+_Praise † Grace_+

Pick Me Up Piece by Piece Will Ya?!

2012-01-29T02:02:00.003+08:00

I forgot how much God loves me, and I forgot how God changed me, and now I'm all broken.

I Forgot.....Romance

2012-01-28T00:26:00.001+08:00

My heart just grew so cold, I can hardly feel love. I forgot.....Romance.

The Unreasonable Jesus

2012-01-02T09:23:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I feel Jesus must had been out of His mind.

Luke 6:27-31

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you."

I mean, come on! If someone takes my coat, I would grab it back and give him a handcuff to the police station. Anyone asks from me, I would ask why. If anyone takes what belongs to me, I'll demand it back in time. IF SOMEONE SLAPS ME ON ONE CHEEK, quoting Mrs. Ramani:" You won't know what came like a tornado, what slapped you, what landed here, all you know was 'O, Ramani was here!'"

This is just so outrageously unreasonable.

But, that's just Jesus right? This awesome Guy simply prayed for those who dragged Him towards the cross, the same guys who whipped Him and spitted at Him.

Crazy Jesus, what have I done that deserve Your prayers for me? What have I done that deserve Your immeasurable, unreasonable love for me? What have I done to be so blessed to have been found by You?

My Lord God Jesus, for this, empower me to love my enemies. I want to be like You.

In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

I'm Alive!

2011-12-31T09:17:00.005+08:00

Well, better said, I'm made alive.

Ephesians 2:1-3

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.

=) In fact I deserve wrath, I deserve punishment, I deserve condemnation. I followed the ways of this world, I followed the ways of my craving flesh and I let myself loose.

Ephesians 2:4-5

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

How do you define the word "mercy"? Mercy is "not giving what you deserve". How beautiful is His love for us that we are made alive in Him. His mercy for us, has forgiven everything transgression I've done. All the things I deserve, He has not given me, because of His great love!

Even more, by His grace we have been saved!

Grace, is giving what you don't deserve. I don't deserve love, I don't deserve mercy, I don't deserve life, yet out of His abundant love, by His grace I'm made alive!

EVEN MORE, by His grace, "God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6-7

SEATED WITH HIM? Can you imagine that glory?! I'm speechless. I mean....I don't know how to put it in words, but to sit with Him?! O God, I'm only a sinful man! Glory to You alone!

I have nothing to boast but Christ Jesus! His mercy and grace know no boundary. His love for me knows no pain nor the cross. His love found me and I cannot boast, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

I've done nothing to deserve this life, yet He's giving me every reason to take my next breath. "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." And for this very reason, I live!

Jesus is the Reason I live!

What else?! It's Christmas!!!

2011-12-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

It had been a tough week, real tough week. So much conflict, so much tension, so much anger, so much tear. But Lord, we made it through. Well, I thought I could post this saying "I made it through!" but I have to admit, there's not a moment I don't need You.

I was trying to tell You, "O God, would You let me just try to do this on my own?" Well, You did, and I failed miserably. Not expecting, again, I put my trust on the wrong person when I should trust You more. Then I reacted with frustration and anger. And then I realised, I'm the "Lot's wife" who looked back to who I was.

When I was frustrated, I always have this line, "If I were Mock Kar Wai that was not a Christian, I would have beaten the crap out of him.", "If I'm not a Christian, I would have..."

But, to look back at my expression of frustrations, what the heck was I doing? Why do I still miss the old wretched me? Why would I look back to the ugly me? I'm saved to be a new creation, I'm saved to be set free, I'm saved to look and continue to a bright future my God has for me.

God, I'm so sorry. I thought I could do this alone. And again, You proved me wrong, yet You taught me gently. I'm so sorry I looked back, and for a moment I wanted to deny You and let myself loose in control. All the more I thank You for Your Grace and Mercy which You forgave me through Jesus Christ, and all the more I thank You Holy Spirit for holding me back from sinning further.

I had so much to complain, but my God gave me the comfort I needed, there's nothing left but joy and praises.

So, hard time was over when my Engineering Drawing was handed up safely to the lecturer. Then comes the fun part, it's Christmas Celebration for the very first time in USM Engineering Campus. Can you believe it? It's Christmas in University, on my very first semester of my very first year.

Acting as King Herod, the evil king who killed baby 2 years old and younger...kekeke, the drama joined effort with coral speaking did a wonderful presentation. Shan Yee my fellow coursemate was impressed by the presentation and found it meaningful. We had a wonderful worship time, going round shaking hands with believers and non-believers alike. I guess USM KKJ had never been warmer than this, celebrating Christmas far from home yet felt just like home.

Oh did I mention we had 2 Muslim friends that joined us? Haha, praise be to God our Most High King who is able to do immeasurably more! Oh, did I also mentioned I was greeted by a sweet sweet news that one of my old friend, whom I least expected, accepted Christ Jesus as his Lord and Savior? This is my best Christmas present ever!

I was so excited, even after 2 sleepless nights, I was still awake, smiling!

Then, come the week filled with test. I forgot to mention before the Christmas Celebration, I failed my Electrical Technology test badly. I was the first to hand up, a half blank paper. Engineering Drawing test was awful, there were 5 separate parts to draw and to assemble, 2.5 hours is just not enough. But no point crying over the past, Engineering Practice was okay while it was majority objective theories. Thank God for Engineering Material, our lecturer couldn't stand our incompetence and gave us tips, which greatly helped me.

But the most awesome part comes after the last test, it's the beginning of Christmas Celebration! Right after the test, just in time, Isaac Koh rang my phone "Dude, wanna watch MI or not?" "YES PLEASE!!" And off I go for midnight show. MI was action packed until I forgot to breathe. You should see Joy's reaction, she was literally jumping off her seat and screaming!

When I reach safely back in campus, it was 3.45am. Alright, time for shooting stars. So I waited for roughly 15min for my course-mates walking sleepily out of their hostels. I was still excited, jumping around listening to some music. It was a cloudy night, so I wasn't expecting to see any shooting stars. But I enjoyed the silent night, well I always enjoy the moment of self-induced emotions and romance. Listening to "FM Static - Tonight" on my iPod, so many thoughts came to me. People I missed, people I loved and still do, well I so wanted to tell them how much I love them, but it just tells me one thing, that I'm still....confused.

One of those sleepless night I was talking to Joshua Johnson, USM KKJ Youth Worker. Am I facing some post-teenage crisis? You know, I used to be like really romantic and loud. I was never ashamed to go after any girl. But stepping foot into USM KKJ, things are different. I just feel so tired, so hurt, and so afraid to develop ANY closer friendship with girls, it's still okay for me to joke around, but it's just hard for me to invite anyone into my painful heart. I just wanna focus, on making myself a place in University, like I used to in MBS, but the yearn for someone close to my heart is killing me. And the screw up thing is, I refuse to take the initiative. I just want to wait, hoping for the one I wish would fall for me. I just wait, I don't even dare to pray and ask for the "her", I don't wanna move a finger.

JJ said, it's not at all a crisis, it's but a sign that I've grown mature, that I recognise that BGR isn't the only thing I have in life. He suggested that I should take a long break from it. Well, I pray and I hope this is true, because it's painful inside. I'm never an indecisive guy, when this is definitely my soft spot, be gentle.

So, emotions aside, I had a "home alone" Christmas Eve, nuff said. Don't wanna talk about it, CF people BO JIO watch Sherlock Holmes, EMO! I just copy my FB status:

Rescue call from Joy Yii,

Joash: Hello, JOY! SAVE ME!!!
Joy: Hello, is this Mr. Joash ah?
Joash: Yes!
Joy: Are you dead yet?!
Joash: Going to....I'm lying on my casket d!
Joy: Isit? Do you need CPR?!
Joash: BY ALL MEANS, but, any girl other than you la...*troll*
Joy: Ah, no need la. You just jump out of the window la.
Joash: *walk near the window thinking Joy's waiting me downstairs* Are you going to catch me ah?
Joy: Er, you look to my room hor, very dark right?! Yeah lo, I wont be there to catch you la, but if you jump out, the guard will find you soon and send you to the hospital.
Joash: SO SAD!!!
Joy: We'll come pick you up in 40min for DINNER!

*JOY to the world! Salvation is finally here this Christmas Eve!*

Merry Christmas!

Keke, it's Christmas! Waking up early and went to church. O Good Lord, this is the most AWESOME Christmas Celebration I had. Dancing with the Africans, ate non-stop, Secret Recipe + Anti-Social iPod iPhone Session, awesome FOREVER ALONE Christmas dinner with Joy, Andrea and Gilbert.

CF-ers are mostly from Christian family background. They shared their Christmas experiences with their parents. I envied, really. How I wish I came from a Christian family. But how many "how I wish" could I have? Well, I might not have been saved and lived up to my name if I came from there. I thank God for that, and suddenly, I miss my parents. How desperately I want them to know that I love them so so much EVERYDAY of my life.

Well, alright. Christmas ended and start of study week. O how I wish Christmas never ends. =)

kekeke, New Year's coming, BBQ is coming! We talk more emo stuff next time?

Anyway, thank you Lord for Your faithfulness. I beg for Your forgiveness for my unfaithfulness and incompetence. Jesus You are the One who completes me. This Christmas, I remember all the things You've done just to save one wretched me and I'm forever thankful for that. I give You honor and I give You praise. In Jesus' Name that I pray, Amen!

Sucking My Nose

2011-12-07T00:00:00.001+08:00

Ah, this is the night I miss my mother most. She called, yea she did, and I'm glad she did, because it reminds me that I still have a mother who loves me more than anything else, in the midst of my time-killer.

No lovely lady ever called me, telling me how much she loves me. I had 2 girlfriends and none of them did that. That sound pretty sad but one, my mother.

I love holding her hand and walk with her in shopping malls. I don't enjoy shopping, but I do enjoy walking with her. I enjoy being the odd grown-guy holding to his mum. If you would do that publicly, raise your hand and bravo to you!

Talking about her hands, it's always the very thing that saddens me, and the very thing that lift my grateful soul for a mother like this. When I was young I remember asking my mum:" Mi, why are your fingers crooked?" She told me it was like this when she was young. Well, she was 14 by then, I'm now 20, I don't see my fingers crooked. Hmm, you'll get what I mean.

I had a major flu last month I could barely breath. Mucus just stuck in my trachea and I could sneeze them out. O, that lovely lady would forcefully grab hold of me, put her big lips on my nose and stuck those greenish mucus away, if it was 15 years ago. Disgusting isn't it? I'm sure that's how she felt, but yet, why did she choose to do so? Well, if only my mind would comprehend the way she loves me.

After all, I'm only a son, for 20 years, I lived not knowing how to love her back. But one thing I know for sure, that the only commandment of the Ten Commandments that comes with a blessing, “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3

And for this, I will always love them!

Say Hi to Christmas

2011-12-05T00:30:00.001+08:00

O whao! It's December. Am I going to end this year with only 20++ post in my blog this year. Well, I always had reasons to write years before. The reason to write EVERY SINGLE DAY.

It had been a tough week. By the grace of God, I managed to pull through, but I'm going to pay the price for procrastination sooner or later. Calculus assignment, Engineering Drawing Project, tutorials and undone revisions. Seriously, I have none in my head. Am I going to just flung my very first semester?

Confucianism Talk was one tough event for me. Wonder if it's God's plan for me to work with them and learn humbly. To learn the very root of our Chinese Culture, and to love my very origin, the very wisdom of our fathers.

I do enjoy being MC, I can proudly claim no one enjoys being MC in USM as much as I am. But to be truthful I do not really have the very strength to be one. Seriously, don't think being MC is any simple task. It's a time consuming task, not mentioning it's mentally challenging as well. But the harsher the situation, the more I should rely on God.

Being a freshman isn't any easier than being a Form Six'er, the only difference is between freedom and priority management. I still have a tough time trying to get a hang of it.

Got to meet the only Chinese Language teacher in USM Engineering Campus. One fine, lovely lady with knowledge in her. We immediately became good friends as we share the same interest, theology and philosophy. She did thorough research on the 5 main religion in the world, and she maybe the best teacher I could get so far. She may not be saved, but I know God will lead the way.

But what saddens me are the stories of how she was being mistreated by the very Christians I'm proud of. I feel so sorry for her when she was trying to read the Holy Bible and her Christian roommate just slapped the Bible off her face. We often blame others for the ineffective evangelism, but sometimes it is us, the Christians who tear down the very work of God.

Lord Jesus, I come with a humble heart to learn, but I often will leap with pride when I'm granted a little success. Be harsh with me, just to humble me, and glorify You.

Well, gotta settle the drawing tomorrow once and for all. So many things crossing my mind and 5 working days per week just isn't enough, not mentioning movies and entertainments stole my time away. Flesh o flesh, when are you just about to let me free?

Lotsa funny and unfortunate stuff happened back in KL and my mum was laughing telling me all of them. O, how I miss home! Will be back during Chinese New Year, with a cheerful heart and a heavy decision. =) Shalom!

As He Pleases

2011-11-20T18:43:00.001+08:00

It's been a month ago since my last post. Well, being active in USM Engineering Campus did not bear me much fruit, except for fame, or notoriety. Still, what makes me passionate is God and Ultimate Frisbee.

However, condition now in USM Engineering Campus is totally different than being in the Cheras Dogpound. I can count with one hand how many knows the basic of playing this game, and I can count with one hand how many are passionate about it. And when people are not passionate and afraid to try new things, weather plays an important role to hinder their decisions to join and learn something new.

Therefore, I pray for a nice weather so that everyone may join. But for the past one month, without any post, at the same time, without any pick up on the field. It just rained every time I decide to play. And I started to question "Why do You like to do this?!"

I was reading Daniel last night, trying to fall asleep, not even know what I was reading. But what caught my eyes was the story about King Nebuchadnezzar who was given a dream of a tree and which was interpreted by Daniel. It was a harsh story when the vision came true. But the important lesson is how King Nebuchadnezzar responded to what happened to him.

Daniel 4:34-35
"At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.

His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation.
All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing.
He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth.
No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?” "

Whao, I didn't understand, but after today's game, and a long, quiet prayer on the field, it struck me. He holds the power, who am I to question? Who am I to hold back His hand? He does as He PLEASES.

I go, speechless, in shame of who I am and how I responded, was nothing higher than a non-believing King, who had all the reasons to challenge God, yet failed.

I believe some may go "What kind of God do as He PLEASES? Will He take one's life for fun? Change the climate for fun?"

Well I say, if God is an idiot, for fun He will. And the Bible does say God is foolish. LOL what?! God is foolish? Well, take a look at 1 Corinthians 1:25.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

Well, God is foolish. But even His foolishness is wiser than man's wisdom. And so, if God does as He pleases foolishly, it would be even wiser than us. And so, do we have the right to question Him, when He is wisest?

For every weather goes on the earth, it is His wisdom and His will as He pleases. Even if it's against what we desire doesn't mean God who loves us justly would fool us. He does as He pleases to love us, to teach us, to be wise.

And so the next time it rains when I'm on my way home, let me say, "God, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!" And know that everything is going to be ALRIGHT!!!

This Week? or This Weak?

2011-10-24T01:23:00.000+08:00

=) I really wish I have more time for my own and EMO for a little while. Because at least when I'm EMO, inspiration keeps pouring in.

In Uni, I can't stop enough to breath? It's just jam packed with tasks, especially when given responsibilities. But you know what, I enjoy it. I really do. It's way better than just lying on my bed thinking about nonsense and feeling drowsy all day long.

But still, you always hope for something else when you are in the midst of another.

Alright, just a little quick update on what I did in the past week:

Had Calculus test. O God, I left 2 questions blank and several questions stuck halfway.
Rushing my engineering drawing and stuck halfway. But thank God I found a shortcut to finish it.
Elected Secretary of Chinese Orchestra for Engineering Campus. LOL but I expected it it anyway. Though, I did not expect to be piled up with tasks and jobs. I kinda regret?!
Had CG supper last Thursday. Drove all the way to Autocity at Juru just to get to the nearest McD. How far? Erm, half an hour drive speeding 120km/h
I fell sick and still am! I don't like cough syrup? It tastes weird and it makes you drowsy. If you force yourself to stay awake, you feel like the body goes out of control! I don't like being ill! And I actually overslept because of cough syrup overdose. (Or did I refuse to wake up?) WAHAHA!
Went for a 3D2N Emcee Workshop at BUKIT MERAH LAKETOWN RESORT! It's a FREE ESCAPE!!! I had FREE buffet breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had FREE tickets to Waterpark. I was the only Chinese there, but you will not believe how warm and friendly Malays can be. I love making friends with them, and know what, ALL of them are better emcee than me. There I not only learned how to prepare myself to be an emcee, but also to learn to be humble. Dr. Azizah really helped me to developed a style of my own, pointed out my strength and my weakness. I will use this to serve God and for His glory.
IronHorse's official launching! You won't believe how sporting USM VIPs can be. At the event of the cycling tour, it started raining. But even as the committee was panicking what to do, the VIPs took the lead and cycled out. LOL I was busy entertaining secondary kids in the hall, but upon hearing this, I ran out and cheered for them. WOOHOO!!! Again, asked to become emcee all of the sudden again, but given my gift, thanks to God, it wasn't a tough challenge for me. Seniors were impressed, but I was just doing what I'm given to do, for the GLORY OF GOD and HIM ALONE!!!
Trying to readjust my mood and personality. I can't be myself here I don't understand why. It's just not MOCK KAR WAI here, it's just not JOASH enough. Where's that crazy JOASH?! I don't know, perhaps I need to catch my breath.
Overall a bad week. Things did not go the way I want them to, constantly challenging my faith. Got myself wet under the rain just to complete some tasks. Frankly I was kinda disappointed when I prayed for the rain to stop but it didn't. But God has His decision and will, perhaps I can't see what He can.
God has be faithful and I'm convinced He will continue to be. I just want my health back.

Anyway, if you read this, continue to pray for me. I've decided something important but I'm not gonna reveal it until I've announced this to people matters most to me. I'll be visiting Baptist Seminary in Penang this coming Wednesday, hopefully it can help me to make up my mind on Theology.

May Your will be done LORD!!!

Sentence of Death

2011-10-08T17:07:00.003+08:00

‎2 Corinthians 1:8-9 "...We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

Reflecting this week, must have been a week of conflict and despair. Happily I came and just within a month I completely lost my direction.

I've been running dry and again, I ran ahead of God. I run dry.

Screwed up so many things, screwed up my own mood, screwed up others' mood, screwed up every known relationships and friendship.

I felt like a jerk, I felt like a total hypocrite.

There's so many pressure, responsibilities, far beyond my ability to endure. But, how could I ever forget such simple instruction? "...not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

Finally I sat down and really think. Turning on BibleGateway and hit on 2 Corinthians 1, it immediately hits me into near breakdown of tears.

I just don't get it don't I?! Rely on God, rely on God. He is stronger than I am, rely on Him, "...and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." 2 Corinthians 1:10-11

God, I fall down in complete submission and humility. Forgive me for all the things I've screwed up and thinking that I could do this on my own. Forgive me for forgetting thus far I've come, it is You who enabled me. I know I'm the least of all sinners, but would Your mercy and grace lift my heads up and stand shameless before you. Make me white as snow, innocent as dove.

To everyone I've hurt, I am truly, truly sorry. I've fail, but if you would forgive me, I'll make it right! No, God will make it right for me.

In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

Where are they?

2011-09-18T13:50:00.001+08:00

Imagine the moment you stand before God and required to give an account of the one and only life He had entrusted you. What would you tell God that you have done with your life?

I got straight A, I graduated as PhD, I invented the next-big-thing, I spoke in world conference, I became a millionaire, my children are respected people in the society, I donated millions of dollars.

Imagine also, God answered, "So, where are they now?" and you stood in shame.

Invest wisely my dearest brothers and sisters!

In The Beginning!

2011-09-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

Hello people! Some quick update!

1. I got my laptop today! Thanks to mom and dad who drove all the way from KL and drop me extra stuffs which includes my laptop!
2. 2nd week of Uni Life just ended! Life had been great!
3. Orientation week was hectic, but nonetheless, fun! I barely had any sleep, but what more for the seniors who put up the whole week for us. Thanks!
4. The sketch which seniors asked us to perform in short notice was a success thanks to God who put everything in place!
5. Completed my first engineering drawing. So proud of it!
6. Went for "Majlis Appresiasi Siswa Lestari" at main campus yesterday. We put on a good show! And out of my expectation, I was awarded "Freshie Sporting: Program Minggu Siswa Lestari". My first recognition in USM. Thanks a million to God and God alone!
7. There's a Parit Buntar Baptist Center near campus where I can attend. I was stunned with their worship. They actually play Hokkien praise! LOL nonetheless, the church, though small, but the people are very welcoming and warm. =)
8. Joined my first Bible Study with USM Engineering Campus CF yesterday! Again, FUN!
9. Made friend with the canteen auntie's adorable children. They only want Angry Bird in my iPod though. HAHA!
10. God is great! Still the GREATEST!

Ciao people! Time to sleep! Night!

Penang Trip 2.1

2011-08-29T20:43:00.002+08:00

Home safely, but alone. =)

Gave myself a smile. I'm gonna live by my own very soon, so I should not fear it. But this 4D3N trip wasn't really pleasant. I don't know why. Maybe because it rain for all 4 days; maybe because that's where I'm gonna live for my next 4 years; maybe because I'm having too much food and my stomach can't stand it; maybe because I can't have you right beside me; or maybe, I'm starting to drift off my group of friend.

I just can't fit in anymore. Everything I do, I speak, I think is way too different, and I'm paying the price for it. I try very hard, but at the same time, I'm tired of holding on to it. So tired of being rejected, being taken for granted.

But I still refuse to let go, because it's been what defines me so far.

I don't know. It's a good trip after all, but I don't think I've enjoyed it max. It could be better.

Even the sky seems grey and dark, but I know I'm not alone, for God is always with me. It's just my desire for love, for touch. It's lust.

God, I long to be with you. If You will, take this desire away from me if You don't intend to complete me so soon. I should feel completed in You alone.

Nothing worries me, just don't let me go. Don't let my friends go, I love them. I love You.

Anthem Lights - Can't Get Over You

2011-08-23T23:08:00.003+08:00

I've never done this, never, to anyone on Earth. But Lord, You have definitely captured me. I can't explain to anyone else, but all my shame, all my fears, just vanished. You are faithful!

You Are

2011-08-15T04:11:00.002+08:00

You are Love,

You are Justice.

You are King of kings,

You are Washer of my feet.

You are exalted Lord,

You are Humbled Servant.

You are the First,

You are the Last.

You are the Beginning,

You are the End.

You are the rider on donkey,

You are the returner on horse.

You are the Helper of the weak,

You are the Shame of the strong.

You are the healer of the sick,

You are the disease of the Pharisees.

You are the Judge,

You are the Forgiver.

You are treasured,

You are despised.

You are exalted,

You are humiliated.

You are the Holder of all things together,

You are the Turner of family against family.

You are The Giver of Life,

You are The Conqueror of Death.

You are the King of many crowns,

You are the Beaten of many thorns.

You are the Lion of Judah,

You are the Lamb without blemish.

You are raised to the Heaven,

You are hung on the Cross.

You are God,

You are Man.

You are EVERYTHING.

You are my Saviour.

You are my Lord.

You are my Friend.

You are my Redeemer.

You are, indescribably beautiful, Jesus!

I Can't Live Without You

2011-08-13T18:32:00.002+08:00

I didn't get why Christians can't live without God. Like I used to think, God is for weak arses.

But to this very point, I realised I can't live without God.

I used to live around friends. I live to please myself. Nothing matters more than being happy.

The moment I believed, I had been growing, I craved for Him, hunger for Him. If He is taken away from me, it's gonna be terrifying, I lose my direction, my passion and my hope. I find no purpose in life anymore, for my life is to love Him and pursue Him.

Oh God, take not Yourself away from me, for I need You, I want You and I love You. Thank You for being ever faithful, ever strong. Break me if You have to, I want to grow. If I ever stop growing, I'll be like a stagnant tree, better off thrown into fire and burned. There's no more purpose in me. Teach me constantly, and make me constantly teachable.

Help me to be faithful, as unfaithful as I am. This is me, please take me as I am and make me into what You want me to be.

God, You will never leave me, for this I know. For You have forsaken Your Son, that I may never be forsaken. Oh that love, I cannot comprehend!

God, You will forever be faithful. As broken as I am, You will be faithful!

Thank You God, forever!

Morning Smiles

2011-08-08T00:27:00.002+08:00

If I wake up early, one thing I like to do is to join my grandmother for a breakfast. I need not to sit with her, I just need to pass by, and greet her.

You should look at her face. The joy is written in her face whenever she sees me. She is just so proud of me, of all grandchildren, I boldly claim, I made her proud. I'm the one who would publicly hug her, kiss her and she can brag about. Enjoy the joy she has when she starts telling her friends how much I'm a blessing to her.

I often just smile and say:" That's because I'm well fed every night!" She cooks my dinner on weekdays by the way.

This morning as I was reversing my car and get on my way to church. Met her again. I love the smile that immediately grew wide. I wind down the window and greeted her. Her friend walking alongside her, I think she's talking about me.

My grandmother is proud of me almost everything, but just one thing. I AM A CHRISTIAN.

That, might be her greatest shame. I don't know what will go on her friends' mind if she tells them that I'm a Christian and I'm on my way to church. Let me guess "What an unfaithful grandson!" "Who is going to offer after she died?!" "Hahaha! What a shame!"

I don't know, that's just my wild guess, but that's what I get when I told the uncles at the coffee shop that I'm a Christian. "Stupid!" is what I had been labeled once, harsh huh!

My grandmother would get really soft when she talks about me going church. (I don't know why she never said a thing when my aunt and uncle chants loudly EVERY MORNING at 6am to the point I could heard them even before I reach the block.)

I don't care. Really, I don't. Know why? It is because that I'm a Christian I love her ever more. I used to hate to walk alongside my grandmother. What?! A grown ass sticking to grandmother?! NO PLEASE?!

But this love that I have in this faith, compels me so strongly, NOTHING ELSE matters but my love for them. I may not be perfect, but my love for them, is the Perfect Love who died for us. I don't care what her friends may think of me, but one thing they would never have is that someone who would embrace them that everyone else is envious of.

Consider me a shame if you have to, for I'm "rejoicing because [I] had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name." (Acts 5:41) But the love I have for you, understand this, that I did not come from me but because He first loves me, I love you. And for this love I have for you, I mean everyone of you, I would die loving you, I will rejoice!

~~~~

Every time after updating this blog, I smile and praise God. Look at what God did to me, I'm a fanatic right now.

2 Corinthians 5:13
If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.

We Need It

2011-07-28T14:00:00.004+08:00

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be ALONE. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Do you realise how much we need to have fellowship with each other? We are "engineered" to constantly look for relationship with one another. That's why you often see emo status from me, LOL.

Jokes aside, there's one relationship we have to make right with, and all the rest will come into perspective. Unless we fix this ONE relationship, we will never have any right relationship.

As broken as this world is, so is our relationship. Whether friendship, romance, family or even discipleship. We often feel hurt, betrayed and disappointed. Does that mean that is no hope, no love and I shall have no faith?

And so we choose to run, to avoid, to hide. We fortify ourselves, not letting anyone in, so that no one can hurt us anymore. However, things just don't turn out as we expected. We grew weary watching against anyone who would come and hurt us. Why can't we get just ONE relationship right?

I don't think we are looking at the vital relationship to fix but fix those relatively unimportant ones. God saw that need for us to have relationships, He gave Adam, Eve. Don't you think God also see that need in us to have THE relationship far more important than anything else? He did, and so He gave up His own life to mend that relationship. Unless we have that relationship amended and be reconciled with Him, none of our other relationship can be right.

Don't you see why? If we can't love a God Who is almighty, loving, just, graceful, merciful, beautiful, fearsome, awesome, powerful, tireless, eternal, unending, capable, dependable, trustworthy, faithful, strong, wise, intelligent, gentle, firm, peaceful, well-known, kind, slow to anger, steadfast, creative (and the list goes on), do we expect ourselves to love another fallen man who is capable of being weak, fragile, disgusting, unloving, unbearable, dishonest, greedy, unjust, merciless, violent, volatile, ugly, powerless, limited, incapable, undependable, tricky, untrustworthy, unfaithful, foolish, proud, harsh, deadly, broken, hot-headed, quick to anger, quick to judge, evil (and the list goes on as I refuse to make myself look any worse.)?

Shatter is our relationships, broken is our souls, but God loves us like crazily and wants to fix that relationship so badly that He put His own life in our hands and let Himself be nailed to the tree. Loves us to the extend that death could not hold Him. Loves us to the extend that we may not perish!

Get that relationship right first, otherwise, stop dreaming about fixing the rest! Cause when you find God's love, no matter how much people hurt you, you'll consider it PURE JOY! and yes, pure JOY!

Dedicated to my greatest joy and sorrow, Joy Yoong.

It's not about me!!!

2011-07-23T18:09:00.002+08:00

I think I lost the purpose of writing this. It's always about mememememememe! When did my redeemed life become a life livin for myself.

I'm writing this for the glory of God, not me! In my posts I often posture myself as a man of faith. But i really am not!

I don't think I trust God enough. Yea, I don't. Because as I was singing "when I survey the cross", I was thinking about my Earthly father. I thought of the kinda love he has for me yet he doesn't wanna tell me. I was touched when he did not even think twice to offer to take a day off and willing to drive me all the way to Penang. Then I think about the time when he was on his sick bed. I think about the moment he rejected me so strongly when I first shared the Gospel with him. You know, God, I actually stopped believing that he could be saved and to come and witness my baptism. Then on, I never talked about the Gospel with him anymore. I'm just thinking, do I love my father enough to give him the best thing God has given me? cz when i look upon the cross, Christ showed me the greatest love ever and I nvr show that to my father.

I'm afraid. The fact that I'm leaving my family and all that I love for the sake of Christ, it actually breaks my heart. I'm afraid. So afraid to the realization I had been trust only myself not God to make that salvation possible to my family. That's why I'm afraid. Because it's always abt me I and myself. Not God.

Lest I Lose Sight of You

2011-07-04T21:34:00.004+08:00

I like the way I designed my blog header, where the words and the crucifixion fits perfectly for each other...

I was only less than 3 months old when I put that banner together on my newly learn Illustrator skill. But idea came to me so abundantly at the time, I kept working on it for two weeks. LOL

But the banner somehow means differently to me right now. When I was making the banner, the crucifixion meant so so much to me. The sense of awe in me just couldn't stopping praising Him with the same lips I used to curse Him.

But as I walk further and further away, this sense of awe slowly grew into stability where I kept struggling to keep my passion and my focus on Him. That blurry image of the crucifixion is like the image I try so hard to get it right in focus.

As I walk, some times I lose sight of Christ, thinking I need to depend on my own, working my way and my own holiness, hoping it would please God or glorify Him. But I just don't get it, that God does not really need me, and that I'm thinking too highly of myself. I lose sight, lose objective, and ultimately lose my purpose as I strife hard on my own to do His work. And so, fragile as I am, fall!

O God, Owl City sang it right in Galaxies.

Telescope, keep an eye on my only Hope, lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road.

Quarter 3!

2011-07-02T11:55:00.002+08:00

Ah! just check my archive, LOL already 2nd half of the year and yet I only have 12 posts. I'm so far behind.

Or maybe I had not really move forward for the pass 6 months. Done nothing really impressive. Filled myself up with my job, chasing my targets like a wind, spending money like nobody's business.

Still there's a obvious emptiness in me. I could have done greater things, for the greatest Being. Yet, for a life here on Earth small as a particle compared to my God greater than the clusters of galaxies, I worked like cow. Crap, I feel so stupid. Yet, I desire so much to just leave everything and venture out of my small world to do some work for my big God.

Haiz, it's easier said than done.

Easier said than done.

I'm 20! + 18 days...

2011-06-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

=) Was so busy, I can at last write on my blog 18 days after my actual birthday. Many things happened, (and many more things didn't) I just have no idea how to put them in place.

Some little updates:

I'm 20! (DUH!)
I'm still working! Like a snake...the lazy one...not the crafty one.
I'm still waiting for my iPod Touch.
I didn't tell her, and I wish it stays that way.
I got USM offer! Some course I have no idea at all.
I'm going USM!!! Some isolated place.

My birthday celebration was awesome! =) It was on a Friday, so yea, A HUGE JAM all the way home. Traffic, I mean, not fruit jam. But guess what, everyone was waiting for me! None has eaten until I came back, TOUCHED! And it was 8.45pm!

I got a real thick chocolate cake and I love it!

My uncle got married! My new aunt is now pregnant and I have 3 extra lovely cousins, ALL OF THE SUDDEN! I'm gonna have another one soon! LOL Surrounded by cousins, ah! I just love my family!

God is just AWESOME! Just indescribably AWESOME!

For before I was formed in my mother's womb He knew me, before I was born He set me apart! (Jeremiah 1:5)

I'm glad I was set apart and it's my joy to have suffer in Your name!

The Sweetest Thing

2011-05-28T14:48:00.003+08:00

I could clearly remember the first Chapel Retreat I ever joined. I was merely 1 year old in Christ but I could never forget the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

~~~

Chaplain:" God made us on the sixth day, so where we were before the sixth day?"

Just out of no where, I never thought I could have answered:" In His mind."

Hahaha! Isn't that sweet? And I uttered this in complete oblivion and yes, I told myself the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

Gen. 1:29-30

Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

God spent the first 5 days of existence to layout the perfect place to have us live in.

He spent the first day making the heaven and earth, separate day from night, so that we have Sunday.

He spent the second day separating water and knitting the sky, so that we have Monday.

He spent the third day separating water and land, planting trees and vegetations, so that we have Tuesday

He spent the fourth day making the Sun and the Moon, that they may govern the day and the night, "... let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years..." (Gen. 1:14). So that we may call it Wednesday.

He spent the fifth day making birds fly, teaching the fishes how to swim and tell them to multiply. So that we have Thursday.

He spent the sixth day prospering the land with wild animals that run freely all over the land. Then He said, lets get started, we have rested of one day and we are ready for the first chapter.

Haha! That's the beginning of the greatest love story ever written.

~~~

Everything was made good and well prepared for the main subject of His creations. That, we, the main subject of His love, may be feel loved.

We think God never expect us to fall, that He would watch us all fall and fail. That we would be so broken and so wretched.

Oh yes He does. Before [He] formed you in the womb [He] knew you, before you were born [He] set you apart. (Jeremiah 1:5)

But the whole story of Creation isn't about how wretched we are, solely because we are all made VERY GOOD! (Gen. 1:31) The whole story of Creation is a prelude to numerous chapters of perfect love!

~~~

The earth was formless. Just imagined if God create us on the first day itself. We all would have float in NOTHINGNESS. You could see how well planned our existence was?

What? You think He did not prepare for our fall? Oh yes He was well prepared. Otherwise, He couldn't have the best plot for the world's greatest love story. For "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13)

Our brokenness, our emptiness, our failure, is not the main plot of the story, for we are not the protagonists, but Christ Jesus. His death is the climax, His resurrection is the conflict.

Oh my! We're living a love story?

~~~

Remember not our brokenness, but the grace and love of our Creator and our Writer. Love is the theme of this saga, our brokenness just plays a role to magnify love. If just we are all PERFECT, then what magnifies our Protagonist?

Romans 5:19-21

"For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

~~~

God loves us, even before the Existence.

Dedicated to My Lord and My God, Sarah Lee, Abigail Chan and all my beloved friends and family.

Hypocrite?

2011-05-23T20:51:00.005+08:00

It's been 3 years, without me knowing. It's my birthday today, at least, according to Lunar Calendar. My root as a Chinese, everything that defines me, changes in such short 3 years. I never see myself in the place I am now 3 years back. I could never ever see so much, back before these 3 years.

I see myself cursing Christians, calling them hypocrite, holding back their desires by their God (well now, our God!). HYPOCRITES!! I would call them. You are born an animal and this life is all you have, enjoy it! Fulfill your desires, satisfy your lust! I laughed at them!

How would I know I was scorning the same group of "unusual" people that now I put myself in? I never believe religion would change a human's nature. At least, I never knew God would change me. I never believe a Man that is not even physically here would do anything more incredible than to change my life. I never knew God Himself would be enough to satisfy me more than any desire, greed and lust. I never even expect to be loved so much.

Deep down inside of that Form 4 me, I know, I'm broken, shameful of what and who I am. That pride of me, I don't need Anyone to forgive me, I never thought I could be forgiven anyway. Those prides of me, if God is God, show Yourself! I never knew, that if were to see God Himself, it would have been to late. I never knew, God was there keep telling me that He is, He was and He will be there. I'm a sinner, I knew it, but I never want to admit it. Yea, I'm the leader of the Scout Troop, so if I'm wrong, who would obey me? Who would fear me? Who would respect me? NEVER!!!

And never did anyone know how tired, how broken and how weak I was. How much tear I dripped, how much sweat I wiped to bear that burden I put on myself, thinking it could make me happy.

But little did I know, He saw it. He knew it and He knows it. No matter how much I tried to deny Him, how many time I laughed at His people, He just never one day, stopped loving me. Little did I know, that He, who was scorned, tortured and nailed on the Cross, would "Record my misery; list my tears on [His] scroll..." [Psalm 56:8]

My world turned upside down when He just came into my life. My proud successes became my shameful failure, my ladders of success became my stumbling stones, my knowledge became my ignorance, my intelligence became my foolishness. I hated this part, to be honest, I didn't like it AT ALL!

Abby knew how much I try to struggle. How many falls I took to learn a harsh lesson, how many things I can't pursue, how many (evil) plans I can't carry out, how many vengeance I can't take, how many girls I can't tackle (LOL).

God isn't really a good salesman. There wasn't one thing attractive about Him to me. But I'm so so in love with Him (as much as He is, perhaps, only a tiny part of how much He does), it's like I would abandon my family just to be with a girl I love so so much. To go against my (earthly, most important) father's will and expectation, to break my (most beloved) mother's heart, to anger my (most dear) sister. I would cry for days.

I can't describe how the power of the Holy Spirit works, but I can show you some result. My world view of who I am, what I am and what they are has totally been changed. My rage (that I would beat the heck out of my sister and shout at whoever that doesn't do what I expected) vanished. My impatience (now I can wait 5 minutes longer, LOL) tendered. My leadership style (dictatorship to servant-leader) changes. My words (harsh and ugly) soften. And, of course, many, many things.

And so, what was I saying? Oh yea, I'm the "hypocrite"! So be it! And that, Christ will work so thoroughly, you'll be next! Like SERIOUSLY!!!

2011-05-07T21:13:00.002+08:00

Father I pray and I ask,

When so many people are doing what they think is right, that I may do what you think is right.

When so many people are being hurt, that I may reach down to the depth of their souls.

When so many people are being violent and offensive, that I may venture to comfort their hearts.

When so many people are judging the way of another, that I may be compassionate to both victim and offender.

When so many people are laughing at the truth, that I may stay focus on what’s true.

When so many people are suffering, that I may share their pain and carry them through.

When so many people are paying evil with evil, that I may turn the other cheek.

When so many people are celebrating the death of a brute, that I may celebrate the death of my King.

When so many people are heading their certain death, that I may stand in their place to die for them.

When so many “I” appear in my writing, that You may stand out and be glorify, that I may stand in AWE.

For You must increase and I decrease.

In Christ Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen!

2011-05-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Fear I know not,
For in You my trust is rooted.

Worry I carry not,
For in You my need is provided.

Despair I hold not,
For in You my hope is set upon.

Shame I feel not,
For in You my sins are forgiven.

Death I will not,
For in You my life is given.

2011-04-25T15:23:00.001+08:00

If I’m an artist, the sky is my painting board,
Praises I will paint to the every atmosphere.

If I’m a singer, my soul is my loudspeaker,
Mercy I will sing every step I take.

If I’m a runner, Your Word is my feet,
Truth I will run, every pace rooted in You.

If I’m an engineer, My Lord is my stairway,
Reconciliation I will build upon the Cornerstone builders rejected.

If I’m a doctor, Your blood is my medicine,
Wounds I will heal to the deepest of the heart.

If I’m a sinner, Your resurrection is my death.
New creation I will be to the end of eternity.

If I’m just myself, You are my pursuit and love,
You alone I will love, with all my heart, my mind, my strength and my soul.

It Is Not Really My Will

2011-04-10T14:12:00.002+08:00

=/ how can I put them in words? O God, the power You put in me, the capability that many would envy, sometimes I wish I do not possess them.

So many people are putting their hopes and expectation on me, and what I fear, I'm only mere human who needs You so badly, will fail and disappoint them.

I'm not gonna pretend I'm tough and invincible, simply because I'm not. I wish You did not choose me to be capable of bearing the cross and drink that cup. It is simply not my will to do anything.

But my will is not my own Lord. Even Jesus, who was going to be prosecuted, to be nailed onto the cross, submitted to Your will. He asked for that cup to be removed from Him, yet He drank it all. [Luke 22:42, Matthew 26:42] I'm in a better state than He was, I guess I have no reason to run away from this responsibility You put in me even before I was born.

I'm proud to say You are my Lord, I wanna make you proud of me as You would to many other people. Hence, it is not really my will, but Your will, be done.

All the capabilities You put in me, I give it all back to You, to serve You, to praise You, to glorify You, even if it costs me to turn away from my family, my friends and my own comfortable home.

God, may Your will be done, not mine.

More Evil Than Before

2011-03-23T21:50:00.002+08:00

What has the whole world turn into? Chaos, war, hatred, politics, injustice, oppression and...you name it.

The list goes on, and on, and on, and on....

Don't look at the whole world, look at our own country first. What has our country turn into?

The most honoured place of justice, the justice court. What have we done it to? Defiled and haunted. It turned into a rich man's market, a politician's playground. Judges turn blind and ignorant. Fogged by golds and silvers, clouded by insecurity, they lost the sole value that honors them - JUSTICE.

Injustice happens right in front of our eyes, we ignore them. Oppression happens right on us, we willingly give them up. Where is our honour? Our freedom? Our....who we are?

The whole world is more evil than it was before, and yet ignorant man calls ourselves "wise wise man" (Homo Sapien sapien) when we are the one playing a fool with the whole world.

O God, I can't bear a second in this wild crazy world. But we are bearing this with the hope that one day You would come on a cloud of heaven, a horse ready for battle, to set things back in order.

Open Minded?

2011-03-17T21:53:00.002+08:00

My besties always tell me: "I'm very OPEN MINDED one, I'm not in any religion. If you think you have the truth, you are true. But don't need to preach God to me, I believe every religion teaches people to be good."

You think such statement is true by itself? I mean, I find this funny, the whole statement is self-refuting. Will a truly OPEN MINDED person rejects something, before even giving it a fair hearing?

I would believe only in something I see SCIENTIFIC. Er, just exactly how SCIENTIFIC is your SCIENCE? Or did you just jump into conclusion and squeeze irrelevant evidences later just to fit your "conclusion"? All these years of doing scientific reports in school just went down the drain.

But I must also mention, I've very impressed by my Best Trusted Friend, Lee Voon Keong. The most OPEN MINDED person I've ever known in my life. He's fully open to ideas, he listens and slow to judge. Sometimes, that just worries me more. Because he's always indecisive. Ahaha!

Well, that's all my update. Just asking you guys, think more, act faster!

The Old Selfish Me

2011-02-10T21:44:00.001+08:00

(source: Ready With An Answer For the Tough Questions About God by John Ankerberg & John Weldon)

What evolutionists are trying to achieve is to explain God away, and hence, there’s no need for morality that stops them from doing whatever they want. There’s no need for judgement, no rules, nothing to hold us back. We can have sex with whoever we want, promote homosexuality, and even justify abortion. =) Isn’t this nice?

Yea, I found it nice, it’s exactly what I wanted isn’t it? That’s why I believed in evolution theory so so much. I could have any wife I want, I could drink all I want, I can enjoy myself in all such pleasure, because I’m going to die anyway. Purposeless, I can live my life without purpose.

I could live by my own moral according to my own interest. I determine what is right and what is wrong. As long as I achieve my goal, I’m right.

But, truth remains true even if I want to deny it so badly. This is a world with purpose, with order and of course with a Creator. Convicted by such compelling facts and evidence, I was forced to admit that evolution theory simply can’t be true provided its completely lack of evidence to support it. I thought I was so smart, but I was actually completely ignorant. Ignore the fact that, there lack evidence to show evolution theory to be accepted as a fact as most scientist do. Ignore the fact that evolution theory cannot stand as a scientific theory as it was not evaluated properly through scientific methods. Ignore the fact that, as more evidence is being discovered, the more such evidence favour the creationist.

I don’t know about you, but I wish you could see the picture, when creationists are being persecuted, despised, discriminated, silenced and oppressed, truth is covered by lies so that Satan may have his way. I pray to God, that you who claim to be “open-minded” to really open up your eyes to search into the truth. Open your minds to your “impossibles”, examine these evidence and arguments that the evil ones states. I pray to God that you may be shown wisdom and answers!

Recommend some book I read and am reading:

More Than A Carpenter – Josh Mcdowell
Ready With An Answer For the Tough Questions About God – John Ankerberg & Jodn Weldon

A Way Out

2011-01-09T01:14:00.003+08:00

Dear God,

What could I have asked more of You? It’s amazing how You work Your miracles in my life. One moment I was like angry with You, the next thing I know, I got a job way better than I could imagine.

I’m glad I have You as my God. A God who loves me so so much. You who held me up, and You who always provide a way for me to escape. I was so so tempted to take up the gambling company position. RM1800 + transport allowance up to RM400 + commission and EASY JOB~! Which post-STPM student would not be attracted by such offer? I don’t know about others, but I was seriously gonna fall for it.

Thank You who held me on. I talked to Uncle Rodney about it because I struggle within my heart and I wasn’t sure. I wonder what I was about to do is right in Your sight. After being affirmed, I decided to take the less convenient route, to forget the job totally.

It was not a smooth sail after that anyway, and I was kinda angry with You at that moment. But I didn’t know it’s Your plan to teach me such good lesson. Thank You who strengthen me and helped me to hold on to the hope that You have better things for me. And indeed, things went perfect!

I complained to Lung Chuin that I went through troublesome interviews and yet have not got a job. He happily told me that he found it. I asked if his company needs another one. “I’ll try to ask my boss, but only two positions are offered and after me, there are roughly 2 persons applying for the job. Don’t give much hope.” he said. I didn’t put much hope though, but tried my luck on JobStreet.com.

The following night, Lung Chuin text-ed me to e-mail my resume to his boss. Immediately it was done. I was suppose to go for an interview the next morning. After the long interview, I got a call from Lung Chuin’s boss. In fact, he tried to reach me but I was having my interview. Gladly I accept the invitation for interview at Taman Desa.

The next morning, nicely dressed I drove my car to Taman Desa, smooth sailing with little jam. As he was explaining the job scope to me, I was filled with joy. “This is like my IDEAL job!” I told myself. “Okay, I’ll see you on Monday!”

There it goes, although the pay is lower, but there’s only a difference of roughly RM100. It doesn’t matter because this is like the best for me that God had prepared way before I even asked him. I’m glad that I held on to Him, only because He held on to me.

1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

I can prove this verse true! God proved it Himself! He indeed, provided a way out for me! HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!!!

In Jesus’ Mighty and Gracious Name I pray, Amen…

Long Lost Passion

2011-01-01T23:38:00.003+08:00

The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader was really like a wake up call. Seeing how they venture into Dark Island to save those lost souls, I questioned myself:" How far would I venture into the darkness of this world and light it up? How much do I trust You in doing so?"

Apparently, I lost that confidence in You, mainly because I lost that confidence in myself. I lost that belief that I'm capable of doing many thing with You. I lost that belief that I can actually make a slight difference. So I fell away, let You down, and broke every single promise that I could barely hold on to. I felt unworthy, I felt I have not done enough to please You, and I find it so so hard to do so, so then I gave up.

But You. Grace, is outrageously amazing. I could hardly imagine, I could hardly explain it. Undeserved, You patiently awaits me to return, patiently draws me back, cause You'll never let go. Nothing will separate me from Your love and Your grace. Romans 8:38-39 I'm so ashamed, yet I'm so grateful. That I need not to squeeze every bit of me to earn that grace, for if I have to, it isn't.

Father, I beg Your pardon, I beg Your forgiveness. Your humble servant is here. I'm weak and poor, use them for Your glory, turn them into my strength. I wanna go out there and bring these lost soul back because I can't bear to see them walk the pain I went through. I love them, help me to love them. I wanna be brave and courageous, to do things I'm afraid to. As much as I try to grow into my father, help me to grow into more and more like You.

I'm confused, to live in such a world. I find it hard to juggle between serving You and serving the world. Living in the world but not of the world couldn't be any easier than I thought. But I struggle to keep my conscience clear. I guess I would just obey and trust You. Father, I'm struggling to get a job. I don't wanna defile Your Name nor my conscience, so I choose another inconvenient route, and to trust You that You'll give me a better one. My Father knows what I need and what's best for me.

I thank You and praise You for every blessings and every person that is in my life. They define who am I today. Most importantly, You define my history and my future. I lay them into Your hands, and I choose to obey.

Arrival

2010-11-26T13:43:00.002+08:00

I did not expect,

Haha,

I actually marked the wrong day,

The day of your homecoming.

I'm glad,

At least I'm like,

The first to know of your arrival.

Welcome home Delilah,

This is the last for you,

Yet it still feels like,

A thousand miles away.

Day 21

2010-11-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

I slept unusually early last night,

Couldn't help it,

I was mentally too exhausted.

My gum hurts,

One big ulcer hides itself,

Torments me.

The 21st day,

The day I should be waiting for,

But I've lost the reason.

Know you have the answer,

But I've forgot the question.

Truth sets me free,

But this is one freedom,

I wish I never had.

It hurts,

More than my gum.

Day 20

2010-11-24T22:01:00.003+08:00

How many days have passed,

Counting down to the day,

But I never forget to write to you each day.

I wish a thousand words can tell,

But a thousand steps won't reach,

And a thousand wishes won't come true.

I wish a thousand prayers would save,

And a thousand worries would keep you safe,

But a thousand pleads won't hold you.

Now my thousands hope,

A thousand angels will hold you,

And a thousand blessings on me.

Day 19

2010-11-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

So far,

Away we are.

A thousand miles isn't sufficient,

Just so far apart.

So empty,

Nothing we are.

A thousand miles isn't sufficient,

Just so deep hollow.

I search you and find nowhere,

I hear you and heard no breath.

So far,

Apart we are.

A thousand miles is way too far.

Day 18

2010-11-22T16:17:00.001+08:00

Dilemma,
Tomorrow will be the start,
To give all that I have,
All that I’ve got,
In 1 and a half years.

I should be anxious,
I should be revising,
But I don’t know where to start,
Yet uneasy for not doing anything.

So my camera I carried,
For a walk in the midst of anxiety,
To see the glory of God,
And how He clothes His creations.

All that I find,
Is comfort.

Day 17

2010-11-21T16:42:00.002+08:00

Things do not often go as we wanted it to.

We gain things,

We lose it often.

But when all things fall apart,

You know I'm right here for you.

I'm sorry I can't be the one for you,

But I'm willing to go with you.

And be sure,

My phone is 24 hours standby,

For your name to appear on my screen.

Only thing,

Tell Maxis and DiGi to increase their coverage,

HAHAHA!

Day 16

2010-11-20T23:57:00.001+08:00

The door isn't open,

I'll try another one.

Day 15

2010-11-20T01:07:00.001+08:00

The less of me,

The less of you,

I would probably be happier.

I don't like to do this,

But I know I just have to,

I ain't the one.

Serious this time.

Day 14

2010-11-18T23:36:00.003+08:00

How I wish I could be there,

To walk you through the pain,

To carry you through the streets,

To hold you cross the roads.

But I know,

You would push me away,

After all,

I'm in no place to do so.

Can only watch you from far.

Through another slow slow week.

Day 13

2010-11-18T03:14:00.005+08:00

Walking those streets,

Nothing pleases me,

Nothing displeases me as well.

There's no difference,

How the world shaped into my eyes.

Well I constantly test,

The faith that I struggle so much.

Could I have been living in lies,

That I chose to live in;

Or could things I perceive,

In fact is taking place.

Perhaps it is not the reality that I test,

It is myself that I doubt.

As this poem continues in First-Person

Only comes to prove that I'm still living in my own.

There's too much ego,

Too little humility.

There's too much me,

Too little You.

As the world continues to circle around me,

Its gravity would crush me.

I made not of gold,

Stand to crushing I cannot.

Hold me tight,

As I continue to sink into myself,

I think You can pull me out of this.

The idea that I could make a huge difference,

The less of me would makes things halt,

Would bring more cargo than crane.

Tonight my thoughts are jumbled,

But I only wish I talk more about You,

And you.

Day 12

2010-11-17T00:01:00.002+08:00

My heart did not feel any heavier,

I only hope that time would go longer.

Everyone has gone home,

I had to stay,

I chose to stay,

For there's no where I could go.

Maybe he was right,

Though jokingly.

I couldn't find a reason to stay,

When you are away.

Time to wave bye,

To a place I called 2nd home.

Only wish,

You could be here.

Day 11

2010-11-15T22:53:00.005+08:00

Okay come on DJ,

Let's change the channel.

Hello Delilah,

You're listening to PG FM,

Broad-casted from a thousand miles away,

But the broadcast is so strong,

It vibrates your bones,

Straight to your heart.

There might be a thousand questions,

I know only you could be the answer.

And there might be a thousand answers,

But you know there could only be one reason.

There might be a thousand miles to walk,

I promise nothing will hurt like your black "click-clock".

There might be a thousand words to talk,

I promise I'll get your heart unlocked.

I doubt the way I feel,

But never doubted the way you heal.

I doubt the way I deal,

But never doubted the way you feel.

I hope I could be the answer,

To your thousand questions.

I want to be your reason,

To your thousand answers.

I know the freezing wind chills,

But be sure warmth of my heart you'll feel.

I know the pain at your heels kill,

But be sure, take my hands and you'll be healed.

Sweet isn't it?

Stay tuned for more love tunes.

Like the honey moon,

That keep the shining in June.

Day 10

2010-11-14T23:15:00.002+08:00

算到最后一支手指，

要从算过。

=）

今晚，

我笑了。

只因心情好。

哈哈，

好心情竟让妳担心。

我没事，

别担心。

只要妳无恙，

只要妳开心，

一切都不重要。

笑吧！

今晚，

我笑了…

Day 9

2010-11-14T01:00:00.002+08:00

好冷的一夜，

漆黑的天空，

仿佛想掉泪的孩子，

却哭不出来。

寒风无情，

吹动了我的心，

这开心的一天，

怎么不配今夜的气氛。

Day 8

2010-11-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

交错的心情，

眼泪想掉下的一晚。

无能为力的我，

今夜觉得自己好弱。

好多事情，

不在能力范围内，

不受控制。

只想捉紧身边的一切，

却发觉爱我的一切，

悄悄溜走了，

怎么捉，

也捉不住。

Day 7

2010-11-12T06:15:00.002+08:00

这一周，

特别漫长，

似乎发生了不少是非。

又失眠了。

不懂怎么搞的，

就是睡不着。

脑海的想象，

在思念的舞台上，

飞舞。

好累，

可思念，

还不想睡。

Day 6

2010-11-10T20:22:00.003+08:00

想妳的第六天，

是结束我七年学生生涯，

感触良多的一天。

默默无闻的一年，

在友谊万岁绕梁下，

划了钩。

也许有点不甘心，

却又庆幸，

短短的年半，

经历了又多少的风雨。

唯一遗憾的，

你不在。

两次毕业，

为两个不同的女生，

发出了

遗憾的长叹。

微笑吧！

一切事物，

总得有个结束。

Day 5

2010-11-09T23:14:00.002+08:00

超没心情，

发觉自己如此渺小，

如此软弱。

我连对自己的承诺，

也无法守住，

那我，

又能用什么守护任何人？

我的智慧，

竟然把所有人的矛头，

那恐怖，

锋利的口舌，

向我的喉咙，

逼近。

我无法呼吸，

无法还击。

难道，

我正如他们所说，

极端，

无知？

我不懂，

我只能相信主。

至于妳呢?

好像离我好远，

好远…

Day 4

2010-11-09T16:11:00.001+08:00

哈哈，

竟然被妳赶回房睡觉！

今天好累哦！

Day 3

2010-11-08T02:49:00.003+08:00

怪了，

今天竟然没想妳，

却多了点寂寞。

手机不响了，

也许能让我更专注吧。

我说过会努力的，

一定会用工。

是时候把妳放在一旁了，

却一直还期望着。

骗着自己，

也许妳想让我专心，

一切过去后，

妳方能和我在一起。

可是骗话，

永远不是事实。

告诉自己，

=）

该放弃了吧，

死不认输的人。

Day 2

2010-11-06T23:06:00.002+08:00

有点早，

其实是睡不着。

被床边的书桌挡着，

想起昨晚埋头苦读，

有点难以置信。

早餐后，

可能是睡不够，

没心情。

两点了，

有点期待妳的电邮，

零。

知道自己有些迫不及待，

还有点笨。

还在，

等待…

Day 1

2010-11-05T21:23:00.003+08:00

东，

南，

西，

北。

北方，

向东移一点点。

向妳的方向，

想妳的方向。

听着轻松的歌，

抬头望着那微蓝的天空。

冷了吧？

一丝的妄想，

也许，

妳正望着同一片天空。

Departure

2010-11-05T21:07:00.002+08:00

手机响起，

振动了我的心，

那来电显示，

是你的名字。

接了电话，

可笑，

我竟然说不出话来。

心中百般感觉，

无法用话语拼出的不舍。

5分钟也不够，

挂了。

那一个傍晚，

我傻傻地抬头，

寻找任何移动的黑点，

也许那是带着妳飞的。

也许我能望向妳，

可我,

最终只能想妳。

No Truth?

2010-10-29T21:55:00.002+08:00

One day in a classroom, students were given one mathematic question. The question was 1+1 = ?

Student A: 1+1=2

Student B: 1+1=3

Student C: 1+1=0

Student D: Hmm, okay, just let me see what the rest answer.

Student E: Yea, me too.

Student A: 1+1 must be equals to 2 la, how can it be 3?

Student B: It's logical, trust me it's 3.

Student C: The world comes from nothing and when things come together, it's nothing.

Student D: A, B and C could be correct too. But I believe, no one holds the absolute truth. 1+1 couldn't be 2, who knows? A, you must tolerate with B and C, because it's true for them.

Student E: Everyone wants to answer the question, and I believe they all wants to answer it, I guess I'll be good.

Student A: NO! of course not, it's all the while 2, from the very beginning when teacher taught us.

Student B: A is a liar, don't believe him. How can 1+1 be 2?

Student C: Teacher? don't be silly, there's no teacher.

Student D: A, how can you insist that you're right? Why do you get so extreme? We can never know the right answer, and answer is created by us. I believe no one is ABSOLUTELY right.

Student E: Hey, don't fight. Don't fight. Everyone is true okay? You just want to answer that question, you don't have to stick to one, why not just take all?!

Teacher came in and asked them to hand up their answer.

Answers:

Student A answered 2

Student B answered 3

Student C answered 0

Student D left it blank.

Student E answered 2, 3, 0

~~~~

I'm directing this to skepticism, who believe there is no absolute truth, everyone holds truth what they believe and refuse to make a firm stand.

There must be a truth whether you like it or not. You might find it uncomfortable because the truth can only be one. But I tell you love tolerates but also tell them the truth, because the truth will set you free. Because one day when the truth prevails, you can't be going without an answer.

Just imagine, sending in a blank paper for your exam, will Teacher mark you correct? No, but you have to have an answer.

And you can't be having written all possible answers because that will get you wrong as well.

I don't know how to put them in words but I know there must be a truth, whether which is true, we would have to wait until Teacher to mark our paper. But right now, we try every possible source to get all proofs to show us the truth as true as possible. and I can't be attacking another's belief and faith without first knowing and reading them. And that's often what the unbelievers would do. They jump to conclusion, refusing to know what is exactly written.

I may not put in the best illustration, may not be seeing the whole picture, but I have faith that God is true and I have hope in Him.

What Did I Just Do?

2010-10-21T23:09:00.002+08:00

I tried so hard to love my friends, I would risk my time, my future and my life for them. But when you pour out so much, they just pull their cups away, it's more hurtful than just saying no. When you tried every single way to pull your friends back from the pit, you realise your friend was only going down deeper.

Then I doubt, am I doing the right thing? The way I want to help my friend, are they right? I always believe a friend is really a friend only if he/she would die telling you the truth and the right thing to do. I would risk my reputation and even the comfort of my own couch to do that. But, what I did, are they mistakes?

I'm a human, I could be wrong, I never ever dare to claim that I have no fault, I never dare to claim I'm wisest. I would give my help, with all I can.

Exactly because I'm a human, I can't be as faithful as God Himself can be, I will give up. It's hard to be disappointed by your loved ones.

All I want to say, I see you as friend, I would risk my life for you, as far as I can ever imagine now. Why? Simply because God loves me and my overflowing love has nowhere to go but to you.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

(John 15:13)

Failing in love

2010-10-21T17:20:00.002+08:00

It's turning into obsession. Sometimes I question that little, faint light of passion for you. So much time I told myself to love, but instead it causes me more pain than pleasure. Jealousy, insecurity, uncertainty surely have their ways to strike me.

Perhaps it's a mistake to fall in love with anyone. Or maybe I never learn how to love. I can't tolerate, that's not love at all. It's obsession.

I expect everything from you knowing I have no right to expect anything from you, hence disappointment that I should not be feeling in the first place.

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

(Psalm 56:8)

Motivation

2010-10-12T14:59:00.002+08:00

I dunno if it's appropriate to post this but today's topic was about Motivation.

There were so many sources of motivation, but Xiao Chun made a good point, if we do not motivate ourselves, there's no way we could be motivated by anyone else.

I did not quite agree at the moment when discussion was going on, because my idea was a car can never fill up its own empty tank and a car can never run on empty tank.

But it was kinda true, because if we do not open up ourselves for anyone else to fill us up, there's no way we can be filled. If we remain defensive, no one could reach beneath our heart, to know what's stopping us from going forward.

Our God, God of Trinity, remain in constant relationship between the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit even though He is the God Almighty, because He, as God Almighty knows clearly how important it is to be in relationship with others. As strong as God, needs a strong relationship, how much more, as mortal man would need relationship to keep us going?

Mutual encouragement, unity is all we need living in this world. My father used to tell me, "No one cannot live without anyone." Which I, to a certain point, disagree with him. God made us all unique, hence each of us is born with different ability and possibility. And when people of different ability comes together, we can be great and mighty, creating possibility, under God.

That is why I always hate competition, because there's no way we can compare an apple to an orange. We can't even compare one apple to another apple, because God's creation is simply unique (knowing that God knows every single creature to their most fundamental unit). Standard can be set to compare, but who defines what's good and what's bad? Dennis showed me two books yesterday in Chillz, both by the same author, one writing about boys and another, girls. Dennis was giggling that the book about boys was thicker than about girls, he jokingly called it sexist. Out of a slight annoyance, I blurted, "Does thick means good?" *Laughter*

Let us open up ourselves, to people we trust most, that we may go intimate as our God of Trinity. Because we need to be in constant relationship with others, just as how God saw the need for Adam to have Eve. If we simply can live as an island, God would only need to create Adam in the first place. =)

See how caring our God is. =)

Be motivated, for our God is near! And may His kingdom come.

Better is One Day In Your Court

2010-10-10T00:24:00.004+08:00

Better is one day in Your Court,

Than a thousand days in the riches of the wicked.

Better is crawling on Your road,

Than to drive on the highway of the wicked.

They turn "Hallelujah" into curse,

The words of their lips are crushing me.

They turn Your name into ridicule,

The grins of their teeth are haunting me.

They speak against You and me,

Like a spear pierces right through my heart.

Hostile in their land, I fear,

Cold and covered in darkness,

I fortify,

With brutality and profanity,

That I may look like one of them,

That I may walk on their path,

That they may fear me.

But that is not the road I tread,

I wanna fight,

On the back of Your horse,

Buckled the belt of truth,

Wearing the breastplate of righteousness,

Shielded by faith,

Salvation be my helmet,

Wielding the sword of the Spirit, The Word of God,

Prayer be the slash of my sword.

To strike their pride,

Crush their ignorance,

Mute their foolishness.

Divided We Fall

2010-10-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

Approached two elders of The Church of Jesus Christ today in the LRT. They are Mormons. Bearing the name of Christ, sharing not the Word of God.

We can call ourselves Christians all we want, but who is a Christian?

If we continue to allow ourselves to divide into denomination, then we allow Satan to constantly creep into our Churches. The Mormon's founder, Joseph Smith was confused by different denominations and was looking for the RIGHT church to settle down but he couldn't.

Mormonism does not abide in God's Word. They have different Testament to follow, calling it the Book of Mormons.

It's important to be careful of all these doctrines. Whatever gospel that contradicts the Holy Bible, is not from God. Joseph Smith is not a prophet, we need not to acknowledge that (professing that Joseph Smith is a prophet is one of the step of receiving salvation, but who died for us on the cross? How come I've never heard that I have to acknowledge that Martin Luther is the leader of Reformation as my profession of faith?), in other words, he is a false prophet.

I'm not being apologetic here, not trying to offend anyone (well, that's exactly what I was doing), but I want to remind my brothers and sisters in Christ, STAND FIRM in Christ. He is the head of the Church. He is God and He has His way to lead the Church. Church will fall but He never fails, for He is the Sustainer. So, pray for discernment that you may judge the right from wrong, see the truth from false.

Let us be united in Christ, and abide in the Word of God and Him only! Soli Deo Gloria!

2010-09-24T23:01:00.001+08:00

It's hard to deal with my parents, it's harder to deal with myself. I don't being accused, even if I've done wrong. I've done wrong and I admitted it, then why say it as if I did not admit? My sister do mess up my things but I've never heard them say a single thing about it, even when she did not apologize. But, I'm sorry dad (I can't tell you in the face), I could have deal with this better. It is not easy to be the eldest son, never. I hate that I am the eldest son, for some reason. I hate that I'm the one everyone puts their hope. I hate to carry these responsibility. Sometimes I feel like bursting, but I put it on with a smile. Now I broke out finally, in tears, yet not even one comforting words. God just like to put me into such tight conditions.

I miss you

2010-09-16T16:05:00.002+08:00

Status of the Day:

I miss everything about you. I miss your brows that fit your eyes so neatly, I miss your smiles that suit your lips so flawlessly, I miss your body that fits your soul so perfectly. But, of everything about you, I miss you.

Dear God,

You are my Lord, You are my God, You are my Creator, definitely You know me to the depth my of my heart and my soul. God, You know my desire. I desire someone intimate, who would care, who would share my bitter-sweet. My heart has that someone and You know best. You even know whether I'm lying to myself. You know this desire overflows that it's bursting forth out of my lip for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. [Matthew 12:34]

God, You who know my heart, tell me right from wrong, tell me go or stop. She draws the line so clear, my heart tells me to draw it clear too. I've been living my life with a blur boundary, never was anyone to tell me something is right or wrong. But God, discipline me if You do love me. Today, I miss her like everyday before.

God, this is my desire, but may Your will be done. God, this is my desire, but it also tells me of another greater desire, may Thy kingdom come [Matthew 6:10].

In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen

Today

2010-09-15T13:09:00.003+08:00

Dear God,

Thank you for today, another day of life that I do not deserve. Today I'm sitting at home again, not doing my revision. I feel so lazy, because knowledge just won't get into my brains. I've been playing Plant vs. Zombie, what the.

Would You give me strength, wisdom, understanding and discernment? That I may focus on my revision. But I know Lord, that good result isn't by my hard work, but by Your grace and mercy. Yet, I know too that You will not let those who work hard in vain O God. I will enjoy everything You gave me, for it is Your gift, and I enjoy them with gratitude.

Lord, now I'll do what I can, and I'll leave my trial results to You Lord. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

Ecclesiastes 3:13 "That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God."

Be Thou My Vision

2010-09-07T21:43:00.001+08:00

Being distracted always by earthly things and earthly love, this song reminds me of what I should always focus on, God alone.

The Church and The People

2010-09-02T17:09:00.002+08:00

If Satan could creep into the Catholic Church during the time of Reformation, tell me, isn't it possible that Satan would also has crept into the churches of Protestants?

The first sign of Satan's work is division among the churches. Denominations. It has been one of my greatest question to ask and I've been wondering, why denominations?

And the fact that I've learn, is that man, limited to our finite wisdom, interprets the Holy Bible differently. It has become my vision, to create an inter-denomination community in my blessed school. In fact, the inter-D atmosphere was already there even before I accepted Christ. With one respecting each other.

But the question still lingers, why denominations? Division is the core and division is caused by the church itself. Whenever a stronger group of people rises, the group which has the dominant says, of course, dominates the direction of the Church. And when the minorities, to a critical point, will choose to leave and form another Church which her direction is determined by her people of the same believe.

The first thing that Satan do is to cast doubt about God's Word, just as how the serpent deceive Eve, the same way Satan will deceive Her, the Church. Then the Church cracks further when a group of people started to discourage the others who do not interpret God's Word that way. With hard feelings without confession and forgiveness, the Church breaks.

We're all in the body of Christ. If we do not unite and the "leg" tries to take over the "hand", or breaks away from the body, the body is amputated. [1 Corinthians 12:14-20]

Who lords over the Church? Is the Church herself or Her Husband (Jesus Christ)? Her Husband of course! So if all "hands" and "legs" and other part of the body obey the authority of Christ and cling on to His Words, division will not happen.

The Church is a community of believers that encourages each other and welcome the non-believers with the works of Her hands that glorify God. Therefore, encouragement and upholding is important in a Church.

Lastly, it's not what we do that justifies us, but by faith and the grace of God we are justified. [Romans 3:22, Ephesians 2:8-9]

Flawed

2010-08-28T02:35:00.004+08:00

As flawed as I am, how do I get into Heaven? A question VK asked me.

=) As flawed as I am, by the grace of God, as flawless as Jesus, that's how I know where I'm going.

It's hard to understand. But can finite wisdom understand an infinite plan of God?

Romans 3:28 For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.

But

Romans 3:31 Do we, then, nullify the law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the law.

Fragile - Handle With Care

2010-08-23T01:01:00.004+08:00

My last post was on the 22 July, a very short one. Marched aimlessly for one month, in 6 more days is gonna be 10th KL Annual Campfire again. Tried so hard to shake off my part in this thing, but it seems when I swore to commit myself into serving 10th KL, there's no turning back for me.

The only thing that held me on so far, is the brotherhood that keeps me coming back. Yet, it is the same brotherhood that fails me. I've put myself so far and so importantly, that whether people calls the year 2004 batch (the year I joined), they call it Kar Wai's batch. For certain people, well at least for me 2 years ago, it's a great pride. But pride always comes with a price, it starts to burden me.

I'm not a person to give up, but I gave up on man. I gave up hope, faith and trust on fragile man like myself, who never fail to disappoint me. Or maybe it's just me, who wants control and want it my way.

God, I have a confession to make, I'm not the perfect leader that You're looking for, at the same time, I'm not a good follower. Pride takes me to another level of pride. Unless one has impressed me and earned my respect, no one tells me to do anything. I tell you what to do.

I thank God for all the abilities that He gave me, being so able to get things under (my) control, gather talents and people, success in carrying out things seem impossible to most of the rest. But, it is the same abilities that starts to burden me as people starts to put on jobs to me.

I'm tired, seriously. To an extend I asked God to take me home. My heart contradicts as my task on Earth is not done and I keep procrastinates. I want rest, not sitting at home and chill out, but the rest in Christ's arms and listening to His gentle voices.

I'm too tired to think, or maybe I'm afraid to think about my future. So subconsciously, I choose to ignore. Whenever people ask me about my future career plan, I hate it! Tell you what, I hate it because I'm giving "politically right" answer which I've practiced over, over and over again in front my mirror. I hate it because I, who claims to be fearless, fear.

Who would ever comfort? Who would ever appreciate everything that I've given? Who would ever stop to care? Unless I take the initiative, no one.

Initiatives is what I possess, especially towards things that I'm passionate about. But that's exactly what makes people take me for granted. Don't I deserve to be appreciated in anyway?

As I'm writing this, reflection comes along. As far as I'm a man as fragile as anyone is, I'm selfish. I want recognition as much as I wanted in my previous life. God said:"The greatest among you will be your servant" [Matthew 23:11] I want reward, and appreciation, no one can give.

I'm holding on grudges and I can't let it go. I fear to tell people how much I love them like I used to, I fear to trust people like how much I trusted them, I fear to love people like I used to love. I'm hurt, and I don't want to be disappointed, anymore.

So God, when You take me Home, disappoint me not, for You are the only one I trust right now. I'm sorry that I've been weak and have been a hypocrite. Fill me up again.

Long long day coming

2010-07-22T17:37:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

It will be a long, long day tomorrow. Would You give me strength I need, not only to be able to make things happen, but also to control anger and desire running wildly within me. Would You give me wisdom too, to do what pleases You than what pleases me. Help me Lord!

Simply Obey With Faith

2010-07-09T20:48:00.003+08:00

Today my mother and I were invited to a dinner by our neighbour. After filling up my stomach, I went outside to the playground where my cousins were playing happily with the neighbour's kids. They played "Merry Go Round by Feet". Spinning happily with laughter and joy, until someone falls down they simply come near and hold them up and laugh together at it.

There's is just so much joy. There were no shame of a boy holding a girl's hand, nor any despise of age and gender, all simply joy in the simple game. The instruction is simple, follow and lead each other.

Huh? How do you follow, and lead at the same time? Perhaps the word "lead" does not really describe it right, perhaps holding on to each other would be a better description.

Imagine this, 8 people holding each other's hand and make a circle. The game starts and there's one fellow pulling the whole circle? Where is the fun? The circle will move slow and dreadful. Imagine they all laughing and counting to 3 and SPIN!!! Everyone launch at the same time, how soon will the circle accelerate?

Now imagine, one of the 8 people tripped and fall. The two persons holding on to that person do not want to help him out, will the circle still goes on or all 8 people fall? Imagine if one guy trips and the two guys beside by their strength hold him up, will the circle not keep going?

A simple game yet so much to learn...

Imagine there's a 2 years old boy (This actually happened during the game), he easily will fall and trip when the elder ones goes too fast. One of the mother came and put two eldest kid to hold on the the small boy. In the same way the strong must help the weak, the old must guide the young, the rich should comfort the poor. The world tells you the "Survival of the fittest", but the Bible tells us in Romans 15:1 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves."

Why were they so happy? They simply obey what was told for them to do, what is right to keep the circle running!

We are united by Christ and we have unity in Him, just like the children who are united by hands and love. Shouldn't we have faith like children, love like kids and uphold every single one in Christ, strong or weak, old or young, rich or poor as we walk or run in Christ?

When we obey, have faith that our Father in Heaven is kind, loving and just. He who knows us will not put us in a situation above our ability or strength and judge us when we fail. Luke 11:11 "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?"

Matthew 19:14 "Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

XEE Semester 2 Part 2

2010-06-22T17:19:00.002+08:00

XEE Day 2

Today my bag and my body feels lighter. With my sunglasses and my MP3 Player on, joyfully I marched towards school. It seems that I've arrived earlier than I'm supposed. Checking through Karen Phang's homework [my school teacher let me check her homework, eh hehe!], William joins in the wait for door. Zi Sheng is kinda worried about his Maju Logbook due this Saturday.

So many things going through my mind. Secondhand Serenade playing through my mind, my heart was burdened, but I shall remove it because this is gonna be my turning point! Enough is enough, no point crying over a person who does not wipe your tears. Instead of thinking of her, perhaps I should focus on people who will come before Jesus and let Him wipe their tears.

Started off with singspiration led by Johnathan, we launched our day with the second part of the Gospel story. Dealing with sin, there's much for me to deal with. Days ago I was struggling, exactly how?! XEE tells me, "No, you can't deal with it yourself".

[Let me test my memory]

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Struck! And I smiled, for all these time, knowing that I have sins to struggle with, I only asked for forgiveness, I've never really listen to Holy Spirit's call to cease.

CA 3 and CA4 perhaps is one of the most physically challenging CA ever done before. CA3 we met Seng Yik, he was walking towards LRT station to take a ride until Titiwangsa Station where his mother is waiting. Despite being in a rush, we walked all the way with him from Togo Cafe near SM Confucian to Horley Link, and along the way we shared the Gospel with him. Though we did not manage to fully share with him, we were happy that we sowed the seed.

Then we loiter around looking for prospects for CA 4. We met 2 V.I. students, our rival school. They had just finished their lunch at Petaling Street, walking back to their school at the other end of Jalan Hang Jebat. We walk with them all the way from MBSOBA Building back to their school. Along the way I was sharing with Chan Keong and Kenny was sharing with the other guy whose name I've forgotten. We reach the junction where the nearest gate of V.I. is located, but the other guy was so interested, that he insisted to take the longer route instead. We agreed and Chan Keong had to bear with me for another 10 minutes. We walked into their school compound and again we did not manage to finish the sharing. But we were happy because we couldn't believe that we've walked such a distance away from school!

[I'm kinda happy that I'm still alive. I did not get stoned for wearing MBS jersey and entered V.I. territory, jokingly said.]

Leaving the nearest gate, we met a Malay family struggling with their punctured tyre. Moved by the Holy Spirit, I ran forth and offered help, William and Kenny joined in as William knows how to handle the jack. We helped them to change the punctured tyre and they were very grateful. They should thank God for putting them at that junction where we met them. I jokingly said to Kenny that he should have started sharing the Gospel with them as I buy him time while changing the tyre. HAHAHA!

It was awesome and my passion boils to share more! Lydia should be grateful that she missed it, otherwise she will have a pair of tired feet to massage, haha!

XEE Semester 2 Part 1

2010-06-21T17:40:00.003+08:00

XEE day 1

Holding my Gospel Stories outline, my heart struggles. Who am I gonna encounter today? What's gonna happen? My mind blanks, with nothing about the Gospel Stories playing in my mind. The last time I shared the Gospel, was like 6 months ago. Rusted, covered by secret struggles in my heart, a heart that I cannot bear to look upon it.

Have been ignoring His voice for quite some time, now I decided to heed His call to be back as a trainer this time, perhaps its another 360 degree turning point in my life.

I met Shearn and Lydia, my trainees under William as facilitator.

What? I'm supposed to share the full outline for the first Connect Activity [A session where we go out into the street and share the Gospel with strangers]? Shivering, a deep breath, I share the full outline with Kenny [CA Team trainee], with the outline guide in my hands.

CA 1 is done, next, we need to find the next prospect for CA 2.

One student from SM Confucian.

William:"Hi, do you speak English?"

Propect:"No, wo bu hui jiang."

Mocky:"Oh, hi, wo shi...."

My LORD! Why did I just interrupted? And I shared it in Mandarin, fluently. Where did all these words came from? I don't know, just rushed out of my mouth? O God, how awesome you are, how awesome is the power of Holy Spirit who put words onto my lips.

Luke 21:14-15

"But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict."

What an miraculous start! All that my fear, God cast them out before me, He leads me like pillars of clouds and fire. What was I thinking all these while? I just did not trust God enough to obey Him. Awesome!

[Nice food too!]

Post-exam Freak Out 2!!!

2010-06-01T16:45:00.002+08:00

What's the best thing of the day?!

MID-TERM EXAM ENDS!!!!!

Last paper was the (screwed up) Chemistry Paper II!!!

This exam? The exam that I have totally lost confidence. Not that I can't answer it, it's that I just can't feel God's presence with me this time.

Perhaps I'm still running away from Him? I don't know, I just want to go home!

Holiday plan? ASSASSIN'S CREED!!!!

消失

2010-05-22T17:18:00.001+08:00

曾几何时，

你的香味，

在我生命里，

消失了。

好怀念哦……

左边的车坐位

2010-05-14T21:47:00.002+08:00

走过与你邂逅路，

望望左边，

空的。

我曾捉着不放，

我不会让你下车的。

可你挣脱了我的手，

开了门，

下了车，

自行走了。

我放慢了车速，

希望你会回头，

可你头也不回，

似乎忘了我们走过的路。

发觉，

你竟然走得，

比我开车还快，

而左边的坐位，

依然空着。

God's Original Masterpiece - You...

2010-05-05T16:55:00.001+08:00

Have Not

2010-04-28T06:25:00.003+08:00

There are plans we have not carried out,

Places we have not been to,

Promises we have not fulfilled,

Story we have not continued...

But, where'd you go?

Love

2010-04-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

Love is always downwards, as heard from Pn. Chong MY during one of our conversation. Always the older one to the younger one, the elder generation to the younger generation, God in Heaven to us on Earth.

Despite being limited to our human form, love don't restrict us, and the power of love out match nuclear power or any form of powerful energy, for it was our of love, things were created. Despite being limited by Alzheimer's disease, grandma does not forget that her granddaughter is in hunger.

Taken from Weinan's blog. Even the unbelievers know how to love, how much more shall we love one another and our enemies, my fellow brothers and sisters!

Realise

2010-04-11T22:54:00.002+08:00

When your car starts to fail you, you'll realise how possible God is;

When your nation leaders start to disappoint you, you'll realise how sovereign God is;

When your nation starts to torment you, you'll realise how wonderful the Kingdom of God will be;

When your love ones start to hurt you, you'll realise how faithful God is;

When your strength starts to weaken you, you'll realise how strong God is;

When your intelligence starts to fool you, you'll realise how wise God is;

When your conscience starts to contradict you, you'll realise how just God is;

When your pride starts to humiliate you, you'll realise how humble God is;

When your possession starts to hunger you, you'll realise how prosperous God can provide;

When your works and deeds fail to justify you, you'll realise how amazing this Grace is.

GOOD Friday

2010-04-05T17:25:00.001+08:00

Me: “*reaching out to my bag’s side pocket* Where’s my sunglasses?”

Panicked.

“I think I left it in the cinema!”

My mood turned 180 degree. Speechless. I just bought my new spectacles not long ago, now I lost it?

She was following behind, perhaps I was walking a little too fast.

“Let’s go check it out at CyberCafe, perhaps I left it there before going into the cinema.”

Praying: “God, please help me find my specs back please.” Disappointment in return.

Detour to cinema. “May I see your manager please? I left my specs in your cinema I think.” “Please talk to the steward whether he can help you out.” “I’m sorry, the movie has already started, let me check with the janitor.” “No, we found nothing that resembles a spectacle box.” “Please let me in, I’ll check for myself please.” “Okay!” I came back out empty-handed.

Praying: “O God, please!”

Calling Ben: “Ben, where are you?” “First floor.” “Eh, I lost my specs in a box.” “You need help?” “Can help me check Macdonald’s out?” “Okay!” “I go check toilets.” She was still following, trying to calm me down though.

Blood boiling, but I try to be patience, who knows, God is training my patience, I prayed for it anyway. Patience. “God, if it is You who wants to test my patience, help me to be.”

Both toilets that I went, I return with disappointment. She catches the time to relief herself. I was getting a little desperate. I think I need to be specific in my prayer. “God, please help me to find my specs by myself and hand it to me on my right hand. It’s a clip-on sunglasses in a PINK box.” “Eh, auntie, ada jumpa tak satu kotak cermin mata?” “Takda lah boy.” Phone rings “Don’t have!” “Nevermind-lah, thanks.”

“Let’s go down along the way we picked Sarah up, maybe I dropped it along the way.” “Hmm!” Moving down, reached 5th floor. "Whisper in my heart: “I think you better check Macdonald’s again, I bet Ben won’t ask the manager about it.” I decided to obey it. “Let’s check out Macdonald, in case Ben miss anything.”

My last hope. “Hello, may I talk to the manager?” The manager waving at me telling me to be patient. “Ya?” “Ada jumpa tak satu kotak cermin mata warna merah jambu?” “Tunggu kejap ye?”

She walks into the room and walks out with something I’m familiar with. A PURPLE box with my sunglasses in it! Smile found its way back to my face, overwhelming joy jumps in my heart! I received the box, with my right hand. “Thank you thank you!” “PURPLE lah, PINK!!!!” she teased me. “I also confused.” “Thank you so much!”

God is great, so great that He answered my prayer exactly like what I prayed for. The key was, I needed help, and I chose to obey that soft whispering of the Holy Spirit. How much faith I took in God, than to trust my best friend. Wasn’t because my best friend is not trustworthy enough, it’s just that God is somehow greater!

If Ben found it right there and then, my prayer would not be answered as how I prayed. What I desired will be done but it does not glorify Him. So (I think), He took the trouble to take me around Times Square and led me to Macdonald. Yes, my prayer was answered like how I prayed. And I couldn’t stop praising Him, because He deserves it!

This incident did strengthen my faith a lot. And all my prayers and tears are answered in one shot again. If it wasn’t because of the time looking for my item, she and I wouldn’t know how much we pain went through. I was crying over it days ago, and now I’m comforted.

Thank God, thank Ben, Sarah and VK….Thank her for being by my side all the while. Sorry Chun Kit for wasting your time.

Post-exam Freak Out!

2010-03-11T21:38:00.001+08:00

LOL, I don't know how many more freak out I have to go through. I know there are three more to go this year.

It was totally a relief the moment I finish writing craps on my Economy paper and the moment teacher announced "Masa sudah tamat!" Yes! The moment I've been waiting for!

I've never went through exams like this. People who knows me long enough know that I don't often have my textbook in my hands, not even before exams. But Form 6 has really taken me to a whole new level, I know I have to take this seriously right now.

I might seem over-calm and over-relax when facing my exams. It's not to show that I'm very smart and intelligent, did not mean it that way all the while. Few reasons why I do that.

I need to be really calm and relax that my mind can be flexible enough to harvest whatever is in my brain and answer those questions.
I want to calm the rest as well. (Which I think it goes the wrong way, haha!)
No point pouring more things into a cup that is already full.

I do care actually, in fact I care more than what I actually show. And I take each exam seriously. I think exam is not how many questions you can answer, but how many questions you can’t answer.

God put tests in our life. He gives us everything and someday and somehow, He definitely has the right to take everything away. But the question is, why test?

Before you are tested, first you must have knowledge.

Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

God tests us to discipline us. He tests us so that we may really follow and obey Him.

Hebrews 12:10

“Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.”

God corrects us through tests

Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.”

And God tests us to know us and to let us know about ourselves. During the years in the desert, God constantly test the Israelites.

Deuteronomy 8:2

“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”

Test is so necessary to keep us from doing the wrong thing.

Exodus 20:20

“Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

Do you see that God always has a purpose in His mind when He put things around us as if they are troubles for us? If you would think, if God loves us, why make troubles for us? Well, are you God that you know what He’s up to? Know you not that He has the right to take your intelligence that you claim to be higher than Him?

When God tests us, definitely He knows what our ability is able to achieve. He also test us to know our hearts and to let us know ourselves.

From examinations, we can know what our knowledge can answer and what our knowledge can’t. To know our strength and our weaknesses. The ultimate goal is to ADMIT our weakness and to improve! And you’ll eventually find out weakness of man’s strength and you’ll find that you need God. And finally, it leads you back to Him and to lean on Him.

Proverbs 12:1

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.”

Are you?

So take heart, examinations are not the end of the world, perhaps it’s a new start. Take every one of the test seriously, for God treats you seriously. Know your weaknesses and lean on Him.

Hebrews 12:7-8

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.”

Proverbs 3:11-12

“My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
and do not resent his rebuke,

because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.”

Shout it out like Kind David, for a great King like him needed to be tested too.

Psalm 26:2

“Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;”

Psalm 139:23

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.”

Finally,

Psalm 118:8

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.”

Trust God, not yourself.

When You While When I

2010-03-02T16:33:00.005+08:00

You kept me standing when I'm falling,

You kept me walking when I'm straying,

You kept me holding when I'm losing,

You kept me sane when I'm not so sane.

You struck me down when I exalted myself,

You held me back when I'm going by myself,

You humiliated me when I prided myself,

You destructed me when I'm building myself.

You stretched Your arms and hugs me well,

Your mighty hands is where I dwell,

Your life will I witness to tell,

Your death so will I not sent to hell.

Was I still a sinner,

You died for me. (Romans 5:8)

You ransomed my soul,

Yours forever will be.

Job

2010-02-27T23:22:00.003+08:00

In the times of trouble, I hope I can be like Job, keep singing Him praise! He kept me strong and His grace is enough!

How I can keep from singing Your praise LORD!

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing your praise?
How can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love?
How can I keep from shouting your name?
I know I am loved by the king, and it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

Hands in My Pockets

2010-02-26T17:50:00.002+08:00

Breeze blew by,

Your fragrant hair smooth as silk,

Swiped by my sweaty cheek.

We walked by,

Of laughter,

Of jokes,

I thought we were happy.

I was longing,

But my hands are in my pocket,

It makes no difference,

With you walking by my side...

Heavenly Disconnected

2010-02-18T09:04:00.001+08:00

We were all happily chit-chatting (or yelling) at grandma’s house. My second aunt suggested that we go to one of her cousin’s house to visit them but unfortunately the cousin wasn’t at home so we had to cancel it.

Then I suggested to visit my youngest aunt’s house with the urge to play some mahjong. My intention was to play only, I did not intend to involve money.

We drove there in 3 separate cars with me fetching my sister only. As we reached there we got everything ready, the mahjong table, chairs and of course, the mahjong. I couldn’t wait for my elder cousin to come and join me for a 3-Players Cantonese Mahjong.

Just to make it fun, I (while being a Christian) suggested to involve money. This is where the problem starts.

I feel pride arise. Holy Spirit was prompting me not to play with money, in fact, the mahjong at all. But I ignored it on purpose but seek selfish desire for pleasure and greed.

I won around RM10 with starting fund RM13. But I also get the sense of guilt. I could feel Satan’s at work, this sense of guilt. I couldn’t stand it and tried to pray, but no words came out of my mind.

Perhaps this big little sin shut me off from God, temporarily. Now I greatly felt the consequences of sin. I couldn’t do my night prayer well, no words came out from my praying mouth, I have no idea what to pray. It’s like I’m disconnected from God. I felt emptiness and despair.

I knew what I need is confession and forgiveness. I confessed my sins for gambling and I pleaded for forgiveness. Perhaps it’s the best way. The first thing I knew (by faith) my sense of guilt is removed, Satan has no longer control over me. The next thing I knew, I’m relieved of my burdens.

You know what, I’m grateful that I went through this, otherwise I won’t know what sin can do to my life. Not that involving in sin is good, do not even try it. But give thanks to God if you happened to go through one like this. Confession of sin and forgiveness is important, seek them and you shall seek God.

1 Corinthians 10:23
[ The Believer's Freedom ] "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

2010-02-17T16:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

The Chinese part of me is working up for angpao! XP...

God has taken me to a whole new level of experience of love, peace and power!

Happy CNY and have a prosperous and blessed year!

Prayer Answerer

2010-02-07T14:25:00.002+08:00

I went through a spiritual stagnant for the pass few months. No sharing of Gospel, no spiritual venture, no prayer, no reading of scripture. You know, I just feel...lazy.

I thought prayer would not work anymore, sin has always been the thing that brought me up and down.

But God is that faithful, that He answered all my prayers in just one day! (Except for the girlfriend one.)

I prayed that my faith would be strengthen, my walk with Him will be more exciting, the Holy Spirit will give me power that He promised, that He will give me authority, that I will have success in glorifying His name, that the CF convention will be a success, that He will feed us enough during the CF convention, that I will have enough money to pay for both CF convention and Chinese Culture Christlike Living Seminar.

In just one day, God showed "5 loaves 2 fish" right in front of my eyes. He gave me to power to speak boldly. He revealed to me that I already have the power of the Holy Spirit as promised. He gave me my monthly allowance earlier (which I suppose to get only in February but I got them in February.) so that I have money to pay for both event. He excites my walk with Him by listening and heeding the challenge given by the speakers. He gave me the authority that even those who do not know me, listen to me. He gave us success in CF convention 2010 and YES, we made it! To God be the glory!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was a little bit worry when no sponsorship will be given this year(which I only found out 3 days before CF Convention), how are we going to feed these people?

But it is as if He already foresee that trouble and He made everything to lead me to cater from canteen uncle. I tasted his cooking during KC Den Naming and I decided to cater from him at a reasonable price after a few round of negotiations.

Then, some trouble popped out. That 6 February, will be a school day for some of the school. Everyone panicked, so was I. But now I realised, it was God plan. If that was not a school day, we would have to prepare them two meals, which I'm only able to provide them one! And now, that it is brought later to afternoon, problem is solved!

Wait, I don't think we have catered enough food! What about tea break?! God! Help me! I prayed, feed us! Haha, somehow or rather, Joanna, Bernard and Dennis brought some banana cake, which I had no idea at all and which was exactly enough for 220 persons!

And by grace, uncle gave us a few extra pack of fried rice! I thought it was not gonna be enough, but I could only trust God. Guess what, there were over 40 packets of lunch left at the end of the convention. PRAISE GOD X 1000. I was so shock to see that and couldn't stop praising Him for performing "5 loaves 2 fish" right in front of me! And I need to bring back 10 packets personally to finish the lunch packs! God, You are just so great! Glory to You only. Without You, we could not have done it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He strengthen my faith by answering my prayers. He answered that prayer too.

God answered my prayers, will I be able to answer His call to me and be faithful to Him just as Him to me? God, I will listen, and I want to follow.

For Auld Lang Syne, Kwai Chong

2010-01-22T18:29:00.006+08:00

Farewell Liu Kwai Chong, if God wills, we shall meet again. Thank you for everything you brought me.

(My tribute to Kwai Chong on MBSLoop)

Sadly I lost the memory of my first meeting with him. Since everyone tell good things about him, let me tell you what not-so-good things he taught me.

He's bad. He smokes in front of the youngster, and takes out another cigarette when you tell him not to. (See the attached picture)

He's bad. He scared the heck out of me with his ghost stories during Karak Observation Camp in 2005. I did not dare to pee alone at that raining night.

He's bad. He made me carry heavy stuffs and carry out heavy duty all the time. His favourite:" AH Mock Kar Wai ah, lei hui bong ngor (You Go Help Me) ..." made me hard to refuse to help.

He's bad. He made me stand in front of everyone and talk even though I don't want it. It's so embarassing standing in front of everyone with my broken language. Worse, he asked me to sing and teach people how to sing!

He's bad. He call for a campfire and made me and my gang frustrate about it. He scolded me badly when I did not do my job well.

He's bad. He raise the den named after him and I have to clean it everyday when I was a senior.

He's bad. He made me so strong so that I can stand to continue what he left for us to do.

He's bad. Bad enough that it made who I am today. I miss him smoking (even though I don't like it), I miss his ghost stories, I miss his voice, I miss the way he sings, I miss the way he calls my name, gentle yet firm.. His bad allows me to enjoy scouting more conveniently. His bad made me good.

To Kuai Chong, thank you. Have a safe journey ahead. If God allows, we shall meet again and together we shall sing the 10th KL song!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Tears~~

Some Heart Review

2010-01-10T13:02:00.002+08:00

Well, just finished my homework. Not really, but at least my Maths T Probability, because it's a topic I love!

Browsing blogs, visiting blogs I often visit but not for the past few weeks.

Read Josaiya's and Abby's blog. Haih...all I could do was sighing.

I felt so...indescribable but at the same time, I'm glad that we're not meant to be.

It's a comfort to see Josaiya loves her so so so much, way better than I could have given her.

It's a comfort to see her happily and loved.

It's a comfort...at least my tears are warm...

Midst of Persecution

2010-01-08T21:09:00.001+08:00

I'm sure you guys already heard what happened to Metro Tablenacle. Just for the record, it was firebombed and set on fire by a group of unknown youth then later another attempt on Catholic Church of Assumption in PJ.

The internet, the newspaper and the TV news are bombarding this.

My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, take courage and pray! We're in the midst of persecution here, but fear not, for Christ our LORD is with us. He said :"Love your enemiesand pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." [Matthew 5:44-45]

Let us pray for their forgiveness and for our own. Judge not, that your Father in Heaven will not judge you. Watch, guard, persevere and pray! Christ our LORD is coming! You are seeing the signs!

2010 Against Me? No Big Deal With God!

2010-01-03T15:32:00.003+08:00

=) 4th day of 2010, only then I tell you about my another year, haha!

Though one year has passed since the last poem I wrote for her, yet she's the one I missed the most. Yea, she's doing great! Way better without me!

It's 2010, yet I still seemed to be living in 2008. 2009 was like living in self-deception, other than the part with Christ Jesus. She's the one I love most, and it remained that way. Haha, Joash, let's get movin'!

A great year ahead! STPM is coming, but Joash is still loitering blindly not knowing where he's going. Pray along, that he will not lost in the midst of his confusion.

Hey Jude! It's time to come back I guess! CBC misses you! LOADS!!!

Here I come 2010, you aren't a big deal for me. If God is for me, who is against me?! [Romans 8:31]

One Thing You Lack

2010-01-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

Perhaps many of us are not atheist, they do believe in god, sometimes/most of the time, gods. Some claimed to have followed a righteous way of life.

Consider this, you did not kill, you did not steal, you did not rob, you did not rape, done nothing really wrong. You did everything a good man does, but one day God came to you and told you that you can't inherit Heaven, what would happen to you?

In Jesus' time, there was a rich young man who came to Jesus and asked the question many would ask:"what must I do to inherit eternal life?" [Mark 10:17]. Jesus told him:"You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'" [Mark 10:18]

This rich young man replied:"all these I have kept since I was a boy." [Mark 10:20]

At this point, many would think Jesus' reply would be:" Well, you will indeed inherit eternal life!", just as I thought He would be. But I was astonished to continue reading.

Jesus pointed out that the man "ONE THING YOU LACK". "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."[Mark 10:21]

Perhaps one thing we lack, we all lack. To let go of everything materialistic and follow Jesus. You know, it's hard to do you know. Even Jesus pointed out how hard it would be to let go of everything and follow Him. He said it is easier for a camel (with hump/humps on it) to go through the eye of a needle (even I have a hard time putting a thread through it) than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

You think you've done enough to go to Heaven? It's never gonna be enough!

Let's go back a little. When the young man came to Jesus, he called Him "Good Teacher" [Mark 10:17]. Jesus quickly pointed the fact that no one is righteous for He replied:"Why do you call me good? No one is good - except God alone!" [Mark 10:18]

So in fact, no one can inherit eternal life, we're all doomed!!!!

Behold, "Who then can be saved?" [Mark 10:26] Jesus said:"With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." [Mark 10:27]

It is impossible for man to achieve his own salvation and eternal life "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."[Romans 3:23] Which includes me!

I put my faith in God for all things are possible with Him. Even Jesus, as God Himself put trust in His Father in Heaven. If you read Judges, the Israelites got into deep trouble when they did what was right in their own eyes [Judges 17:6, 21:25] rather than what God wanted them to do, do not get into that trouble.

Jesus died for us on the cross and salvation is achievable through Him who is God that conquered death and sins. He did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. [Mark 10:45] What a Loving God, I can't stop praising Him. Who are we deserved to be served by God?!

For those who think that God will do or care nothing about us, God

"At that time I [God] will search Jerusalem with lamps
and punish those who are complacent,
who are like wine left on its dregs,
who think, 'The LORD will do nothing,
either good or bad.'" [Zephaniah 1:12]

The Next Level

2009-12-30T23:36:00.001+08:00

Now that the Messiah had come and you received Him, it’s time to hope for the next level. He will come again, triumphantly…

True Christmas

2009-12-23T04:52:00.001+08:00

Whenever I mention Christmas to my non-believer friends, the very immediate thing that they will think of, Santa Claus.

What? What gave you the idea that the focus of Christmas is Santa Claus? Who is this Santa Claus actually that had so much influence that took over the focus of the whole celebration?

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle or simply "Santa", is a legendary figure who, in many Western cultures, brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24^[1] or on his Feast Day, December 6 (Saint Nicholas Day).^[2] The legend may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giverSaint Nicholas. A nearly identical story is attributed by Greek and Byzantine folklore to Basil of Caesarea. Basil's feast day on January 1 is considered the time of exchanging gifts in Greece.

While Saint Nicholas was originally portrayed wearing bishop's robes, today Santa Claus is generally depicted as a plump, jolly, white-bearded man wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots. This image became popular in the United States and Canada in the 19th century due to the significant influence of caricaturist and political cartoonist Thomas Nast.^[3]^[4]^[5] This image has been maintained and reinforced through song, radio, television, and films. In the United Kingdom and Europe, his depiction is often identical to the American Santa, but he is commonly called Father Christmas.

Wikipedia.org

This man was only a Catholic Saint who was very generous and he dressed in a red bishop robe with a long white beard which gave the portray of a modern Santa Claus.

The idea is all wrong. (But wait, lol, I once thought that Christmas is all about Santa Claus too.) Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ Jesus our LORD! The day our God became man and was born in Bethlehem.

But wait again! What? Christmas is not the real date of birth of Jesus? Dan Brown claims that the Roman Catholic Churches adopted December 25, which is the day for Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, a early Roman pagan celebration of sun god in his book “Angels and Demons”, so that the new Christians in those days may adapt themselves and more convenient for them to convert.

For many centuries, Christian writers accepted that Christmas was the actual date on which Jesus was born.^[46] However, in the early eighteenth century, scholars began proposing alternative explanations. Isaac Newton argued that the date of Christmas was selected to correspond with the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere,^[9] which in ancient times was marked on December 25.^[47] In 1743, German Protestant Paul Ernst Jablonski argued Christmas was placed on December 25 to correspond with the Roman solar holiday Dies Natalis Solis Invicti and was therefore a "paganization" that debased the true church.^[8] In 1889, Louis Duchesne suggested that the date of Christmas was calculated as nine months after the Annunciation(March 25), the traditional date of the Incarnation.^[48]

Pre-Christian background

Dies Natalis Solis Invicti

Dies Natalis Solis Invicti means "the birthday of the unconquered Sun." The use of the title Sol Invictus allowed several solar deities to be worshipped collectively, including Elah-Gabal, a Syrian sun god; Sol, the god of Emperor Aurelian; and Mithras, a soldiers' god of Persian origin.^[49] EmperorElagabalus (218–222) introduced the festival, and it reached the height of its popularity under Aurelian, who promoted it as an empire-wide holiday.^[50]This day had previously been dedicated to Bacchus, in the Brumalia festival. Bruma being latin for "shortest day."^[51]

The festival was placed on the date of the solstice because this was on this day that the Sun reversed its southward retreat and proved itself to be "unconquered." Several early Christian writers connected the rebirth of the sun to the birth of Jesus.^[6] "O, how wonderfully acted Providence that on that day on which that Sun was born...Christ should be born", Cyprian wrote.^[6] John Chrysostom also commented on the connection: "They call it the 'Birthday of the Unconquered'. Who indeed is so unconquered as Our Lord . . .?"^[6]

Wikipedia.org

So Christmas of Jesus Christ isn’t true either. HAHA, great! Let’s not celebrate Christmas! =)

I tell you, the real Christmas doesn’t happen until it happens in your heart! I like this song, written by Carol Owen and Jimmy Owen.

Christmas isn’t Christmas ‘til it’s Christmas in your heart
Somewhere, deep inside you, is where Christmas really starts
So, give your heart to Jesus, you’ll discover when you do
That’s it Christmas, really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle’s glow
He’s waiting now to come inside, like He did so long ago
Jesus brings gifts of truth and life and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you’ll know….

That Christmas isn’t Christmas ‘til it’s Christmas in your heart
Somewhere, deep inside you, is where Christmas really starts
So, give your heart to Jesus, you’ll discover when you do
That’s it Christmas, really Christmas
Christmas, really Christmas
Christmas, really Christmas for you.

Let Christmas happens in your heart my dear. Let not the world deceive you anymore about Santa Claus. You think Santa will give you lots of gifts, but nothing is bigger than the gift that Jesus is offering you, the gift of life.

No Christmas is real, the real Christmas is in you. And we celebrate that Christmas!

(Santa is just so close to Satan, lol, that close…)

Non-logical Love

2009-11-26T01:21:00.001+08:00

I just bought a book from some charity book fair held in Leisure Mall. Here’s a quote I would like to share.

“Here is the true meaning and purpose of the cross. On it a divinely ordained exchange took place. First, Jesus endured in our place all the evil consequences that were due by divine justice to our iniquity. Now in exchange, God offers us all the good that was due to the sinless obedience of Jesus.

Stated more briefly, the evil due to us came upon Jesus, that, in return, the good due to Jesus might be offered to us. God is able to offer this to us without compromising His own eternal justice, because Jesus has already endured on our behalf all the just punishment due to out iniquities.

All of this proceeds solely out of the unfathomable grace of God, and it is received solely by faith. There is no logical explanation in terms of cause and effect. None of us has ever done anything to deserve such an offer, and none of us can ever do anything to earn it.”

Derek Prince

The cause and effect logic has been injected into our mind on and off, since we were young. However it is not logic that after we sin, we still get to be forgiven by God solely by putting our faith in Christ Jesus our LORD. That is exactly why Derek Prince stated that there is no logical explanation. If you really see through it, the effect has taken place, not on us but of Jesus who took our sins and took the effect (eternal judgement of sins) on our behalf.

Many people, including my beloved father cannot accept the fact that after doing all the evils, by just believing in Jesus, you can be forgiven. But this is grace of God that you do not understand. Because you want logic, and it is not logical in terms of cause and effect.

Why, I would like to ask, just like you always ask yourselves. Why do you have to think so much when it doesn’t require you to think when God offers you the salvation? Why do you go without thinking twice going your own way which one day will come to a dead end? Is it better for you to walk on the path that lead to a dead end or a way that leads you to salvation?

Solely by faith, yes. Need not to work like a donkey to please God, you’ll never earn it, because whatever you do is not worthy enough to exchange for that, but now God gives to you as a gift, take it or never. Do good because you want to do it and you love to do it for the glory of God. Do not do it because you have to do it so you’ll survive, that’s being selfish.

(I jumped off my bed to write this down immediately in case I lost my inspirations, I always do, Holy Spirit moved me, I want to make that move.)

傻劲

2009-11-20T21:40:00.001+08:00

一片、两片，

一片片落地，

可怜的花，

惨遭我的忐忑不安，

蹂躏。

15分钟后，

今年低中六生涯结束，

告别新学路上。

我却在15分钟内，

折着想你的白玫瑰。

35分钟老忠实，

提醒我，

准备好了吗？

勇气无觅处，

只好带着傻劲向你课室走去。

傻傻地，

望着你微笑，

看着你的微笑。

平时多话的我，

声带故障，

想对你说的话，

被恐惧逮捕。

我，

果然还没有勇气，

说真心的，

我喜欢你！

Hello Daddy…

2009-11-13T00:56:00.001+08:00

“爸，来载我，五分钟!” (Dad, pick me up, 5 minutes)

This is what I heard from the young lady standing beside me in the LRT. She hanged up immediately after such sentence is uttered.

Where’s “Please” and “Thank you”? Hmm, I guess people right now forget about these. Yea, in the era where everything is about effectiveness and efficiency, people talk less right now.

But is “Please” and “Thank you” take you a long time?

We all lack communication, those intimate communications between family member. Our father especially. We don’t feel grateful for the things that we receive and we see it as if we deserve it because they are supposed to provide us.

But this is not the way it should be. Yes, it is their given task to raise us up (2 Cor. 12:14 After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.), but it is also our part to be thankful (Eph. 5:20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is exactly what’s happening to the weary us. We talk less and less to our God our Father in Heaven. We starts to pray less, and we take things for granted. We only call Him up when we need Him to “pick us up”. And then we walk off without saying a thank you nor a please.

In one sentence, we lack prayer.

Yes, yell at me if you want to, but this is what is happening to Christians, at least, me.

Facebook, Twitter, TV, work, study, keep us away from Him, taking off our time to have some intimate conversation with Him.

Abigail once told me that God speaks to us, both vocally and by action. I didn’t believe in the vocal one because I just can’t hear them. She said God whispers to us, I sat on my bed silently for 30 minutes, I didn’t hear a thing. But as I grow in Christ, especially after my dark period, I would know someone is speaking to me. I don’t literally hear them, but I do know something or someone is trying to stop me whenever I’m near danger or temptation is near.

God speaks to us constantly, provided if you would stop and listen to Him.

(Joshua 22:5 But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul.)

Now, is it time for you to talk to God? Turn off your computer for 10 minutes, He only wants your 10 minutes. Talk to Him. Remember to say thank you.

It’s not all about you, it’s about Him and His love. So give thanks more, ask too.

Leading The Journey

2009-11-08T01:53:00.001+08:00

Cheese!

Here I am in Scouter’s Room of MBSSKL Scout’s Den. The boy scouts are having a PL/PS Selection Camp over here. As a Senior Troop Asst. Scouter, and the best buddy of the Boy Scout Troop Asst. Scouters, I’m here to help out the training!

Hmm, all went well, except that sudden heavy rain ruined my ~~treasure hunt plan!~~

A little disappointment there, only 9 Form 1 Boy Scouts turned up, which is not at all sufficient as we need 6 Patrol Leaders and 6 Patrol Seconds. But it’s okay, we’ll run it!

I’m supposed only to observe and leave the planning all to the present PLs and PSs, but as a strong choleric guy, I can’t help but take charge immediately. By the way, observing the boys having fun is fun itself!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How far did I go, being a choleric, charged all my ways, in all directions?

Looking at these young (however, less energetic) guys, I saw my young self. My first PL/PS Selection Camp. I tried, so hard, to be recognised by people. I stood out, I completed tasks, I achieved many things that the rest might not be able to achieve.

Yea, I did go far, perhaps too far! Far beyond what I myself can hold. Despite being recognised as a leader anyone would follow, I was never meant an official leader, not even until now (Oh ya, there’s one, being L6K Class Monitor).

~~Year 2005 – Secretary of Boy Scout Troop~~

~~Year 2007 – Asst. Troop Leader of Senior Troop~~

Year 2009 – Asst. Rover Mate of Rover Crew, Asst. Scouter of Senior Troop

Haha, notice the Asst., funny right? Alvin Kuan, the Troop Leader of Boy Scout Troop 2006 and Troop Leader of Senior Troop 2008, thought I was the Troop Leader until last year when I was sharing my experience. During the Chapel Retreat this year, he said: “ Actually, I think you should be the Troop Leader.”

Well, I guess all of these doesn’t matter to me right now. I don’t want them. I finally realise that there is no such point to pursue these position which will crush me to the ground and suffocates me.

“Great power comes great responsibility”

I finally found the path that I originally should walk. It’s no more about recognition by man, but by God who recognises my righteousness in Christ and in His work.

Romans 9:30-35

[What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone." As it is written:
   "See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes men to stumble
      and a rock that makes them fall,
   and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."]

James 2:17

[In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.]

James 2:26

[As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.]

I have faith, but now I only need to work it out!

I know why I’m not an official leader, because Christ is leading me in my journey. And I’m happy to be His follower!

Fear to love

2009-10-29T21:09:00.001+08:00

Dear God my listener,

Today’s PA, again it was terribly boring. I slept through the whole period.

Towards the end of the class, I jumped awake and ran off. Jude came by and asked me a question:" Why are boys so ego?" I smiled and replied:"Because God created girls too!"

Ego? Am I? Perhaps I am. How much would anyone else know, behind those smiles has a hidden silence, deadly lonesome? No one, I think. How long has it been, I really mean it when I said “I love you”? 1 and a half years ago, probably. Oh ya, hehe, I’ve never really told my second girl friend “I love you”

Yet, how much do I love? I’m confused.

Every lonely night that I flip through my phonebook, and find no one that I would call, no one that can listen to the every tear that drip from the very edge of my eyes.

I’m confused. Note that I’m lonely, yet could not seem to find anyone, any girl to be specific, that would be intimate to me. I know every girl in school, I can put on a smile on every girl, yet no one I found would draw herself near and come into my heart.

Perhaps it’s not that they would not come into my heart. Perhaps it is my heart that is closed and would not allow anyone to come in. It’s a havoc in there. Memories, photos, poems, music and…blood thrown all over my heart. The only thing that is shining brightly is the cross hanging on the wall of my living heart, the only living part of me.

2 thieves came into my heart, stole every spirit out of me, and left me scars and scratches all over the wall. I, living in such room, open up my heart that would comfort me, but came the thieves who hurt me so much, that I would not dare to open my heart anymore. I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want to weep, I don’t like crying.

A farmer came, with her seeds and water, on the day that again open up my heart after my first theft, inviting any guest would bring her heart close enough to let me feel her heart beating. She sowed the seeds in my living room, and said: “The seeds will grow into a shining cross, and the shining cross will spring up living water that you will not be thirsty again.” I loved the farmer, because every time she came into my heart, she lay her heart in my treasure box, that I hear every beating of her heart.

But perhaps she’s a farmer with her family, she never told me about it. And one day she left to South part of my country, and never again came back. I kept waiting, but the empty heart starts to grow old and slowing tearing apart. And a bulldozer came, ripped my heart apart.

The pain in there, is beyond what I can hold, beyond what I thought I could hold. My door is shut and locked, locking myself in there, shivering.

Perhaps they were visitors, coming into my heart, eat and drink up my spirit, snapping photos and left them all over my floor, pick up their shoes and go. I’m looking for a Mistress of my House. But no one wants to be.

Hey there! The short haired girl with a sweet voice outside the window. Slow down a bit, will ya? I’m inviting ya, to be the Mistress of my house. Would you hold my hand and come? That you and I will feel each other’s heartbeat and kiss each other’s tear.

*+_Praise † Grace_+*

Pick Me Up Piece by Piece Will Ya?!

I Forgot.....Romance

The Unreasonable Jesus

I'm Alive!

What else?! It's Christmas!!!

Sucking My Nose

Say Hi to Christmas

As He Pleases

This Week? or This Weak?

Sentence of Death

Where are they?

In The Beginning!

Penang Trip 2.1

Anthem Lights - Can't Get Over You

You Are

I Can't Live Without You

Morning Smiles

We Need It

Genesis 2:18The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be ALONE. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

It's not about me!!!

Lest I Lose Sight of You

Quarter 3!

I'm 20! + 18 days...

The Sweetest Thing

Hypocrite?

It Is Not Really My Will

More Evil Than Before

Open Minded?

The Old Selfish Me

A Way Out

Long Lost Passion

Arrival

Day 21

Day 20

Day 19

Day 18

Day 17

Day 16

Day 15

Day 14

Day 13

Day 12

Day 11

Day 10

Day 9

Day 8

Day 7

Day 6

Day 5

Day 4

Day 3

Day 2

Day 1

Departure

No Truth?

What Did I Just Do?

Failing in love

Motivation

Better is One Day In Your Court

Divided We Fall

I miss you

Status of the Day:

I miss everything about you. I miss your brows that fit your eyes so neatly, I miss your smiles that suit your lips so flawlessly, I miss your body that fits your soul so perfectly. But, of everything about you, I miss you.

Today

Be Thou My Vision

The Church and The People

Flawed

Fragile - Handle With Care

Long long day coming

Simply Obey With Faith

XEE Semester 2 Part 2

XEE Semester 2 Part 1

Post-exam Freak Out 2!!!

消失

左边的车坐位

God's Original Masterpiece - You...

Have Not

Love

Realise

+_Praise † Grace_+

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be ALONE. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.