How Much Longer

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Lord, You are the God of Heaven, and here I am on earth, so I'll let my words be few.

How much longer? How much longer do I have to wait? I'm getting restless and I'm getting impatient. All those pressing comments and all those concerned voices, I wish they would just shut up.

People simply do not understand. It is never my desire to be idle. I wish I can earn my own living too. People seems to think I enjoy being unproductive; lazing around as I eat off what little savings I have. I wish they could stop telling me what to do, even though I know they were out of loving concerns. I know what to do, but it's all waiting now.

Why don't people understand: waiting is not necessarily something bad. Must I be constantly doing something or contributing something, otherwise there is no place for my existence?

I wish I could sleep off those waiting time, but only to be awaken by dad's name calling: Rice Bug. Figuratively, he's making fun of me for eating without working. He, of all people should understand how I feel: No man wants to feel so inferior and helpless to provide for their family. I wish I could provide too, but it's now all waiting.

So God, how much longer do I have to wait? 3 days is like 3 years bearing those spear-like comments and "advice". I feel like I'll be drown soon. I'm like a sloth waiting at home just to be fed. Nothing interests me. I just feel like shying away from the crowds so they could stop telling me what to do.

How much longer do I have to bear this shame?

If You have asked me to wait, then I shall wait. I only ask of You Lord, may the day where my heads are lifted up high, come sooner.

Psalm 130
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
O Lord, hear my voice!
   Let your ears be attentive
   to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,
   O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
   that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
   and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord
   more than watchmen for the morning,
   more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the Lord!
   For with the Lord there is steadfast love,
   and with him is plentiful redemption.
And he will redeem Israel
   from all his iniquities.

God's Character, My Encounter.

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