SWEEP Day 8: Enjoying Silence

Matthew 6:1-4 is especially hard for a loud person like me. Praises and recognition drives me. And yet Jesus reminded us not to make charity an act of public display of self-righteousness and flash it around like a banner. Perhaps the Scripture is reminding me: let God's love for you and the people drive you, then let God's heart drive you and finally let Him drive you. Diligence, humility are two virtues that I must develop in suffering for His kingdom.

Aaron spending his time in
silence and reflection

Today was a day of rest for SWEEPers. Well, FES enjoys a balance of silence and fun. We spent 4 hours in silence and reflection since 10am. In these 4 hours, we were to reflect, meditate and listen as God spoke to us in the past 7 days. To be honest, ever since Camp Cameron 3 years ago, I must confess that I enjoy such alone time that is hard to come by.

We were given Psalm 139 to reflect upon. Personally, Psalm 139 often come timely as a reminder and discipline to return to God. It reminds me that there is no escape from the knowledge of God. He sees all things and is sovereign over all things. To respond to Psalm 139, I paraphrased the psalm in my own word that reflect my current state of mind.

Writing Psalm 139 was a relief and a confession for me. There is so much to say but there is no one to share, and yet I refused to come to Him whose ear is always ready to listen.

Reflecting Psalm 139

Then I took my time to read through my journals. I had been through so much, listened to so many, yet nothing seemed to stay with me. At the same time, my mind keeps wondering, would I be able to do the same if I'm involved in the secular world? Can I perhaps do greater impact serving among the working non-believers? I have been given a perfect sets of social and technical skills to work, certainly I can be a light among the busy.

It seemed rather timely when I caught a glimpse of a book at the reading corner: Spiritual Living in a Secular World. I spent 20min reading the introduction and it relates so much to me. It spoke strongly to me that the work of God does not merely remain in full time ministry. There is so much to do in the secular world. The book uses the story of Daniel to illustrate how a long-suffering Christian can be a light and a banner for Christ among the secular people.

Lay witness is particularly significant when the cause of Christ is under fire, as in the time of Daniel, Christians today are often accused of being narrow-minded, of trying to impose their views on others, of destroying the culture of the people, of lacking integrity, and of many other things. People end up having a stereotype of what Christians are like - and the image isn't flattering.
Yet, when people meet committed Christians who are honest, hard-working, concerned for others, and polite, they are forced to reconsider their opinion of the gospel. This winsome witness of laypeople challenges the false stereotypes of Christianity prevalent in society. - Ajith Fernandes

I am glad we were given the time to stop and think. I think in the midst of confusion and disorientation, the dust finally settled down a little in my heart.

It was supposed to be rest time for us from 3pm till late night, but I was on a different task. One SWEEPer came to ask for my help (I shall not disclose names) to move his/her house. He/she was in distress because of financial constraints, therefore I offered to help where I can. Jason joined our ranks too.

Jolene in reflection

I was expecting a proper hostel but I was completely knocked out by surprise. We arrived at a building under renovation and construction. Well, I thought probably he/she kept her possessions temporarily at such place, but no. He/she lives on the second floor of a building with hardly a good piece of wall. The room is probably about 60sqm. Hardly any room to put a bed, the room has no water supply nor a proper place for shower. They had only a pillow and blanket for the each of them. Red and green electric wires were dangling on the roof. The floor is not tile and layered with thick cement dust. Thankfully there is a three-plug extension providing electricity for the room but it's not exactly safe as they are connected to life wire directly without a proper plug. The luxury of a fixed line internet is out of the question. The subsequence rooms next door has no doors on it. The only window in the room faces the West, I can only imagine what terribly hot nights the two of them have to go through. Do you know how much they have to pay for that? RM250 a month for such room. These are the living conditions for students who live from day to day while struggling with their studies.

I compare this to the hostel that I lived in: proper shower room, unlimited electricity, running water and internet, proper elevated bed, a ceiling fan, proper lighting,full set of desk, chair and wardrobe and a few cleaners that faithful clean our irresponsibilities daily. I pay for all these in less than RM3 per day. And guess what, the students in my campus complains as if they are living in hell. We have so much, and yet we have so little gratitude.

Today, my heart was broken for my newfound friend. How then, can I help students in need? What if I can provide for them and myself? What if I have the means to help and impact students? How can my financial allowance help students struggling for a future? My heart was heavy in thoughts as we journey back, yet he/she continued to laugh and smile cheerfully. I guess it was only right to rejoice with her even in times of hardships.

It was one-on-one session where FES staffs will talk to each of us personally. Once we arrived, Peter took me to a coffee shop and we began talking. I started by telling him my struggles and my unaligned motives of coming to SWEEP. I also told him that the idea of working in the secular world and initiating social work in companies kept prompting me for the past few days. Peter agreed that full time ministry is not the only way of glorifying and serving God.

I think one thing God really wants me to see in this SWEEP, is the political struggle of my East Malaysia brothers. Prior to coming to Kuching, we had hardly any exposure to the problems of the East Malaysians such as Dam Construction conflict, native civil rights and etc. I also think that I am given such revelation so that I may play my small role in advocating these issues for my West Malaysian friends. They must be made known, even just the few of them. One way to do this is by social media. My social media influence is small, but let's start small shall we?

Talking to Peter is always nice. Knowing him since STOMP Timor Leste made this conversation much like catching up. He gives a fatherly warmth to all of us.

I stopped by the Office for a place to read. About 10min later I was joined by Su Jian and Richard. We began to talk about how our speakers doesn't give a false sense of humility but merely presenting their work as it is.

At about 5:30pm, we departed to City One Mall, one of Kuching's largest malls. We had a time of window shopping. I bought some specialty popcorn for the team to share: Kimchi popcorn and Wasabi popcorn. Shally was completely thrilled. We also lingered at a souvenir shop with many unique items. We stayed at the mall for about an hour before we head off to our dinner place.

Window shopping!

SWEEP outing! Asher is always blurred in almost any photo!

Kam Pua! Finally tasted Kam Pua!

FOOD!

We arrived at Premier 101 Food Court. Premier 101 is set on a open square. There are about 30 stalls selling all sorts of food. I ordered a Kuey Chap and Kam Pua for myself. I forgot, the portion of "small" in Kuching is really "extra large" in Penang. Hahaha! We had fun eating and chit-chating. While we were eating, a father and his daughter were busking for the public. We even sang along as we ate. We joined the father-daughter team after we ate. We danced to Pocho-pocho as Shally led us in the dance. It was so much fun.

We called it a day. Tomorrow will be the start of another week for SWEEP. There is much to be anticipated. We will be visiting a school for juvenile. It should be a very new and exciting thing for me.

Post-busking photo!

God's Character, My Encounter.