I Will Be Exalted

God is our refuge and strength,
   a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
   though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
   though the mountains tremble at its swelling.    Selah
“Be still, and know that I am God.
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.    Selah  

Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11

Psalm 46 is my anchor psalm whenever I am faced with nervousness and failure. I religiously recite this portion of the psalm every time before I take the pulpit. There are also moments in my service to the Lord that I needed this psalm to keep me forward and fearless.

Indeed God has been my refuge and strength throughout my 7 gracious years of journey with Him. He has brought me through various hardships and sweetness, experiences and encounters, desperation and abundance. I encountered Him most, particularly through several mission trips.

About a year ago, I was honored to be called as part of a mission team to a wonderful country named Timor-Leste, or some may know them as East Timor. This 12 years old country is building and rising up as a nation as it recovers from its many years of political and independence struggle from the hands of the Indonesians several decades ago.

The mission trip to Timor-Leste was particularly a memorable one because it sums up all my mission experiences. It gave a bigger and clearer picture of what God had been doing in my journey with Him through all the mission trips I went to. I have learn this about God: He is a "show-off".

Now I don't mean show-off in a bad way, but through the mission trips I had with Him, He has never cease to show his power to me. He brought me to Timor-Leste, not so much because He wants  me to do some mission work for Him, but rather showing me what He has done and is doing for that place. And there is not one moment that I am not astonished and in awe.

In my service to Him, there are countless moments of frustrations and confusions. It often frustrates me because very often the hard work that I put into preparing a place for believers to gather and worship does not reciprocate. I am frustrated because many Christian students see their academic bigger and tougher than our God. I am frustrated because people don't see God the way I see Him: great, mighty, powerful, loving and worthy of praises and all my worship. I am frustrated because I find myself powerless and helpless to exalt His Name.

View from Cristo Rae, Statue of Jesus Christ at Dili, Timor-Leste

In Timor-Leste, on the cape of Cristo Rae, overseeing the town of Dili, I had a great moment of serenity and reflection, and I heard God speaking to me through the Scripture:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9(a)

I try my utmost best to serve Him in attempt to exalt Him and make Him known, yet in my failure I find myself dissatisfied and defeated. But truly, my biggest failure is failing to realise that it has always been God doing most of the work for me and Himself rather than me doing the work for Him.

I went to Timor-Leste, like most layman missionaries, with an ambition to do great things and leave great impact to the local people. When we were there, ALL OF US, the entire mission team, found ourselves helpless and powerless to actually do anything significant for the people. I struggled particularly hard because my identity has always been found upon my enormous capability to do ambitious things. 

Students of Youth Vision Center, a great inspiration for all of us.

Instead inspiring and impacting the people of Timor-Leste, we were inspired and greatly impacted by them. Their resilience, and passionate love for their struggling country put all of us to shame. Their beliefs in the little, little things they do for their country snuffed out our arrogant ambitions.

With an identity crisis, I knelt down in defeat. In my reflection I heard a gentle voice asking me: " Do you see what I can do for you? Do you see what I can do for my people? Do you see what I can do for Myself? I can do great and mighty things, because I can. I can build a nation even if you are not involve. I can build my church even if you are not lifting a finger. I can give you victory even when you fail to do anything."

I responded with tears: "God, I saw what You can do for Yourself. You can build this nation by Yourself. You can build USM KKJ CF for Yourself and by Yourself. You can build your church by Yourself and for Yourself. Even if I do not exist or that I'm powerless, You can do all things because You can! Lord, I only thank You that You involved me nonetheless. I thank You that You have brought me here to witness Your power and Your handiwork. I thank You that You loved me and chose me. Lord, I thank You!"

"So then, knowing who I AM, would you be still? Would you remain peaceful when you fail? Would you remain faithful? Because I will be exalted among the nations: I will make my own Name known; and I will be exalted in the earth. Would you be content even when no one responds to your call to worship? Would you remain faithful when you are humiliated with non-response? Would you surrender your desire, will and ambition to Me while I bring whomever I desire to you, that you may serve Me through them? Would you  be willing to do small and insignificant things for me, even if there is no glory waiting for you? Would you be still, and know that I am God?"

At the cape of Cristo Rae, I surrendered my will and ambition to Him: all my vision, desire and ambition for USM KKJ CF, and my upcoming term as Vice President of USM KKJ CF. Lord, I surrender.

STOMP Timor-Leste team 2013 (excluding the two handsome guys standing at the back)

~~~

It was a wonderful term as Vice President with Him. I have learned so much and grown so much in my walk with Him. I have learned to surrender to Him, and I have learned to patiently wait for Him and for others. I have learned to humbled myself in service to those whom God exalts. Thank You Lord!