Penang Trip 2.1

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Home safely, but alone. =)

Gave myself a smile. I'm gonna live by my own very soon, so I should not fear it. But this 4D3N trip wasn't really pleasant. I don't know why. Maybe because it rain for all 4 days; maybe because that's where I'm gonna live for my next 4 years; maybe because I'm having too much food and my stomach can't stand it; maybe because I can't have you right beside me; or maybe, I'm starting to drift off my group of friend.

I just can't fit in anymore. Everything I do, I speak, I think is way too different, and I'm paying the price for it. I try very hard, but at the same time, I'm tired of holding on to it. So tired of being rejected, being taken for granted.

But I still refuse to let go, because it's been what defines me so far.

I don't know. It's a good trip after all, but I don't think I've enjoyed it max. It could be better.

Even the sky seems grey and dark, but I know I'm not alone, for God is always with me. It's just my desire for love, for touch. It's lust.

God, I long to be with you. If You will, take this desire away from me if You don't intend to complete me so soon. I should feel completed in You alone.

Nothing worries me, just don't let me go. Don't let my friends go, I love them. I love You.

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