More Love, More Forgiveness

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Welcome to 2017! Wonderful. Took me 3 weeks to finally decide to write something. The thing about working-adulthood is that there is no such sectioned schedule on the yearly planner where there is a short season of work and another short season of rest and time-with-myself. It was much easier during my university years because there is a semester and then a semester break. As working adult, it's just a continuous season of routine work and issues to handle. It is definitely a challenge to find time to quiet down and process our thoughts. I simply thank God for nurturing in me this little habit since my years in university to process my thoughts through writing.
Goldilocks Young Adult CG first Bible Study of 2017
On My Honor
I think I may have consciously chose to put myself in a position when I will be constantly struggling with frustrations and angers. I have finally decided to submit my long overdue membership application to Li Xin Baptist Church, after letting the application form to sit in my bag for more than 2 months. This is a declaration of my commitment, even though I am a guy who wants nothing to do with formal declaration of my commitment because when I do that, I am putting my Scout's Honor at stake. Scout's Law No. 1: A Scout's honor is to be trusted.

It also marks the beginning of another stage of growth where I will constantly struggle with frustrations and my pride, especially when working with imperfect people like myself. It is particularly difficult for me to be the youngest serving member of the Church Committee. It is simply difficult to progress when I constantly think that the older member of the committee are a stubborn roadblock that wouldn't budge in their attitude and in the way they work and think. I was particularly angry when the elected committee members disagree with my proposals to offer an increase in our love offering to our invited speakers.
I was angry because I felt that we have not been generous towards God's servants and have ill-treated many of them. Even as I was serving in a student Christian Fellowship, we were able to give twice to thrice as much even though we have little. I was angry because I felt we have taken God's servants for granted. God's servants are called to serve God, not us, who are in the same lowly position before God. I was simply angry because they didn't see what I saw.

Perhaps the only pleasant thing about being me is that anger comes and goes quickly (self-praise is international disgrace). A couple of hours later I would have forgotten what I was angry about. Even as my anger subsides, I looked at the flip-side of the situation. I saw this same group of people whom I think are in my way, are also the same group of people who loves God and dedicated their time and effort to serve God. The only difference, is that we love God in different way. It was perhaps prideful for me to think that I possess that one and only right way to love God and His servants.

There will be more situations like this in the future, but I also believe that this is where I will need God desperately to lead me, or even drag me through this journey of colliding with imperfections in my brothers and sisters. This will be a journey where I will have to learn to forgive even more, to love even more, to look at Christ even more. There will be angers, there will be frustrations, there will be conflicts, but we are called to "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8)

 Take My Heart and Let It Be
This heart, O Lord, is hard. It is selfish, it refuses to love. It is stubborn, it refuses to empathize. So take it Lord, and make it Yours. Break it, mold it, mend it, that my heart may break for what breaks Yours; that my spirit may obey You even when it is the hardest to; that my soul may love even those whom I find it hard to love. May my body, soul and spirit find complete rest in You and You alone.
A Small Twist in My Story
In the last 2 years of writing this blog, I have not ceased to end it with "God's Character, My Encounter." 2 years of witnessing God leading me from one encounter with Him to another, while my character was constantly shaped by His character and His grace. By leaving this ending behind along with 2016, I am not saying that His character is no longer relevant, but on the contrary, I believe that this will be a life-long journey of being molded into His character until the day I am called to meet Him face to face.

Keeping that in mind, God also made it in clarity to me, that the rest of my journey with Him requires me to be not just in love with Him, but also to be in love with His people. And to continue on this journey, Christ must be the center of everything. Because in Him there is perfect, sacrificial love for every undeserving man that flows from Calvary. In Him, His sons and daughters will be united and held together.

Love • Christ • Unity 

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