Subtle Intimacy
Weeks ago I was wondering what God wants to do with my life. I was so, so far away from Him I couldn't discern. So I started a journey of darkness to seek the intimacy with Him.
I set apart my plannings and tasks under my responsibility related to CF, I decided not to touch a CF matter. I know I've done enough for CF to say I can let it go if it hinders me from God. I decided to start reading my Bible and I shall start from the Book of Job. I decided to cancel my planned mission to Lenggong and stayed home. I decided to talk to God whenever and wherever I can. I decided to disregard my intended sermon for Kajang Baptist Fellowship "Why Should We Give Thanks" and wait for God to speak to me. I decided to eagerly listen and receive from Connexion Leaders' Summit 2013 at Kampar.
As I take time to meditate and read His Word, it is often compelling to journal down what I felt. During the Connexion Leaders' Summit, it was so compelling to me to write down things I want to respond about Job that I couldn't sleep. Osama, Ezekiel and Alvin were sleeping soundly in the hotel, I stay up by the table light to scribble. I write about 30 lines I felt I really need a rest, not because I feel sleepy, but because I really need it for the next day. My heart was pumping so fast and excited I couldn't sleep, so I prayed: "God, I know I am compelled to write this down, but I really need the rest. I want to experience what does it mean to rest in You and let You work while I'm not. Would You give me a peace of mind to trust Your miracles and Your work while I was sleeping? I'm not sleepy but I desperately need to rest. I trust in You, Lord, please help me to trust You. Would You help me to keep these things in mind so I can write it down still tomorrow?" That night, it took time but I slept unusually well.
Few days before the sermon, I've got my sermon ready as well as the slides. There after I spent most of my prayer time praying for the sermon. I kinda stop read Job at chapter 28. I shared my sermon outline with Matthew Wong (LXBC pastor, who agreed to be my preaching mentor), Uncle Rodney (as usual my wise, ol' teacher) and Uncle Jacky (my critical and sometimes harsh cell group leader).
Pastor Matthew's comment was: "i think you are clear in what you want to bring out." He even suggested http://www.sermonillustrations.com/ to me for some (DUH!) sermon illustrations.
Uncle Rodney wanted to make sure what I deliver is simple yet concise, so he asked me questions that prompts me to focus on some of the important points of the sermon. He summarized his comments with "ok that is good and that is also important.people need a handle so to speak that they can grab on to and take the sermonhome wiht them. so good."
Uncle Jacky was on the other hand more concern about my walk with God. I'm glad he always keep me on my toes.
~~~
The night before, I turned off my computer at about 11pm. I wanted to spend an hour in silence with God. My lips hurt from the ulcer, I felt reluctant to speak. Each gesture on my lips is like tearing a piece of my flesh. How am I supposed to speak tomorrow? But still, in God I trust. It's not by my strength that I shall speak, but by His strength.
I said I wanna spend an hour with Him, the heart is willing but the body is weak, I fell asleep in 15min. That night, it was so much peace, I woke up in the middle of the night, not even thinking about my sermon the very same morning. I merely set my alarm and head back to sleep.
This morning, I woke up at 7:30am to get myself ready. Seriously I thought service starts at 9.30am. I sat in front of the computer at 8am, chatting up Kai Seng. HAHAHA then I realise service start at 9am. I turned off my computer and rushed to pick up Arash. Thank God, I made it to KBF at 9.04am. I saw the relief on Ezekiel and Krystle's faces.
During worship, I was reminded of something. DUDE! I forgot my sermon slides! My heart pumps like mad, my mind went blank. I sat down and I panicked. I realised I was holding my Bible in hand, so I turned to Psalm 46 and I read verse 1-3, 10-11. I calmed myself down and I realise, I don't need slides to preach. Paul didn't need it, Jesus didn't need it either. All I need is Him and His Word.
I was nervous even up to the pulpit (maybe not pulpit, more like microphone with music stand) and so I began my sermon by reading Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11.
~~~
I would never know, my intimacy with the Lord would bear such abundant fruit. Agnes, at her 60's, was amazed by the knowledge of the word, that many older preacher might find it difficult to preach the Book of Job, yet here I am at my 22. Many were encouraged. Arash was astonished that even though there were so many Bible verses that I quoted, they seems to fit together perfectly. I don't know how to respond to them all, all I could do is, "All glory to God!" I couldn't take ONE credit away from Him, because truth be told, I cannot boast in how much I know about the Book of Job, I'm only at chapter 28!
At the very time I take my first bite on my brunch, a stinging pain on my lips. I was reminded of my ulcer. Seriously, it did not hurt one bit at all while I was preaching. O me of little faith, I even brought a small bottle of Listerine with me to ease my pain.
~~~
I feel awkward because I'm a Chinese. We are just not culturally familiar with praises and encouragement. Next time around, I shall say "Thank you!" "You are too kind!" "I thank God for giving me the opportunity to share what little I know."
But what's more important to me, I learn, it's not me who does the work, I'm merely at instrument. As powerless as I am, He still used me. I am privileged and honored to have been His mouthpiece and instrument. O how He loves me. All praises, and glory, shall be to Him and Him alone!
~~~
The sermon outline may be read from:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZYjV47g9JZZRnb8icM9q2ter0m-NBk64gRICY70qu4U/edit
The sermon slides may be read from:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Byqe-JE1fBIeX29NTHNlWkRLdGc/edit
Use the slides to guide you through Bible verses and extract important points.
I set apart my plannings and tasks under my responsibility related to CF, I decided not to touch a CF matter. I know I've done enough for CF to say I can let it go if it hinders me from God. I decided to start reading my Bible and I shall start from the Book of Job. I decided to cancel my planned mission to Lenggong and stayed home. I decided to talk to God whenever and wherever I can. I decided to disregard my intended sermon for Kajang Baptist Fellowship "Why Should We Give Thanks" and wait for God to speak to me. I decided to eagerly listen and receive from Connexion Leaders' Summit 2013 at Kampar.
As I take time to meditate and read His Word, it is often compelling to journal down what I felt. During the Connexion Leaders' Summit, it was so compelling to me to write down things I want to respond about Job that I couldn't sleep. Osama, Ezekiel and Alvin were sleeping soundly in the hotel, I stay up by the table light to scribble. I write about 30 lines I felt I really need a rest, not because I feel sleepy, but because I really need it for the next day. My heart was pumping so fast and excited I couldn't sleep, so I prayed: "God, I know I am compelled to write this down, but I really need the rest. I want to experience what does it mean to rest in You and let You work while I'm not. Would You give me a peace of mind to trust Your miracles and Your work while I was sleeping? I'm not sleepy but I desperately need to rest. I trust in You, Lord, please help me to trust You. Would You help me to keep these things in mind so I can write it down still tomorrow?" That night, it took time but I slept unusually well.
Few days before the sermon, I've got my sermon ready as well as the slides. There after I spent most of my prayer time praying for the sermon. I kinda stop read Job at chapter 28. I shared my sermon outline with Matthew Wong (LXBC pastor, who agreed to be my preaching mentor), Uncle Rodney (as usual my wise, ol' teacher) and Uncle Jacky (my critical and sometimes harsh cell group leader).
Pastor Matthew's comment was: "i think you are clear in what you want to bring out." He even suggested http://www.sermonillustrations.com/ to me for some (DUH!) sermon illustrations.
Uncle Rodney wanted to make sure what I deliver is simple yet concise, so he asked me questions that prompts me to focus on some of the important points of the sermon. He summarized his comments with "ok that is good and that is also important.people need a handle so to speak that they can grab on to and take the sermonhome wiht them. so good."
Uncle Jacky was on the other hand more concern about my walk with God. I'm glad he always keep me on my toes.
~~~
The night before, I turned off my computer at about 11pm. I wanted to spend an hour in silence with God. My lips hurt from the ulcer, I felt reluctant to speak. Each gesture on my lips is like tearing a piece of my flesh. How am I supposed to speak tomorrow? But still, in God I trust. It's not by my strength that I shall speak, but by His strength.
I said I wanna spend an hour with Him, the heart is willing but the body is weak, I fell asleep in 15min. That night, it was so much peace, I woke up in the middle of the night, not even thinking about my sermon the very same morning. I merely set my alarm and head back to sleep.
This morning, I woke up at 7:30am to get myself ready. Seriously I thought service starts at 9.30am. I sat in front of the computer at 8am, chatting up Kai Seng. HAHAHA then I realise service start at 9am. I turned off my computer and rushed to pick up Arash. Thank God, I made it to KBF at 9.04am. I saw the relief on Ezekiel and Krystle's faces.
During worship, I was reminded of something. DUDE! I forgot my sermon slides! My heart pumps like mad, my mind went blank. I sat down and I panicked. I realised I was holding my Bible in hand, so I turned to Psalm 46 and I read verse 1-3, 10-11. I calmed myself down and I realise, I don't need slides to preach. Paul didn't need it, Jesus didn't need it either. All I need is Him and His Word.
I was nervous even up to the pulpit (maybe not pulpit, more like microphone with music stand) and so I began my sermon by reading Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11.
~~~
I would never know, my intimacy with the Lord would bear such abundant fruit. Agnes, at her 60's, was amazed by the knowledge of the word, that many older preacher might find it difficult to preach the Book of Job, yet here I am at my 22. Many were encouraged. Arash was astonished that even though there were so many Bible verses that I quoted, they seems to fit together perfectly. I don't know how to respond to them all, all I could do is, "All glory to God!" I couldn't take ONE credit away from Him, because truth be told, I cannot boast in how much I know about the Book of Job, I'm only at chapter 28!
At the very time I take my first bite on my brunch, a stinging pain on my lips. I was reminded of my ulcer. Seriously, it did not hurt one bit at all while I was preaching. O me of little faith, I even brought a small bottle of Listerine with me to ease my pain.
~~~
I feel awkward because I'm a Chinese. We are just not culturally familiar with praises and encouragement. Next time around, I shall say "Thank you!" "You are too kind!" "I thank God for giving me the opportunity to share what little I know."
But what's more important to me, I learn, it's not me who does the work, I'm merely at instrument. As powerless as I am, He still used me. I am privileged and honored to have been His mouthpiece and instrument. O how He loves me. All praises, and glory, shall be to Him and Him alone!
~~~
The sermon outline may be read from:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZYjV47g9JZZRnb8icM9q2ter0m-NBk64gRICY70qu4U/edit
The sermon slides may be read from:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0Byqe-JE1fBIeX29NTHNlWkRLdGc/edit
Use the slides to guide you through Bible verses and extract important points.
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