It's hard to deal with my parents, it's harder to deal with myself. I don't being accused, even if I've done wrong. I've done wrong and I admitted it, then why say it as if I did not admit? My sister do mess up my things but I've never heard them say a single thing about it, even when she did not apologize. But, I'm sorry dad (I can't tell you in the face), I could have deal with this better. It is not easy to be the eldest son, never. I hate that I am the eldest son, for some reason. I hate that I'm the one everyone puts their hope. I hate to carry these responsibility. Sometimes I feel like bursting, but I put it on with a smile. Now I broke out finally, in tears, yet not even one comforting words. God just like to put me into such tight conditions.
Popular posts from this blog
That Sea Raging in Me
By
Joash
-
Even as I'm writing this, I am so tempted to pretend everything is alright going on in me. As this may be read by people, a great part of me wants to pretend that everything is going alright. But if I am to be real, I need to stop pretending that I am okay with all that comes crashing on me. I think I've been told so many times that I should keep my anger and pride in check, I begin to believe that I have no right to feel angry. I must put up the kind, compassionate, gentle side of me even when within me, my anger rages. I'm supposed to swallow all the "unloading" people give me. Why does it feel like I am constantly the one who is at fault: that I'm not gentle enough, not respectful enough, not humble enough, not wise enough, not compassionate enough? That I must be gentle, be wise, be respectful, even when I am accused, wronged and misunderstood? Why? Do I have no right to express the first emotion that comes to me? Do I have no right to be hap...
November? No, Remember! Part 1
By
Joash
-
Time just dashed right before me, especially when I get so caught up in the actions in life, I hardly have time to stop, reflect and record.Yet so much has happened in the past 4 months: places I've traveled, people I've met, things I've experience. It's time to count all my blessings. 1. Sabah, Land Under the Wind I was extremely excited for this trip. While it may not be out of the country, but it's certainly my first vacation after nearly 2 years as a working adult. To be able to save enough to afford a getaway is by itself a great testimony of God's great abundance in my life. Sabah was unforgettable. Even trying to recall the experience 4 months ago was enough to captivate my heart again. Her beautiful nature, breath-taking scenery, wonderful people and generous food portion stole my heart for the place. Especially Kundasang, the doorway to Mount Kinabalu. I've lived in the city for far too long, the idea of waking up to painting-like moun...
im sory to hear bout this buddy....
ReplyDeleteiguess this is why rodney was speaking to you the other evening ha...
keeping you in prayer!!
remember,our God is a God of comfort...
i hope you will find comfort in His hand...
and im alwaz...
alwaz ready to talk to you ha...
isort of understand how it feels like...
being the only believer in a non-believer family...=)
KaiSeng
Hey Kai Seng,
ReplyDeleteThx for willing to listen. Yea, it's never easy. But no one told me it's gonna be easy, down here on Earth. That's why my hope is on Heaven where life is easy. =) Yup, pray for me as I pray for you. God bless!!!