It's not about me!!!

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I think I lost the purpose of writing this. It's always about mememememememe! When did my redeemed life become a life livin for myself.

I'm writing this for the glory of God, not me! In my posts I often posture myself as a man of faith. But i really am not!

I don't think I trust God enough. Yea, I don't. Because as I was singing "when I survey the cross", I was thinking about my Earthly father. I thought of the kinda love he has for me yet he doesn't wanna tell me. I was touched when he did not even think twice to offer to take a day off and willing to drive me all the way to Penang. Then I think about the time when he was on his sick bed. I think about the moment he rejected me so strongly when I first shared the Gospel with him. You know, God, I actually stopped believing that he could be saved and to come and witness my baptism. Then on, I never talked about the Gospel with him anymore. I'm just thinking, do I love my father enough to give him the best thing God has given me? cz when i look upon the cross, Christ showed me the greatest love ever and I nvr show that to my father.

I'm afraid. The fact that I'm leaving my family and all that I love for the sake of Christ, it actually breaks my heart. I'm afraid. So afraid to the realization I had been trust only myself not God to make that salvation possible to my family. That's why I'm afraid. Because it's always abt me I and myself. Not God.

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