It Is Not Really My Will

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=/ how can I put them in words? O God, the power You put in me, the capability that many would envy, sometimes I wish I do not possess them.

So many people are putting their hopes and expectation on me, and what I fear, I'm only mere human who needs You so badly, will fail and disappoint them.

I'm not gonna pretend I'm tough and invincible, simply because I'm not. I wish You did not choose me to be capable of bearing the cross and drink that cup. It is simply not my will to do anything.

But my will is not my own Lord. Even Jesus, who was going to be prosecuted, to be nailed onto the cross, submitted to Your will. He asked for that cup to be removed from Him, yet He drank it all. [Luke 22:42, Matthew 26:42] I'm in a better state than He was, I guess I have no reason to run away from this responsibility You put in me even before I was born.

I'm proud to say You are my Lord, I wanna make you proud of me as You would to many other people. Hence, it is not really my will, but Your will, be done.

All the capabilities You put in me, I give it all back to You, to serve You, to praise You, to glorify You, even if it costs me to turn away from my family, my friends and my own comfortable home.

God, may Your will be done, not mine.

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