*+_Praise † Grace_+*

Things can't get any worse today truly. The frustration of bad things happening at the same time is unbearable. As I came home yesterday, I found my wallet missing. I must have misplaced it somewhere in Penang Island. I'm hoping that it could be found. Never mind about the money, but the wallet itself is memory. It has been with me since I became a Christian. It was a gift from Abigail that I insisted not to change even when so many others offered me new wallet. To make things worse, my phone decided to go cuckoo on me. It's the same issue with the antenna again. It's like my 4th phone in 2 years and I'm really tight in budget now. My smartphone (or more like a tablet) is not a phone for me to play with it or whatever. It's really for work. Spoiling it really mean spoiling my pace of work! And all these things decided to happen, on the eve of my examination. And did I tell you about my headache and also that lousy job of interpreting at church? ...

Everything happened too fast, I had no time to react to it. It was one scene O.K., the other scene K.O. We were cheery and gay when we decided to go for a supper a little further tonight. We even had fun singing songs with my ukulele. The next thing I know, Chin Wui yelled: "Oh no! Joanna, look to your left!" Joanna was halfway in her dialogue as a vividly make out a silhouette of 3 guys sitting on the road and 2 motorcycles laid defeated. None of us expected this. Neither did I. I would have drove on, until Chin Wui remarked: "I think it's one of our students!" It was Gary. Two riders crashed the red light and they were too fast to stop. Fear did the rest of the job, as they lost control and rammed into Gary. Debris, and wounds. Gary was swearing in anger. That totally means he's fine, with scratches on his limbs. The two riders were fine too. The younger one still in shock. Everything was resolved and was fine afterward. Nevertheless, this time,...

My soul longs for You, O Lord, No satisfaction can fill. I hunger for You, I refuse to eat until I have tasted Your goodness. My spirit fasts, But my body craves! I crave for fulfillment but I seek none. I desire satisfaction, But I run to vanity. O Lord, how long more shall I wait? How tired I am in this war, Torn between my spirit, Who craves righteousness and eternity; And my body, Who craze after lust and destruction. O Lord, when will you come? I long for the day I crave no more, Because I will be so filled in You. My wicked flesh shall be no more, And a new one shall come! As for now, Keep me! Forgive me! Save me!

The question: Why doesn't the Christian students desire God? This has been the lingering question that I always talked about. But recent reflection had yielded an answer: Because I don't desire Him as well. I always thought about things that I can do to bring about this deep desire for God among the CF members. What had been missing is my persistent fast and prayer. The truth is, I did not desire to see God move in ways I cannot myself. I pray very little, work a lot and desire to see a lot. To sum things up, I don't love CF and the members enough to fast for them. I was not willing to give up all that I have for CF. I was not willing to give up my food. But a gentle reminder from my Catholic CG member that fast and pray must come hand in hand. While the lack of fruit in our ministry may be a way God is asking us to be content in Him, it could also be a way that God is asking us to repent, fast and pray. The reason why we do not see fruit in our ministry could be t...

And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.  Acts 2:42-47  Acts 2:42-47 is a short description of the early church’s daily activities. In this portion of verses, we were able to see the basic activities of the church consisted more than just attending Sunday service. After receiving the Holy Spirit, the believers were empowered with joy and gifts that helped them to carry our va...

I always wonder why Christians would choose classes, assignments, meetings, work, trips, camps and any other things over prayer, worship and Bible Study. My point is not really about choosing secular works over church-related activities, I am wondering why would followers of Jesus choose anything else over Christ Himself? I wonder why Christians sing songs about following Jesus wholeheartedly while having no compulsion to seek every opportunity to experience and to worship Him? I wonder why Christians don't find God desirable. Fear. The truth is that we fear. If we are honest with ourselves, we fear what is before our eyes in this very life. That fear, stems from the fact that we don't trust God. It's funny really, because we sing songs about how we trust Him yet very often our lives don't reflect that. In our struggle to run away from what seems threatening, we do our utmost best to juggle and balance things out, to make the best use of ...

So, busy life caught up again. They caught up for one reason and one reason only: procrastination. It's a lifelong struggle that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. Anyway, it's 5:30AM, 6 more hours to CF Family Camp in Cameron Highland and I can't fall asleep. So I decided to write something. It always help. There are so many things that I'm thankful for. Most of them, I believe, is purely grace, simply because I don't think I deserve them. Internship Project I'm so thankful that my internship project has gotten me so much attention. I had never expected that. The project was by standard simple to the point of childish, yet my employers from the United States of America seem to like it so much, I traveled back to Bose Systems Malaysia (BSM) just to present the project to them. Two days ago, I just received an invitation back to BSM to record a presentation video about the project. The video will be show in our HQ Corporate Office back i...

October 4, 2014 Saturday, Rain 5:30AM to wake up is really early for all of us. Nonetheless we were very excited, to sleep in the car. I was the driver, keeping myself awake seems to be my priority over the driving. Susan was very early. It seems waking up early is normal for her as a school teacher. Chia Chang lives two floors below me. He was awake by the time I finished brushing up. I was so glad to see him getting ready excitedly. Shirleyuen sits comfortably at the back of the car repeatedly said that she can talk to me if I feel sleepy, while she slept through three quarter of the journey. About 10 minute past the scheduled 6:30AM, we said a prayer of journey mercy and off we go! ~~~ It was raining the entire night. The road was wet and my windscreen was fogged. We were getting nervous because of the rain. As we come close to the Jawi toll, the Sun peeps through the rainy cloud shyly with his radiant face. We were so in awe of the sight. It was indeed a hopeful si...

After more than 2 years of wearing my golden key necklace, I finally had to take it off my neck. I was bathing when I realised that golden key is going to fall off the chain any time soon. The connecting loop seems to be corroded and opened. I cannot risk carrying it around. One fine day it will just fall off and gone is my precious gift from my dad. A closer examination at the connecting loop found that the loop is corroded by the repetitive grazing between the loop and the chain. I must be losing some tiny amount of gold every day. 2 years ago when my dad gave it to me, I was so excited. It is the same necklace that my dad wore for years before giving it to me. It was a recognition of my adulthood and complete trust for my freedom. I swore I was going to wear it until my son reach 21 years old. I simply forgot the fact that nothing last forever. I was naive. This simply reminds me of Jesus' Word: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust des...

Today, I spoke to a friend about building relationships as a Christian. I said that God calls us to be genuine relationship builders, as Jesus Christ is the Relationship Builder between us and God. To do that, it means to courageously open us ourselves and to be mentally vulnerable. That also mean that we will be vulnerable to hurts, betrayal and disappointment. As I chose to follow Jesus, one thing that really makes it hard for me, is to lovingly allow others to act upon their wills, even if it means going against my will. Growing up as a dominant leader, it frustrates and enrages me when my will is denied or my orders are disobeyed. Honestly speaking, I despise people who "puts his hands to the plow and look back". I despise people who pulls out last minute simply because it was inconvenient for them. To these, I feel hurt and betrayed. More often than not, I respond with rage and anger. But this is what it means to be vulnerable, that we may build genuine rela...

Last Sunday was perhaps a new milestone for me. By the grace of God, I was given the opportunity to serve as a bassist in the worship team. It was exciting for me, as playing an instrument is never really a thing for me. I believe it was God's timing for me to step out of what was comfortable for me, in order that I may explore the grace of God in my areas of weaknesses. The worship team was not in form in any way humanly speaking. Our most talented guitarist Jemil was unavailable to serve. It was down to the pianist and the bassist to set the music for the worship session. At the same time, our worship leader was troubled by sore throat and flu. Co-leaders were new and were not ready to take over the lead. Yes, we were a mess. But I believe it was exactly that mess, that I was reassured of the all-sufficient grace of God. While playing the bass and backup singing at the same time, I truly experience what was a God empowered worship of God. I found myself overflowing with ...

Today was the second activity of USM KKJ Christian Fellowship for Academic Year 2014/15. It is also Theme Talk: a very important night for our CF members to know and understand where we are heading this year. Benjamin, as the newly elected President, was under a lot of pressure. I thoroughly enjoyed the night. Benjamin did extraordinarily well in bringing the members step-by-step into the heart of the Theme this year: God's Character, My Encounter. At the end of the event, as Benjamin sits in my car, we realised as President and (ex-)Vice President, along with Jason, we all shared the same doubt: What's gonna happen to CF? I recalled how clueless we were when Jason and I were the Presidents. It was in our hands to steer CF into the direction in which we will glorify God. Our inabilities to see the future put a lot of pressure on us to make decisions. Jason asked me: What's gonna happen to CF? Honestly, I didn't know. I was a clueless as Jason was. Even ...

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  Romans 8:5 Even as I read the New Testament, particularly Roman 8, there is a resounding message: Things of the Spirit. Contrary to the "Word of Faith" or more commonly known as the Prosperity Gospel, the Bible constantly put our focus on the things of the Spirit. As I read Romans 8, I simply cannot agree nor comprehend that the promise and reward of God is anything tangible like wealth and health. Instead, Romans 8 constantly speaks of the Spirit, which is life. Romans 8 also speaks of hope and promised glory as adopted sons. To make the contrast worse, Romans 8 mentioned that as heirs of God, we share in suffering with Christ, in order that we may also share in His glory. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also ...