*+_Praise † Grace_+*

Remember my previous posts? Where my faith in LORD is seriously shaken. Special thanks to God (and some God-sent-angels too) for restoring my faith which allows me to see things clearer. I was seriously shaken because some e-mail confused my faith and that fanatic religious part of me sealed me from seeing things clearly. What is religion?! A quote from "Kingdom of Heaven" starred by Orlando Bloom:" I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god . I have seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers . Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What god desires is here." As for me who was, for a moment, back to atheist, religion is a political weapon and tactics. To govern over people's mind. Isn't this every religion leader wants? With total govern over people's mind and loyalties, one can be strong...

I'm so tired! I've been no sleep for 24 hours! Life is hectic, responsible is heavy! Asst. Rover Mate, Asst. Senior Scouter, Senior Scouts School Event Representative, Class Monitor, Computer Club, Christian Fellowship, Chapel Committee, Pulau Sibu Camp, Combined Camp, Senior Penang Trip, Campfire, Form 6, Orientation, Study, Reports, Savings..... Argh! I'm going CRAZY! I WISH I COULD RUN AWAY FROM ALL THIS RUBBISH WEIGHTED ON MY SHOULDERS! UNABLE TO BREATHE, UNABLE TO MOVE! I WANNA RUN AWAY! I wanna sleep.....

I know there is no such thing as Atheist Christian. But as a Christian, though I'm not fit to be, can't feel His presence anymore. Is He away, or am I just absent in His presence?

You lighted the match on, It burst into fire. O Jesus, You transferred the fire onto the candle, From then on, I'm enlightened. But as I march on, I lost the desire. O Jesus, I need your cuddle, So I may not be frightened. Little candle light I am, A little breeze would kill my fire, No one is there to cover, This little candle light. I am far drifted away, For the little candle light in me start to grew smaller, Breeze of uncertain, storms of doubt, Cause this fire will not last any longer. Cuddle me up O Jesus, For in You my desire shall not die. P.s. I'm drifting away from the LORD now. Hectic life, lies, uncertainty, doubt struck me hard, again, again and again. Perhaps, they are right, You are lies told too often, it has become the "truth". You're always on my mind my LORD, again, I'm blinded to see all You have done for me. I don't want to go back to the old me, for I was nasty. You pulled me away from the old me, then You released me. Isn't it f...