't make it, but a bigger part of me felt relieved that I have one less thing to worry about. I thank God for dinner tonight, for he blessed Gilbert so much to bless me a dinner at Shnagri-La. I thank God I could dig out some time to come for today's devotion. I thank God for the place ...

OBD 21 Oct 2012 Today as I went through YouTube for some voting videos as preparation for MAD Week, I stumbled upon a clip that broke me into tears. My soul is weary and all that Jesus asks of me is to hold on. But the storms come and the rain hits, I feel tired. If Jesus is to declare today "harvest day", I would want Jesus to find me still holding on to direct people to Him. If He is to ask me to present each fruit that I have gathered, I would like to present my peace, kindness and self-control. So let me sow to the spirit and reap eternal life. Therefore, to remind myself, I ought to test my own actions, without comparing myself to someone else. In all that I do, I should ask myself, "Am I sowing to please my flesh or the Spirit? Am I going to reap destruction or eternal life?" Let me not be weary in doing good, for at the proper time, I will reap a harvest if I do not give up.

ODB 20 Oct 2012 Today's passage seems to peak to me more clearly.My heart lacks peace as CF Family Camp draws near. We need about 15 more participants to cover the numbers. I totally did not expect this when we booked the place for 40 persons. For a moment I feel regret to have made such hasty decision with so much faith. But somehow today's passage seems to be telling me, "Hey, take this as a test of faith." Then I started asking myself, how would I react if God is not going to fill up the remaining spots? What am I going to do? Am I going to be angry at God , or am i going to continue to love Him the same way? God works at His own timing, let me trust Him, after all when the committee prayed, we asked God to make this camp the way He wants it to be. God has made so much miracles for this camp, should I point my finger at God for one thing that He wouldn't do the way I want it? The passage says, "...delay, if we accept it, can produce the quieter virt...

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Jesus has come to give us a life to the full, so that we can live it. But how can we live life to the full when we are so caught up by our own guilt and worries? Didn't Jesus come to set us free from sins by paying the penalty for all of us? Then why are we sometimes questioning ourselves, "Should I do this? Should I eat that? What have I done? Am I guilty? What can I do to make it up to God? How many good works is enough? Is it ok if I missed my prayer yesterday?" I want to live a life to the fullest then I do not have time to think all these questions which Christ Himself has already solved for me. To be truthful, there isn't ENOUGH good work that we can do to make it up for our mistakes, there isn't a way to cover back our prayers, there isn't enough money to cleanse your guilt, there isn't enough that we can do to please Hi...

ODB 19 Oct 2012 Titus 3:3 (ESV) "For we ourselves were once......slaves to various passions and pleasures..." This part of the verse stayed with me particularly. I clearly know why. But I do not wish to stay on it. I feel sorry for myself nevertheless. Though Christ has changed many aspects of my life, I have to admit that flesh is one hard thing to deal with. I'm glad that Christ came to save us (Titus 3:4-7) and I ought to be ready for every good work (Titus 3:1) . I really take pride and gratitude for every gift that God has blessed me with. I thank God that I can speak publicly comfortably, I can do many and achieve many that others may find difficult. And I possess that passion and love for God and His people. I always thought I have had enough gift, but after reading today's passage, it gave me another thought. "Just because a skill is not needed right now doesn't mean it never will be." Maybe I should be open to God to put in me various gift...

OBD 18 Oct 2012 I guess sometimes even when I see unfairness that happens to me, I too will ask, "Why God, why?!" And we tend to think we deserves more of God. But little do we know, even as we think like that, we started to focus on ourselves rather than God Himself. I think this is a great reminder to all of us, we were all "by-standers" who were "standing around" before God came and gave us a "job". We all forget that i twas God's grace that gave us purpose, so I guess He totally has the right to give the same to anyone else. When we start to think that we deserve more blessing and things, aren't we in a way saying:" I found God and worked hard for Him, I DEMAND God to give me." I think I need to keep reminding myself that I am saved by God's grace and only on Him that I should turn my eyes on. ~~~ TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS, LOOK FULL IN HIS WONDERFUL FACE, AND THE THINGS OF EARTH WILL GROW STRANGELY DIM, ...

It's weird when almost every post for the start of the month always start with "It's been a long time since I last posted." HAHA! But well, the fact remains, it's been a long time since I last posted. I guess being FEMS Coordinator challenges me further that I ever expected. The semester kick-started with CF Night. It was truly taxing and demanded every bit of my strength. I wonder why it actually eats me up more than any event. However, I truly enjoyed it nevertheless. After the event, I'm sick until now. I was worried. CF, PBBC, UFO, almost everywhere needs me to put my feet in. I would be lying if I tell you I do not wish to be MC for any event that's going on in Campus. I would really enjoy doing that. But if I can't even handle what is already given to me, how can I want to do anything else? So I lay low on this, and soon people just doesn't approach me for MC anymore. Well, seriously it hurts. I was popular, and I have to let it go. H...

God, there are moments I feel like giving up, when rewards are not apparent and people just don't give a damn for the things I do....I'm so tired. Finally, God, I let You take charge...I can't do this alone anymore. I beg You....

O Lord God Almighty, Give me life in Thy way. Give me a spirit that is poor, That I may rely on Thee, And may I inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Give me a heart to mourn, THat my heart may be broken for pain and injustice, And may I be comforted in Thy embrace. Give me a life that is meek, That I may be gentle and compassionate to others, And may I inherit the earth Thou created. Give me a thirst for Thy word and a hunger for Thy righteousness, That I may walk upright in Thy golden pathway, And may I be satisfied in Thee my Provider. Give me a capacity for mercy, That I may forgive and forget transgressions against me, And may I be forgiven in my sins against Thee. Give me a heart that is pure, That I may not set my eyes on vanities, And may I see Thy glory with blazing sight. Give me the power to make peace, That I may live in peace in the land of hostility, And may I be called Thy son by Thy sweet voice. Give me righteousness and streng...

The boat ride into the Orang Asli settlement was a lengthy one. A small stretch of dark cloud over our head, covering us from the scorching heat of the mighty Sun, a little relief that we are thankful for. I had no idea what awaits me. I would never have expect what I will encounter in there would change the way I love people forever. These people aren't poor if you would ask me. They are very much different from some beggars that loiter the streets of Kuala Lumpur. It's not like they are unwilling to work, they toil and work as hard. However, if you would stand where they live, you would soon realised, these people, they are trapped. It's vast water around their home, and they are stuck here on this island far away from hope. The island that they live on, was not an island but earlier definition, but the construction of the Temenggor Dam flooded the whole area, forming the second largest lake in Peninsula Malaysia, after the Kenyir Lake. (May refer to  http://en.wikipe...

Things are very different in a small town compared to a city. We think Internet makes news spread faster. Well, we have no idea what small places can do. Conflict, misunderstanding, false accusations and etc. are nothing strange to Lenggong people. Conflict is almost inevitable when people come in contact so easily at a daily basis. Even for the church in Lenggong, the congregation themselves couldn't shake loose the habit of a typical unbelieving Lenggong folk. Malicious gossips, even against their own brother and sister, happens everyday. Their tongues are uncontrolled, their speeches are immature, their lips curse publicly. I witnessed first-handed during the first Sunday spent in Lenggong how unforgiving the believers are. Pastor Loh invited a brother (let's call him Brother DC) that has not been to church for a long time due to a very serious conflict happened long ago. The church herself does not welcome this brother. Feeling unwelcome, the brother begins shouting sa...

"Let's show the kids some movie, they gonna love it!" I thought to myself two days before my departure to Lenggong, Perak. I somehow got myself "Joseph King of Dreams" and "Prince of Egypt", but how do I play it? I need an LCD projector. I broadcast my request on Facebook, trying to see if there's anyone that could help me with that. I don't have much hope for that. After all, it doesn't matter if I have it or not, it's just better if I have it. Some friends suggested that I should request from my University. It is not impossible, but it is rather unpractical as I'm leaving the next day and there's really a lot of hassle doing so. It was also a disappointment after calling up 10th KL Air Scout Group as they need their projector at the duration of my loan. On the other hand, my Facebook status which praises God for my exam result (which merely pass) attracted one of my old atheist friend, Wan's attention. And so I asked h...

I gaze in awe of Your work, This morning I am silenced. There is not a word that I can think, To describe the beauty of Your creation. So in silence I closed my eyes, In awe I stood still. You made the birds sing to each other, They are singing the wonders of Your hands. They sing of Your love for them, They sing with gratitude for You clothed them, They sing with gladness for You fed them. They sing with joy for You lifted them up, As they stretch out their wings and soar. Father, make me sing for You alone, For You who lacks nothing and provides everything. I have nothing to offer You, This is me, and if You accept me, I can't find a reason to reject, This wonderful work of Your hands. Joash Mock Kar Wai 8 July 2012 Camp Cameron

You are the Father of a newborn baby, A baby born ignorant and childish. You brought me out to green pasture, And You teach me how to walk. You put me on the grass, And my feet taste of its dew. I'm filled with joy, But my feet is weak. I'm too excited that I shake loose Your hands, And I fell face down, mud smudged my face. But You ran after me, And with a gentle hand You picked me up. You wiped off the tears on my face, Tears that turn brown, mixed with mud. You blew off the sand in my eyes, And I can see again. You lead me with Your warm and strong arms, With joy I took my childish steps. One step at a time You guide me, One leap You would lift me. I give You glory, for every leap that I make, Is not done without Your lifting hands. I give Your praise, for every stop that I take, Is not taken without Your fortress-like arms. Father You place rewards before me, And You lead me towards them. I'm sorry that sometimes I shake off Your h...

今天从教会温习回到宿舍，Nicholas 早已带来了大学难得一粒榴梿。不管宿舍离我多远，我留下来好好享受那香味绕梁的榴梿。 榴梿早已开了口，不花一点功夫我便把“可怜”的它开了。 ～～ 老妈常常会拿着菜刀，东转西转着榴梿，花了半天也开不了第一粒榴梿。我跟妹就蹲在哪儿等那黄黄的肉出现。妹早打了几个喷嚏，肉也没看到半个。 这时，老爸会奇迹般出现。小时的印象，爸的背后好像有一片红色的斗篷。我跟妹开心地叫爸！爸！开榴梿！ 老爸接过菜刀，看看榴梿，妹会迫不及待地伸手过去，爸会说：“睇手啊！”，再看看榴梿的屁眼。毫不犹豫一刀殴了下去，扭了一扭刀，拿起来，再殴下去！ 老妈会忙着拿碗拿碟，我跟妹就蹲在那儿看着英雄般的老爸，用他那粗而有力的胳膊，把榴梿壳给打开了！妹再打了个喷嚏，我还呆在那儿：老爸好厉害！ 榴梿啊！ 来开多几粒！ 老妈会唠叨：“食好好来，整到成地都係，净间又要我抹！” 我和妹幸福得也听不下耳了。只管笑着吃！ “哈秋！哈秋！” “哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！终于都到爸爸咗！” “两父女一DAM-DAM！” ～～ 父亲节快乐！ 阿爸天父， 感谢袮赐我这英雄般的老爸。今年父亲节第一次自己在外头，感觉有点伤感。不过袮无处不在，让我感觉到父爱，感谢袮！请袮继续保守我的父亲和母亲，保佑他们一起走过的每一步路，让他们健健康康，好让我有机会有如敬爱袮般敬爱他们。这一切是奉主耶稣得胜的名求，阿门。

T.T I'm gonna miss a month of blogless again! I'm so sorry I'm busy and lack inspiration....will update soon!

Where was I? Owh, Ultimate Frisbee Skill Workshop. So I had the idea of introducing Ultimate as a sports in my campus even before I enter USM. However, I really lack contacts and strings that can help me to pull this off. So I put this behind my mind after I enter Uni. However, I kinda thought I should have some regular game in campus. It started really rough as it is something totally new to the students. It started by meeting my Cell Group Leader, Edmond Teo, who learned to play Ultimate as an exchange student to the U.S. before I came in. To learn that I'm passionate about the game excited him and that gave me a little push to initiate regular pick ups in campus. The first few week it's always me alone on the field as I'm only a Year One student, I couldn't have known much people in campus. But thank God, on and off there will always be one or two coming as I try my best to catch attention on Facebook. And when those days people just don't come at all, I'...

This totally broke my record, no post for one bloody month. What have I been doing?! Talking about bloody month, March had the month the Spartans marched! I literally shouted:" AWESOME! *with the same tone saying THIS IS SPARTA!!!*" day-in-day-out. LOL I don't know just when I'm going to collapse if I did not do so. But the Lord had been faithful. Well, He always is. One important day for me was Easter Celebration. I was kinda worried if I can do a good job on that when Ernest approached me during last study week. But I had faith that God will put things into place so I "awesomely" accepted the "challenge" *CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!* After the final examination, no news about the whole thing for more than 2.5 months. LOL, I mean like no one talked about it AT ALL, until Ernest came to me like:" Dude, it's time!" LOL And when that happened, we had only 4 weeks to get it ready. WHAT?! We spent 2 weeks getting things ready, 1 more we...

Haha, it's a already Day 2 since my 2nd semester started, it's also my 2nd day trying to fulfill my resolution to jog in campus. I had to compromise a little from jogging around the campus to cumulative 1.2km on the jogging track in campus. I feel it's safer to jog without having to avoid cars. This is how I do my daily jogging. First I will not bring any electronic device, water nor my wallet, and walk all the way to the jogging track. In the mean time, I'll do some stretching. Once on the track, I'll jog 800m, which is 2 rounds of the track, then slow down to a 400m walk to catch my breath. After completing the walk, I'll start to jog for another 400m before heading back to my hostel and call it a day. At the end of each separate jogs, I will sprint for roughly 50m to train my sprinting ability after a long run. I do this because I realized I'M FAT! I also would like to bring back my stamina to perform better in Ultimate. I don't have the stamina t...

LOL, a quick update. Just got back at my hostel. It's a start of a new semester. Full-charged, I'm ready to serve God better in USM. One month of semester break had been good to me. I've learnt much about myself, my AWESOME Jesus and what He wants to do with my life and in my life. Coming back to the story, I might have over-written in my last post, it was *stretching my hands apart* th~is long. Long story short, during all my dreadful life I had been worshiping the counterfeit gods of power, popularity and acceptance. I wanted them so much, I did not realize I would not hesitate to cross the line in the pursuit. And then, as I moved up to Form 5, I knew I have reached a cap in my scouting "career", my personal counterfeit gods morphed themselves into counterfeit gods of romance. In romance, I had been trying to find my significance. In fact, this idol had been in me for a long time, that I constantly look for a romance that would love me so much and fill up t...

So, if you have noticed on my Facebook Timeline (I'm not asking you to stalk me though.), I've been sharing quotes from this book titled Counterfeit Gods written by Timothy Keller. So much so one of my friend, "unfriend" me because "too much religion on your wall, have to delete you, bye my friend. =)" LOL This one-month semester break had been good to me. Despite reversed biological clock, where I sleep at 4am, wakes up at 12pm, there's so much I've learn over the time. Boy-girl relationships, marriage, sex, lust, law of attraction, fate, predestination and idolatry. But perhaps the best I've learnt so far, is fundamentally idolatry. It seems idolatry has been the root of all sin. Ever wonder why the first commandment from God deals with idolatry? It was obviously the most fundamental sin of all, and if it's not dealt properly, even the most faithful servant of God may fall short. It was idolatry that caused Adam and Eve to have desire...

Oh whao, it's already February. Time flies when you're older, hehe, without realising, I'm old enough to say I'm old. I'm all stuck in the middle right now. Seeing what people have, seeing what people do, I'm not one exception that do not desire for something. But I'm struggling, you know. I do not know what I want. My desire and my conscience are at constant fight, I'm soon gonna lose my sanity. I lost the will to fight, I lost the strength to hide. Tired, defeated. I realised I have nothing but....... Alright screw this! Emotions always got the better of me at this late hour..... You know Lord? I always wanted a partner, You know that well. But Lord, it is You whom I want to give the honor. I know that You already have that special one for me, and I know when that comes I cannot run away, I won't run away. Lord, one thing I ask, You know how much I desire someone to fill that hole, I would be really happy if I have that special someone ...

I forgot how much God loves me, and I forgot how God changed me, and now I'm all broken.

My heart just grew so cold, I can hardly feel love. I forgot.....Romance.

Sometimes I feel Jesus must had been out of His mind. Luke 6:27-31  “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you." I mean, come on! If someone takes my coat, I would grab it back and give him a handcuff to the police station. Anyone asks from me, I would ask why. If anyone takes what belongs to me, I'll demand it back in time. IF SOMEONE SLAPS ME ON ONE CHEEK, quoting Mrs. Ramani:" You won't know what came like a tornado, what slapped you, what landed here, all you know was 'O, Ramani was here!'" This is just so outrageously unreasonable. But, that's just Jesus right? This aw...