*+_Praise † Grace_+*

Ecclesiates 2:1-11 (NLT)  I said to myself, “Come on, let’s try pleasure. Let’s look for the ‘good things’ in life.” But I found that this, too, was meaningless. So I said, “Laughter is silly. What good does it do to seek pleasure?” After much thought, I decided to cheer myself with wine. And while still seeking wisdom, I clutched at foolishness. In this way, I tried to experience the only happiness most people find during their brief life in this world. I also tried to find meaning by building huge homes for myself and by planting beautiful vineyards. I made gardens and parks, filling them with all kinds of fruit trees. I build reservoirs to collect the water to irrigate my many flourishing groves. I bought salves, both men and women, and other were born into my household. I also owned large herds and flocks, more than any of the kings who had lived in Jerusalem before me. I collected great sums of silver and gold, the treasure of many kings and provinces. I hired wonderful si

It's 8pm now and I'm still in office, writing this. I let March passed by without a post, I'm not gonna let April through easily, haha! It's been exactly 6 months and 20 days into my working life now. Much has changed, something remained. And that one thing that remained, is my constant worry for money. It is bad. It is manifesting in my daily complaints and mumbling. So much so that Pastor Matthew was reminding me not to do that. It was a wake-up call. Despite that constant self-reminder to remember that the Lord provides, it is my weakness and human nature to continue to worry about money. The struggle is real. It's like no matter how hard I budget, how hard I try to have self-control, it just doesn't work. The numbers never add-up. Every month, something has to pop-up and mess up my entire budget. It's also been 2 months that I have not pay my PTPTN loan. Let's just admit it: I am not as "spiritually strong" as I thought I am. F