Journey to Canaanland

So I decided to take on this journey on foot to Canaanland Bookstore about 2km from home. I really want to experience for once again walking and journeying with God. I used to have so much joy walking home with the Lord I when I first accepted Christ. I would just keep talking to Him along the way and I would feel so secured and loved by Him. I want to experience that again.

I wasn't suppose to have a direction. All my life I always have a place to go with a direction, without it I wouldn't leave my home at all. And having a direction and destination, I would put my whole focus getting there. I would not stop to window shop nor make a detour to explore something entirely out of my plan. If I truly want God to lead me, then I shouldn't have one. I shouldn't even have enough money in my wallet.

But yet I'm so abundantly secured. I've got a backpack with a bottle of water, an extra T-shirt, a sunblock and face-towel in it. I have about RM100 in my wallet and 2 debit cards with money in my bank account. I'm wearing my running shoes and a new pair of socks for the comfort of my feet. I even wear a pair of transition lenses to protect my eyes from sunlight. I am so blessed beyond words. I have a full stomach, a nice pair of jeans and a simple yet comfortable T-shirt on me. The question is, why do I still need God? I'm so safe and secured. I have no worries on this journey, not because God is with me but because I have all these things with me. Oh, did I mention that I have a half-charged 3rd Generation iPod Touch and GPS-equipped Samsung Galaxy Young Duos with 26% battery?

No wonder I feel so far away from Him. And the scariest thing is, I didn't actually realise this until today. These are things that actually hinders me from being intimate with Him. My objective, by His grace and His strength, to remove all things that hinders our intimacy. But how? It's painful and it's fearful!

Nevertheless, I took up the journey. Although it's a familiar neighbourhood, I still fear because I'm just so not used to travel by foot around the area. What would you expect of a city? Noisy, smoky and busy. But still I thank God for the weather. Even at about 10am, it was very cooling and cloudy, shaded all my way to D'Alamanda. I expected to soak my shirt in sweat from the heat, but instead, I merely wet a little.

Experience at Canaanland was an exciting one. I was a little overwhelmed when the bookstore is stacked up with piles of Christian books. They even have a whole section of John Piper's collections.

The storekeeper's name is Christine. She's a lady at her 50's, full of wisdom and definitely full of the Holy Spirit. I'm so blessed to have walked into the store. We talked for about an hour. I was pretty sure God wanted to speak to me through her.

She shared her preaching experience, paraphrasing her, she said instead of keep an outline of preaching points from previous sermons, we need to let the Holy Spirit to tell us what He really wants to speak to the congregation. As preachers, we should not take a sermon lightly. We do not know in what way God wants to speak just to that one person that very day. Hence, we should not assume that a topic of a sermon would be applicable every Sunday.

But what struck me most was, she said even before I can preach, I need to get right with God myself first. I can't preach if my life and relationship with Him isn't right. Like Uncle Jacky said, I would not be practising what I preach, where I would be in serious paradox myself.

I guess my immediate priority right now is to get right with God. Nothing else matters, not even the preaching this coming 3 February at Kajang Baptist Fellowship. If I don't get it right with God first, I don't care if I have nothing to say to the congregation. I will panic for sure, but I want God. I know He'll come through!

So, that gives me 2 weeks to set things right. I'll be going for Connexion Student Leaders Retreat in 2 days. I will go with nothing but with eager expectation for God to speak to me.

God, I wanna listen to Your Words.

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