God Still Remains

It's been exactly 3 months and 4 days since I started work. Well truthfully, I probably only worked for about two and a half months because of that two-week long Christmas holiday. Nonetheless, by God's wonderful grace I have walked through a quarter of a year. There is so much I've learn about life, about myself and about God. This post intends to record the things that I have learned.

I have learned to delay gratification

Starting my working life away from home means I have to build my life from scratch. With a limited budget to spend, I realise cannot be as financially irresponsible as I have used to be. I have learned to distinguish my needs and my desires. In order to fulfill my needs, I must put on hold whatever luxury that I cannot afford to have. This is something really difficult but it really taught me to have self-control and to be long-suffering. I must remind myself that the temporal pain of not gratifying myself now is to gain a greater, longer lasting comfort in the future.

I have learned that real success takes one step at a time

While we may admire the success of Mark Zuckerberg and the sort for their early success, most life takes time to build. But our heart desires to have what our parents are able to provide, without remembering that our parents took time to build our family to stability too.

There is no instant success. There's only effort and perseverance. One step at a time.

Life was easy because there was my mother

It wasn't until that I've started paying my own bill, that I've realised that my life was care-free only because my mom was doing all the work without saying a word. She took care of my insurance, my bank account, my road tax, my groceries, my phone bills, my utility bills, my savings, even my underwear. It was when I have decided that I should be paying my own bill, I realised that it isn't easy to raise me.

My mom used to make a lot of decisions for me, and I took it for granted. As decisive as I thought I am, I constantly make phone calls to my mother to consult on my expenses. I even needed her to tell me what I should be buying to furnish my new rented house.

Today, I am paying my own bills, but each time I pay them, I think about my mom and I would cry. Even though it's my 5th year away from home now, I can't help but miss my mom even more.

Well, maybe I cried because it is really painful to see money slipping out of your hands. Haha!

Humans are forgetful creatures

Perhaps the biggest temptation of secular working life is to forget that God is our Provider. Even as I frantically work to make ends meet, I find myself constantly worrying whether I have enough to spend for the month; whether I have saved enough for my first house; whether I have the budget to buy a refrigerator; whether I can suffer another massive maintenance for my car; and etc. I drown myself in constant worry, I forget that my God still provides. I forget that my God is a powerful God who created the world by speaking forth words. I forget that my God loves me and cares for me so much, that He gave His only son. Humans have short-term memory: we quickly forget the goodness of God and allow circumstances to overshadow our mighty God.

Preparing spiritual foundation during University time is essential

One thing I am thankful for, is the fact that God prepared me well in my spiritual foundation. My university years thought me to be rooted in His Word, to find strength in Him, to find space to reflect and to rest, to know that He is in control, to remember that in my sufferings, He is my Hope and Strength. Many young-"er" Christians may neglect this area of development even as they strive to be the best academically, but without a strong spiritual foundation to engage the real secular working world, one would easily fall into enemy's trap. Upon the start of our working life, spiritual disciplines become harder to abide and spiritual development becomes even more undesirable.

Therefore my advice to my university juniors, spend more time developing your relationship with God than on your academic books. A good CGPA can take you so far, but God can take you to eternity.

I can easily die from isolation

I have recently moved into my new rented house in Simpang Ampat and I have spent my first week there in the house alone. Isolation can do weird things to me. I become desperate for connection and I can't stand the silence. Human relation and connection is important to me. It's my soul's energy. I need to feel the presence of a human (or an animated life-form). Now, the only presence I felt was the imaginary ghost that comes and pull my legs when I sleep at night. Living alone is seriously not fun at all, no matter how big and luxurious your house is.

So please, come visit me at Bandar Tasik Mutiara. PLEASE I BEG YOU!

The church is the most important community for all working believers

Joining Li Xin Baptist Church may be the best decisions I have made. The church is small but has a strong sense of communion despite the fact that most of us are "sojourners" from other states. The church is my encouragement and support. They drive me in the journey of faith and they walk with me through every pain and recovery. They are my joy and my reason to continue to labour. They are the finger that constantly point me back to God. When we begin our working life, never stop going to church. We all need it.

Tithes and offering are painful but essential

The more you earn, the greater the pain. Trust me! To see 10% going out of your bank account is never easy. You'll start calculating how much more thing you can buy for the month with that 10%. My parents and friends call me a fool to give. But if being a fool means honoring and glorifying God, I'd rather be a fool. There is pain in giving, but I'm asking God to expand in me the joy that outweighs all pain, that 10% of my salary cannot buy.

Tithing reminds me that no temporal possession belongs to me. The sustenance of my life is entirely from the Lord. Without the Lord's providence, I would labor in vain without fruit. To give 10% back to Him is to enjoy 90% of His gift and a 100% of His grace. That, is tithing to me.

I am completely helpless in many things

Grandma isn't really cooperating well in her treatment. She refuses to listen to my mom, aunts and uncles. She practically gave up all therapy and willfully go against all that her children do for her. Her stubbornness is giving a hard time for all our family members. She insists to discharge and go home, yet she doesn't make it easy for us to care for her at home. My aunts are exhausted, my uncles are frustrated and my mom is agitated. Just yesterday, a heated debate finally sparked off with all her children on one side and she on the other. My mom will collapse real soon if she continues to care for my stubborn grandma.

With all this in my knowledge, there is nothing within my power to do. I am far away from home, and this is not a problem that my generation is allowed to handle. Yet it affected me, emotionally. I care for my mom and I miss her, so much so I care for my grandma, whom I really miss too. All I can do is to cry helplessly hoping God will step in and take care of things.

In times like this, I am called to pray: to rely on God, whom I trust to have the power to steer for good to those who believe in Him.

God still remains

Even while life may be difficult and ever-changing, my God still remains. He remains to be faithful, and He never cease to care for me. He walks before me, behind me and over me. Every step of the way, He is by my side. He is Emmanuel, God with us. He is the Alpha and Omega, The beginning and the end of my faith and my life story. And in Him alone I shall entrust my eternity, because when all things may perish, God still remains.

In that day this song will be sung in the land of Judah:
“We have a strong city;
he sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks.
Open the gates,
that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in.
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. 

Isaiah 26:1-4

God's Character, My Encounter.