SWEEP Day 11: Smacked by Reality

Today's reflection prompted us to think about what God may have called us into for the past week. The Scripture recounted the story of Moses who received God's calling and repeated rejected the calling with excuses. I think some excuses that I would give God are: I don't have time, I'm working, what about my family, and etc. Yet in my weaknesses, God will meet me halfway.

We were all excited for attachment today. After teasing Philip for the one last time, we hopped onto Brigger's car and off we went. Home of Love for old folks was a lot nearer than Natural Farming. We arrived in less than 15min. Home of Love is a double-storey building in green. Unlike other places that we have been to, there is no greeting nor proper welcome. The first person we encounter was an old uncle sitting still at the corner. A tattoo-ed man was feeding another skinny old man on a wheelchair. The place gave a overwhelming sense of inactivity and stagnation.

Richard, who was here last week went ahead to greet everyone in the house. Most folks seem to recognise him. I followed closely behind him and greet the people after him. After walking around, I found Jolene standing still as a pole, staring at the house. "I don't know what to do, or what to say." She said. I smiled "Well, sometimes, sitting down and listening to them is already doing something, while it may seem not much." I went on to share some of my previous experience with old folks.

Richard gave us some briefing and instructions. He suggested that we look around for opportunity to help, otherwise we can sit and just entertain the old folks. While we were talking, one of the uncle brought us chairs. We panicked as we were served by an older person who could hardly walk. We sprinted forward to take the chairs over from him and gratefully thanked him. He sat down right beside us and continued watching TV.

I turned to him immediately after the briefing. Uncle Lim William is 74 years old this year. He had been in the Home of Love for nearly a year now. He has 2 daughters who stays in Miri with his wife. I did not ask further as to why he is not staying with his wife. He was more interested with the TV at that moment.

I then walked out to the courtyard. It has a gate that is loosely kept closed by steel wires. The 40-year-old Abdus is the only Malay among the old folks. He appeared active and lively, but as he speaks, you could tell that he's lying most of the time. According to him, he is a close friend of the manager and he's only here to visit for a few days. He continued to talk about his wife and children. According to Richard, he was found abandoned in a house and had been taking drugs. He ran away from the Home of Love two days ago and it took the workers some effort to find him back. And therefore the locked gate.

I returned and talked to uncle Lee. He is 77 years old this year and have been with Home of Love for the last 4 years. Sitting beside him was an paralysed uncle who utters no word at all. He only respond to food and water with nods. Among them were a few aunties that I did not approach.

On and off, a intellectually disabled girl will laugh histerically and barge into your conversation. She is probably at her 30s but has a mind of a 15. While she may be naughty, she helps out in the house.

I spent most of my time with Uncle Lau. He is also 74 years old and a Teo Chew. He enjoys music and requested many classical chinese song. It was challenging for me to relearn some of these songs. Uncle Lau is a professing Christian. So I played some Christian songs for him too.

Today's task involves preparing cooking ingredients for the entire week. Fadricks worked hard in the kitchen as communication was difficult for him. Most residents of Home of Love speak various Chinese dialects that I find my language very limited. Jolene's Hokkien proved to be a more effective language as she actively engaged with the aunties.

Throughout the morning, random people came and went away. A Buddhist couple came to offer donation to their building fund. A man came to inquire for his uncle who will soon lose his shelter. Another couple came and donated 5 bags of rice. To be honest, in terms of charity, the Buddhists seem to be doing a far better job than us. While we may question their motives, but action speaks louder than words.

There wasn't much to do. We spent most of the time sitting and listening and singing. I think sometimes social work involves patience and inaction that makes you uncomfortable and restless. I am never comfortable around old people, but when I see them, I told myself that I will do in all my means to keep my parents away from such circumstance. So help me God.

I think Ps. Ned reaffirmed what had always been on my mind. Today the session began with Loi, a final year medical student, sharing his mission trip experience with Malaysia Medical Fellowship. Ps. Ned spoke on the reality of a social worker. He began by asking us to describe our idea of a social worker in drawings. He then presented the Matthew 25 mandate. The parable of the ten virgins was a reminder to be prepared for God's work, to be rooted and to be alert. The parable of talents was teaching us to use what God has put in our hands and serve Him from where we are. He said that God has given the church the keys to the kingdom of God, what we ought to do is to use the key, instead of singing songs and praises to it. At the end, there shall be a judgement.

Ps. Ned continued to share the 3 stages of a social worker. It starts with Romance, where a person gets excited and passionate about doing social work, after tasting the fun and fruit of the labour. But when reality strike, it brings us to the Reaction stage where we begin to taste the bitterness of failure and hardships in social work. In this stage, purpose must be discovered and move beyond passion to drive our work. Finally, provided that we do not quit, it brings us to the Realization of the reality of social work, where we continue to work in humility and obedience.

After the session, I took the opportunity to approach Ps. Ned. I shared with him that I am passionate about mission and evangelism but I had soon realised that preaching alone is not going to cut it. He advised me to get out of the church mindset and emphasized that the greatest need and impact made is out of the church. I agreed than it is perhaps effective if there is no string attached. Ps. Ned reaffirmed me: "Go get a job! Make an impact out there!"

It spoke a lot to me. I think I have finally found that wee bit of courage and say: I am ready for the secular world. What if all the these was to prepare me for the secular world and shines from the darkness? If I remain in the church, I would be hiding that one talent in the church.

Today is an emotional day for all of us. It's Fadricks last day with us. During supper we spoke our words of farewell to Fadricks. For Fadricks, this program had been an avenue for him to break down his own walls of discrimination against the West Malaysia. He felt loved among the East and West Malaysian alike. For the most of us, Fadricks had been a quiet one among us, but had also been a naughty fella that was close to our heart. To comfort Fadricks, I promised that I wil continue to share his burden and love for Sarawak, and that I will bring the message of "Sarawak for Sarawakians" back to West Malaysia as an advocate among my friends. I am a man of my words! As we weep with Fadricks, we all came to realisation that this camp is drawing to an end soon. Farewell is inevitable but the good news is that we will all be sent out to make great impact to our community. As we waved him goodbye, we prayed and sent him off for mission.

SWEEP is ending soon. There is so much left to say, so little time. It's getting harder to catch up on my journal as I want to maximize conversation time with the SWEEPers. Time is of the essence.

God's Character, My Encounter.