In Him I Find My Peace

Things can't get any worse today truly. The frustration of bad things happening at the same time is unbearable.

As I came home yesterday, I found my wallet missing. I must have misplaced it somewhere in Penang Island. I'm hoping that it could be found. Never mind about the money, but the wallet itself is memory. It has been with me since I became a Christian. It was a gift from Abigail that I insisted not to change even when so many others offered me new wallet.

To make things worse, my phone decided to go cuckoo on me. It's the same issue with the antenna again. It's like my 4th phone in 2 years and I'm really tight in budget now. My smartphone (or more like a tablet) is not a phone for me to play with it or whatever. It's really for work. Spoiling it really mean spoiling my pace of work!

And all these things decided to happen, on the eve of my examination. And did I tell you about my headache and also that lousy job of interpreting at church?

These things kept my mind occupied. It's a constant battle between my frustration and my faith in God. My heart tells me to complain, that's one way that may ease that pain; but my spirit tells me to trust God for what He can do.

There is no peace. I know, it's God's way of telling me to talk to Him.

As I reflect, projects and tasks kept my mind pre-occupied from Him. Successes kept complacent. Not forgetting to mention the good blessings that I have been enjoying from Him. I became so comfortable, I lacked nothing. To be honest, the reason why I did not realise that I lost my wallet was because I was enjoying His blessings. While I was on the non-stop-eating trip to Penang with Kai Seng and Matthew, I never needed to draw money from my wallet. Kai Seng insisted to pay for my food and all that I need, I happily received them. I needed nothing.

In my frustration, I must drag myself to find that peace in God alone. That would mean time of silence in reading His Word and listening to Him.

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few. For a dream comes with much business, and a fool's voice with many words. 

Ecclesiastes 5:1-3

I think many times, being an engineering student,  I am tempted to launch into action to solve problem. But God is not always in action. He gives us time to think, to reflect and to seek Him in all troubles. Today, as my day could not get any worse, God is asking me to seek Him. In all my trouble, He is my peace and serenity. So I went into solitary.

In my silence I begin to remember God. I remember how God is the Creator of all things. I remember how God was able to rain down fire and defeat the Baals. I remember how God gave the widow that Elijah visited with bottomless oil and flour in time of famine. I remember how Jesus fed five thousands with five loaves and two fish. I remember how God provided the money, food, shelter and all the things I had at times when I need them. So then if I lack nothing, why should I fret over small things I lost?

In my silence I begin to remember God. I remember how God was able to revive the son of the house which Elijah sought shelter. I remember how God enabled Elijah to walk days and night without rest. I remember how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. I remember how Jesus healed my father in the beginning of my faith. So then if my God is the Engineer and the Healer, who should I worry about the dead phone?

Remembering God helps me to find my focus again. In times when anxiety clouds my sense, finding God is to find assurance and protection. To know that my God is bigger than all things, I am at ease. It is His peace that flows in me, so that when my enemies are marching towards me, I will sleepy soundly in my dream, for He is my fortress.

I won't come to Him with words and petitions. There's no need for that. In Him I lack nothing. Yes, I would like my phone fixed and my wallet found, but nothing is better than finding satisfaction in Him. Above all else, I want Him to be glorified, in my silence and inaction.

God's Character, My Encounter.