Prayer For You

Oh whao, it's already February. Time flies when you're older, hehe, without realising, I'm old enough to say I'm old.


I'm all stuck in the middle right now. Seeing what people have, seeing what people do, I'm not one exception that do not desire for something.


But I'm struggling, you know. I do not know what I want. My desire and my conscience are at constant fight, I'm soon gonna lose my sanity. I lost the will to fight, I lost the strength to hide. Tired, defeated.


I realised I have nothing but.......

Alright screw this! Emotions always got the better of me at this late hour.....

You know Lord? I always wanted a partner, You know that well. But Lord, it is You whom I want to give the honor. I know that You already have that special one for me, and I know when that comes I cannot run away, I won't run away.

Lord, one thing I ask, You know how much I desire someone to fill that hole, I would be really happy if I have that special someone now, but if it's gonna destroy me and pull me away from You, as much as I don't like it, please, keep it away from me. You are far more precious than that foolish desire of mine.

Lord, I pray for that special someone, I do not know who, I have someone in mind but I ask if she's the one. I do not care, I just submit this very desire to You and let You decide. Father I pray for that special someone whom You will bring us together some time in the future, keep her safe, keep her healthy. Keep her walking with You, because if she doesn't walk right with You, I don't see if we can walk right together. Father would You give her wisdom and understanding, to be able to live more and more godly as a woman, that woman whom I will honor and love. Father, would You give her a heart of compassion and kindness, as she sees children, will care for them with love, give me a heart of empathy to care of people around us? Father, would You guide our steps, in every step we walk, we walk in holiness and godliness? Father, would You keep us clean and pure in everything that we do, that our marriage may honor and glorify You who are exalted Highest in Heaven?

Father, teach me to obey and to trust, in this struggle between my faith and desire, I cling onto Jesus who is my sole Savior and Lord, the only One that fill my heart and life. I choose to wait upon You, and I choose to wait for You. Father I pray that You'll be the center of my life, even if You demands me to give up my life, my wife, my children, my family, my money, my reputation and my everything. Father I pray that You'll be my sole God, You'll discipline me when necessary. You'll chisel out every piece of counterfeit idols in my life and replace it with You. Be my everything! Be my only Thing.

Father burn me in love and passion for You. You who saved me out of my pride and self-destruction, will be my only pursuit and strife. My Greatest Friend in my life.

In Jesus' Awesome Name that I pray, Amen!