*+_Praise † Grace_+*

Home safely, but alone. =) Gave myself a smile. I'm gonna live by my own very soon, so I should not fear it. But this 4D3N trip wasn't really pleasant. I don't know why. Maybe because it rain for all 4 days; maybe because that's where I'm gonna live for my next 4 years; maybe because I'm having too much food and my stomach can't stand it; maybe because I can't have you right beside me; or maybe, I'm starting to drift off my group of friend. I just can't fit in anymore. Everything I do, I speak, I think is way too different, and I'm paying the price for it. I try very hard, but at the same time, I'm tired of holding on to it. So tired of being rejected, being taken for granted. But I still refuse to let go, because it's been what defines me so far. I don't know. It's a good trip after all, but I don't think I've enjoyed it max. It could be better. Even the sky seems grey and dark, but I know I'm not a...

I've never done this, never, to anyone on Earth. But Lord, You have definitely captured me. I can't explain to anyone else, but all my shame, all my fears, just vanished. You are faithful!

You are Love, You are Justice. You are King of kings, You are Washer of my feet. You are exalted Lord, You are Humbled Servant. You are the First, You are the Last. You are the Beginning, You are the End. You are the rider on donkey, You are the returner on horse. You are the Helper of the weak, You are the Shame of the strong. You are the healer of the sick, You are the disease of the Pharisees. You are the Judge, You are the Forgiver. You are treasured, You are despised. You are exalted, You are humiliated. You are the Holder of all things together, You are the Turner of family against family. You are The Giver of Life, You are The Conqueror of Death. You are the King of many crowns, You are the Beaten of many thorns. You are the Lion of Judah, You are the Lamb without blemish. You are raised to the Heaven, You are hung on the Cross. You are God, You are Man. You are EVERYTHING. You are my Saviour. You are my Lord. You are my Friend. You are ...

I didn't get why Christians can't live without God. Like I used to think, God is for weak arses. But to this very point, I realised I can't live without God. I used to live around friends. I live to please myself. Nothing matters more than being happy. The moment I believed, I had been growing, I craved for Him, hunger for Him. If He is taken away from me, it's gonna be terrifying, I lose my direction, my passion and my hope. I find no purpose in life anymore, for my life is to love Him and pursue Him. Oh God, take not Yourself away from me, for I need You, I want You and I love You. Thank You for being ever faithful, ever strong. Break me if You have to, I want to grow. If I ever stop growing, I'll be like a stagnant tree, better off thrown into fire and burned. There's no more purpose in me. Teach me constantly, and make me constantly teachable. Help me to be faithful, as unfaithful as I am. This is me, please take me as I am and make me into what Yo...

If I wake up early, one thing I like to do is to join my grandmother for a breakfast. I need not to sit with her, I just need to pass by, and greet her. You should look at her face. The joy is written in her face whenever she sees me. She is just so proud of me, of all grandchildren, I boldly claim, I made her proud. I'm the one who would publicly hug her, kiss her and she can brag about. Enjoy the joy she has when she starts telling her friends how much I'm a blessing to her. I often just smile and say:" That's because I'm well fed every night!" She cooks my dinner on weekdays by the way. This morning as I was reversing my car and get on my way to church. Met her again. I love the smile that immediately grew wide. I wind down the window and greeted her. Her friend walking alongside her, I think she's talking about me. My grandmother is proud of me almost everything, but just one thing. I AM A CHRISTIAN. That, might be her greatest shame. I don't know ...