I've never done this, never, to anyone on Earth. But Lord, You have definitely captured me. I can't explain to anyone else, but all my shame, all my fears, just vanished. You are faithful!
Even as I'm writing this, I am so tempted to pretend everything is alright going on in me. As this may be read by people, a great part of me wants to pretend that everything is going alright. But if I am to be real, I need to stop pretending that I am okay with all that comes crashing on me. I think I've been told so many times that I should keep my anger and pride in check, I begin to believe that I have no right to feel angry. I must put up the kind, compassionate, gentle side of me even when within me, my anger rages. I'm supposed to swallow all the "unloading" people give me. Why does it feel like I am constantly the one who is at fault: that I'm not gentle enough, not respectful enough, not humble enough, not wise enough, not compassionate enough? That I must be gentle, be wise, be respectful, even when I am accused, wronged and misunderstood? Why? Do I have no right to express the first emotion that comes to me? Do I have no right to be hap...
Reflecting my past two and a half years in Li Xin Baptist Church, I can't help but wonder what would happened if I had walked away. It was an easy choice to make, LXBC was at her low point: members leaving the church, some considering to leave, worship team was in a mess, the spirit of worship was nowhere to be found, suspicion among members. I was new in town and working across the bridge. It would have been much easier if I had chosen to attend a church nearer to where I stay and easier for me to practice my faith. Pastor Matthew and Ai Hua at my graduation Yet I stayed. In hindsight, I don't think I made that choice on my own. God placed me here and I somehow had the heart and courage to say: this is where I will stay. While I'm glad I did, but it would have saved me from so much trouble and discomfort. My First Mission to Thailand with LXBC But if I had walked away, I think... 1. I would have missed the opportunity to allow God to mold me in my charact...
It's been a month ago since my last post. Well, being active in USM Engineering Campus did not bear me much fruit, except for fame, or notoriety. Still, what makes me passionate is God and Ultimate Frisbee. However, condition now in USM Engineering Campus is totally different than being in the Cheras Dogpound. I can count with one hand how many knows the basic of playing this game, and I can count with one hand how many are passionate about it. And when people are not passionate and afraid to try new things, weather plays an important role to hinder their decisions to join and learn something new. Therefore, I pray for a nice weather so that everyone may join. But for the past one month, without any post, at the same time, without any pick up on the field. It just rained every time I decide to play. And I started to question "Why do You like to do this?!" I was reading Daniel last night, trying to fall asleep, not even know what I was reading. But what caught ...
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